::: Tower View :::
Merry Christmas To All
And to all, a good night!
Time To Die Charlie Brown
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
In the dictionary, the definition of Redundant is "See Redundant".
-- from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
What The?
Here is something that proves that the Teletubbies are evil beings...
Am I the only one that has the urge to hunt them down and shoot them?
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Chester's phone gets hacked. Sometimes, in the end, it does matter.
**********
PvP gets animated! Damn, something else to do on the daily schedule.
**********
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
Wild Bill Guarnere: My brother's in North Africa. He says it's hot.
Don Malarkey: Really? It's hot in Africa?
-- from Band of Brothers
::: Tower View :::
Random Shots
1. A Happy (Belated) Birthday goes out to Fury. We are going to have to figure out when we can go hang out, sir. That is when Mrs. Fury says you can go out.
2. Damn it, Rose. If you ever want someone to ever write you back, then get rid of the AOL account. We all cant pretend to be 15 year old newbie virgins for the rest of our lives. Heh..
3. TMX (Tickle Me Extreme) Elmo is one of this year's hottest toys. Why?! Didnt we get enough of this little bastard already?
4. I'm seriously debating about an Xb0x 360. The price has come down on it and there are more titles available now. Oh and most importantly, Dead Or Alive Volleyball 2 is out now.
5. I'm also seriously debating about Guitar Hero 2. I know its another game I wont be able to play, but this looks like so much fun!
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Teens charged with planting bombs at Wal-Mart. I guess they wanted to make it a Target.
**********
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
If a thing isn't worth saying, you sing it.
-- Pierre Beaumarchais
::: Tower View :::
Sing Like You Mean It
Fury had this on his blog and its so good that it has to be shown again.
No wonder I always liked Natalie Imbruglia. Heh...
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Revenge is a dish served cold. And this was so cold hearted that its beautiful. (hat tip: Methos)
**********
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
A hush fell over the courtroom, injuring six.
-- seen on a tagline
::: Tower View :::
It Happens
Here are two videos that tell us that we are all human. One you feel sorry for, the other one you just want to beat the shi.. err.. hell out of.
WARNING: Not for the squeamish.
I need a shower now...
**********
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
Drive it in to Candy! She's ready for the backdoor!
-- Veph, during the dept soccer game
::: Tower View :::
Apologies Again
Sorry not being around again. The work life has been abit overbearing, but as much as I hate things they way are at the moment, I cant complain.
I've at least a day off. One of my employees really hasnt had a day off since Sept 13th.
Songs From The Big Chair
Hat tip goes to Fury for this great idea.
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
Here's how it works:
- Open your music library
- Put it on shuffle
- For every question, type the song that's playing, and don't be cheating, dammit!
- When you go to a new question, press the next button
Opening Credits: N Sync - This I Promise You
First Day At School: Bowling For Soup - Summer of 69
Falling In Love: Semisonic - One True Love
Isnt it ironic?
Fight Song: Expose - Come Go With Me
Breaking Up: The Monroes - What Do All The People Know
Life's OK: Disturbed - Land of Confusion
I guess its not that ok..
Mental Breakdown: Los Trio Panchos - Quizas Quizas Quizas
Driving: Psuedo Echo - Funkytown
Flashback: Ryan Tedder - The Look
Wtf?!
Getting Back Together: Oasis - Dont Look Back In Anger
This should have been the last one
Wedding: Coldplay - Talk
Birth of Child: Sarah Mclachlan - Dear God
Wtf?!?!
Death Scene: Uncle Kracker - Follow Me
Now I'm a cult leader...
Funeral Song: Sarah Mclachlan - I Will Remember You
WTF?!?!
End Credits: Living Colour - Broken Hearts
Fubar...
**********
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
Tell you what, Lor. We'll get a redneck keyboard just for you. Your can type in your password as "Chicken, rooster, cow, pig.."
-- Robbie, from a conversation at the office.
::: Tower View :::
Diet Rite
I was buying a large bag of Purina dog food at the local grocery store and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked "Oh, do you have a dog?"
On impulse, I said "No, I don't have a dog, but I am starting 'The Purina Diet' again. I probably shouldn't because the last time I did it, I ended up in the hospital. But I did lose 50 pounds before I had to go to intensive care with IVs in both arms."
She continued to look amazed as I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with the Purina nuggets. Anytime you feel hungry, you simply eat one or two. The food is nutritionally complete so it was perfect. I simply had to try it again.
Horrified, she asked "Did you end up in intensive care because of an allergic reaction to the the dog food? Or did it poison you?"
I replied "Oh no. I was sitting in the street licking my balls when a car hit me."
