This is Patches O'Houlihan saying: Take care of your balls and they'll take care of you.
-- Patches from Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
I've been neglecting this place again. I hate that. But then again, since its been January and Feburary, my annual back injury was due. The wierd part was I wasnt even doing anything.
There was I was just laying there in bed on a Sunday morning and thinking "My back feels wierd. It kind of hurts..." Then there was the lower back pain, the leg muscles constantly flexing, and the severe limp.
So its been weeks of semi-rest, getting a primary physician, seeing a chiro, receiving massage therapy, and taking anti-inflammatories. Lots of drugs.
With my spine starting to show signs of arthritis and compression, under the advise of both doctors, I even had to break down and get a real bed.
Me! With a bed! I haven't owned a real bed in years. Its not like I couldnt afford one. Its just that I never really wanted one. I didnt see the need since I was rarely in it. Now, here I am with a pretty decent Tempurpediac. Heck, even the frame was easy to get, which surprised the hell out of me. 
Then came the next part from my doctors. When I play sports, I have to start wearing an athletic supporter. As in a cup. A testicular cup.
I simply can not take any more hits to my lower abdominal region due to the damage it was doing to my lower back, not to mention my kidneys, as well as my genitals. Its not like I was really using those anyway.
Me! With a cup! I haven't owned a cup in years. Its been over a decade, back when it was required for the martial arts tournaments.
Even back then, I hated wearing those things. They always make you look like you are walking around with a constant bulge in your pants. Granted, thats no different than my regular days, but nevermind that.
Its just that whenever I wore a cup, I looked like a bigger pervert than I really am. Granted, I am abit of a pervert, but nevermind that.
I hadn't realized how much of this stuff had changed over the years. There are different styles, materials, colors, and sizes. So of course, ego dictated that I had to find the largest cup possible. After all, there was plenty to protect if I say so myself.
Needless to say, my ego took a hit when the sales clerk took a look at me, then pointed me over to the youth sizes, noting that I would find the small ones over by the toddler items.
Bloody hell. What did she know about it anyway?
Suffice to say, I can finally protect the lads the way they should be protected. There is a science to this.
Now if I can just figure out how to get this damn support thing over me soccer shorts without looking like a total prat...
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The Steward
   
Ken - United States
    I'm a forty-something American male
    Of Asian heritage.
    I may not be the best bloke you meet,
    But I do me best.
    View my complete profile
    I'm a forty-something American male
    Of Asian heritage.
    I may not be the best bloke you meet,
    But I do me best.
    View my complete profile
The Banner
   
Let the past be the past.
    Do not call up that which
    You cannot put down.
    Destroy that which destroyed us,
    So long ago.
    -- Sorin Relicbane
    Do not call up that which
    You cannot put down.
    Destroy that which destroyed us,
    So long ago.
    -- Sorin Relicbane