-- And if you believe that, I've got some beach front property in Nevada to sell you. Hat tip: Fury
**********
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
This gum tastes like rubber!
-- written next to a condom machine in a men's room
::: Tower View :::
Its All About The Suffering
After several months of blood, sweat, and tears (mostly tears), the largest cycling charity event has been completed. I must thank my sponsors Fury, Tigress, Kitty, Lraw, and of course, the Shima clan, for funding me for this event.
So after two days and 168 miles, its time to take stock in what I learned:
Now perhaps I can get back to playing video games on the weekends.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
In the jungle, a lion sleeps tonight. What is a weebowa anyway?
**********
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Lars: Careful Stacy! We wouldnt you to fall on your back with your legs up.
Me: Why not?
-- from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
Questions and Answers
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
3. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
4. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
6. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
7. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
8. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
17. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to start speaking?
19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
30. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
(Hat tip: Kitty)
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
When she says "Not there!" she means it.. I feel sorry for the guy who didnt heed that warning.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
The Enemy Within by Rush
I'm not giving in
To security under pressure...
I'm not missing out
On the promise of adventure...
I'm not giving up on implausible dreams,
Experience to extremes...
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece of shit Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?
-- Gunnery Sgt. Hartman from Full Metal Jacket
::: Tower View :::
Survey Says!
1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
Hmm.. Only one? This may take some time to decide.
2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
Hmm.. Only one? This may take some time to decide.
3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I can only pick ONE person?
My noisy neighbor who cant park his POS car in between the two white lines.
4. What is your favorite cheese?
American
5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal.
Bologna on sourdough with mayo, lettuce, and onion.
6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie (porn counts) celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?
Porn: Nikki Charm; Non-Porn: Diane Lane
7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?
Andrea Corr from The Corrs
8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Do you realize how much Astroglide I need to buy now that I'm sleeping with celebrities?!
9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Las Vegas
10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
Take a nap
11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is...?
Ketel One
12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
Early 1970s, buying stocks for Microsoft when they were $5 a share...
13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
Its my house! If you dont like it, you can get the f__k out!
14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?
Cooking with Bill, the Belching Gourmet
15. What is your favorite curse word?
F_ck
16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Look for the bastard reading out of the Book of the Dead. This is probably Brendan Fraser's fault...
17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the item? My wallet. I can buy everything else.
18. The Angel Of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel Of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
I know how it would start: "Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee, God, for forgiveness."
19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?
To make me and the clothes I wear, invisible. That was Claude Rain's mistake...
20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
Hmm.. Only one? This may take some time to decide.
21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? (the answer "nothing" doesn't count).
Hmm.. Only one? This may take some time to decide.
22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit... you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin'! What country are you going to live in now?
England. I already watch most of their tv anyway.
23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?
The V Bar in Las Vegas
24. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out... Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude, check it out... I can FLOAT!"?
Definately Fury's house
25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier have given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?
Megan Leigh. Hey, I can sleep with celebrities now.
26. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn't think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
Lisa Deleeuw. Hey, I can sleep with celebrities now.
27. What's your theme song?
Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park
Thanks go to Fury for this one.
**********
California Dreaming
Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, in California?
California became a state. The State had no electricity. The State had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gun fights in the streets.
So basically, it was just like California today except the women had real breasts and men didn't hold hands.
(Hat tip: Kooker)
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Its Yakko's World. And we are just living in it.
**********
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Jill: I thought you liked taking the front?
Me: No, I prefer being on top.
-- conversation during a training ride
::: Tower View :::
Stress By Any Other Name
I havent been around in so long that I feel guilty. Work is getting slightly better.
Instead of being triple booked during the day, I'm only double booked. Then there are the 100 mile ride weekends in preparation for the big ride next month. I will probably have to dwindle the length of the posts and go for just plain mass hysteria.
So all this stuff made me curious about corporate personalities and I found this. Its the Kingdomality Personal Preference Profile
Mine came out as:
Your distinct personality, The Doctor might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. Your emotions and feelings are reality based. You are not misled with half formed ideas nor are you given to radical or high risk experimentation. You follow the tried and true and do not waste time thinking about things that cannot be seen, touched, heard, felt or smelled. On the positive side, you can become an exceptional expert in your particular area of the helping professions. You can deliver and maintain consistent and beneficial service to others. You do not lose sight of the reality of the situation and can usually control your own emotions. On the negative side, your emotions may want to be sensually satisfied which might lead to too much food, drink or other sensual pleasures. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms.
I knew I should have went to medical school.
**********
Sign of the Times
How do you know you are getting old?
* You go to your 20 year high school reunion and too many people do not recognize you.
* You have gray hair in your goatee. And you only have 5 hairs there to begin with.
* You notice gray hair in other places that really shouldnt be mentioned.
* I was referring to my arms you sick people.
**********
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
No project is complete until its in a three ring binder.
-- from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
Smashing Success
If you hadnt heard yet, the World's Cup final between Italy and France was a few days ago.
The French soccer star Zinedine Zidane, in what surmounts to be his last match, lost his composure and butted his head into Italian Marco Materazzi.
Here is a guy who annoying you by bad mouthing you, your team, and your country. He's also been kicking you, elbowing you, and pushing you around. So what do you? You turn around and smack the hell out of him!
Or in this case, drive your head into this guy's chest and knock him flat on his back.
Now how cool was that?! How often do we ever get to smack the hell out of some jerk who is bugging us?!
Granted, Zidane's act probably did cost France the World Cup title. When Zidane was ejected from the game, the French lost one of their best shooters. The game was eventually decided on penalty kicks and they lost by 1.
Just to prove once again, that for every action you do, their is some price to be paid.
Then again, what the hell is anyone going to do about it?! Fire him? He was retiring anyway.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Its the Lego World Cup! Let me know when they get to Lego pron... hehehe...
**********
::: Background Noise :::
The Walls Came Down by The Call
Well, they blew their horns
And the walls came down...
They'd all been warned
And the walls came down...
They stood their laughing...
They're not laughing any more...
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Valium, Prozac, and Ritalin. Breakfast of champions.
-- Lou from the movie Mean Guns
::: Tower View :::
Happy Birthday, USA!
Everyone please have a enjoyable and safe Fourth of July! No putting the fireworks in your ears...
**********
From the "WTF?!" File
Ever wonder how some people end up with their high priced salaries? I do, especially after conversations such as this..
Professional programmer tester:Is this numeric field supposed to be in upper case or lower case?
Me: Ummm..Upper case.
Professional programmer tester:Ok, thanks! Tester walks away
And if you cant figure out what is wrong with that, then you dont deserve to be making over minimum wage either.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
The Polish group Polska Gola makes a video to sing the soccer theme "Ole ole ole" This is one reason why I watch the World Cup. Ha!
**********
Robbie McKewn wins Stage 2 of the Tour while Thor takes back the yellow jersey. Not bad for a guy who yesterday was given the finger and fell to the ground bleeding.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Zoot Suit Riot by Cherry Popping Daddies
Zoot suit riot...
Riot!
Throw back a bottle of beer...
Zoot suit riot...
Riot!
I'll run a comb through
Your coal black hair...
Are your lips moving? Are they moving in the right direction?
-- Rei, from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
Colour Blind
From Paul Goldin Research
Everyone feels despondent at times and you are no exception. You are feeling so depressed because it seems that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and you don't quite know which way to turn. So like the proverbial ostrich you are trying to bury your head in the sand. But that won't work - you have to face reality.
You are lazy - you dream of a peaceful, calm, uncluttered and uncomplicated life. Your ideal would be to share a permanent base with some person or persons who would be able to demonstrate on-going love, peace and security.
Nothing seems to be going right for you and you are thwarted every way you turn. You are not at all happy with the situation but it would appear that there is very little that you can do about it at this time. Sit back and let the situation take its course, because at this time you feel that there is nothing you can do to change whatever needs to be changed.
Recent disappointment has led you to become truly introverted. You are becoming suspicious of everybody and consequently you now feel that you are unable to trust anybody. Unfortunately it would appear that you are curbing your natural enthusiasm and imaginative nature - perhaps this is because you are fearful that you may become over enthused and find that you could possibly be carried away by wishful thinking. You are keeping your distance to see whether attitudes towards you are sincere - but this watchfulness could easily develop into suspicion and distrust.
Perhaps in the distant past your trust and belief in your fellow man was misplaced and you can now no longer accept anything as it appears to be. You are untrusting and you insist that before you commit yourself to anything, you examine the pro's and con's with critical discrimination. The situation has now progressed to one where you are apt to disagree yet not make any form of constructive criticism to every suggestion that may be put to you. As a result you are in limbo. There is a saying that goes 'The past does not equal tomorrow'. Think about it - and let go.
Well.. damn...
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Broken by Seether and Amy Lee
Because I'm broken
When I'm open
And I don't feel like
I am strong enough...
Because I'm broken
When I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right
when you're gone away...
You've gone away...
You dont feel me here anymore...
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
It just tastes so good in my mouth. Yummo!
-- Racheal Ray
::: Tower View :::
Here I Go Again
Yes, its been awhile again. I let the blog go for so long that it seems almost senseless.
But we all need that time off for one reason or another. I figured after having put up with my poor writing skills and extremely long story, that the poor folks who actually read this might want some time off.
Ok, so I admit it. I have been a lazy sod. After putting in an average of 45 to 50 hours a week at the office as well as training with the KBT cycling team, its been amazing that I get enough sleep on a regular basis.
Speaking of cycling the highlight of the past weekends has been the diabetes charity ride. It was 124 miles of pure pleasure.
That is if you didnt count all the hills, bridges, high winds, high heat, and bad traffic, it really was a good ride.
Going over a two day period, this was an early test to determine the endurance level for the large ride that comes soon: the MS150.
Based on how well I did for this ride I can honestly say I am in big frigging trouble. Thank God for large pace lines. 
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
After 10 years, Dante and Randel have moved on.. sort of. I'm not even supposed to be here today! (hat tip: Fury)
**********
Armstrong cleared of doping charges. Now this gives something else for the French to whine about.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Rio by Duran Duran
Her name is Rio
And she dances on the sand
Just like that river
Twisting through a dusty land
And when she shines
she really shows you all she can
Oh Rio, Rio
Dance across the Rio Grande
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Me? I'm their man in Nirvana. I'm their technical support. I'm... Oh my God! I'm the tin dog!
-- Mickey from Doctor Who: School Reunion
::: Tower View :::
Anti-Climatic
We went into the final day believing that the last few things remaining were to hear closing arguements. The youngest juror, JP, was estatic. All week he had been complaining, saying comments like "This is stupid. I shouldnt be here doing this crap. This guy shouldnt even have to go thru this and just be let go when his time is up." So now he was able to get out of this mess and go on with his life.
Then he asked the rest of us why Ronnie wasnt allowed to testified. A few of us laughed. I even replied "Are you kidding? The State will eat him alive!"
So imagine our surprise when the first thing that occurs is that Fleschmann calls Ronnie to the stand.
Of course Ronnie is happy. In his words, he done some wrong things in the past, but he done made up for by doing his time. He was going to be going home soon. Fleschmann did his best to portray Ronnie as a remorseful convict who would go straight.
Then the State tore him a new one.
When the State attorney asked about his treatment of Sheila, Ronnie said "Well we was into the rough stuff. She really liked it. I even had put a banana up in her."
Ok, I will admit it. I had to suppress a laugh from that comment because the first thing that I wondered was they did it with or without the peel.
When the State attorney showed pictures of Sheila's injuries, the most he could say was "Like I said, she was into the rough stuff. The more I beat her the more she loved me. She really wanted me. She's even said she would leave whoever she was with for me."
The State attorney even asked "Do all those women want you, sir?"
"Oh yah, they want me. Every woman I've met wanted me. I really cant blame them." Thats when the State showed a picture of Ronnie, in his glorious mullet, and replied "Oh of course sir."
With the topic of Denise's attack, Ronnie said "Well now, she done got me hooked on that crack cocaine. So when we go off get drunk and get high, then have sex. I liked her because she liked the rough stuff, just not as much as Sheila did."
There were just so many other comments that I had to stifle my laughter. A few of the others had to do the same.
"Well, sir. If you are released, what would be the first thing you would want to do?"
"I know my family will want to go out. Have dinner and such. I'm sure my friends and I will want to celebrate."
"Would you drink?"
"I might have one or two. Nothing too fancy."
"But didnt you get in trouble when you were drinking? When you took drugs?"
"Well yeah, but that was a long time ago. I know I'm not the same person."
"But you havent taken any kind of treatment for these things?"
"I really didnt need them."
"If Sheila came to see you, would you let her visit?"
"Oh yeah. She's still a good looking woman. We wouldnt do nothing, but we could talk."
The closing arguements finally came around and summed up each side's opinion. For Fleschmann, although Ronnie was a domestic abuser, he was not a sexual predator, and saying that he would offend again was only a guess. We could never be sure whether or not, he would likely to offend.
For the State, they showed a simple timeline, noting that Ronnie was a repeat offender that treated women like objects to prey upon. That not only is he most likely to offend again, but escalate in his violence.
The judge told us the points of law we were to discuss, the main one being that if we as a jury believed that the Respondent would be likely to offend again, we would state this and he would committed for an extended time frame for treatment. We had no say in what kind of treatment or for how long.
As opposed to a criminal case, we could have a split jury. If the majority believed that Ronnie would likely offend, then he could be committed for treatment, but he could take it back to court to dispute. If the majority believed that he would not be likely to offend, then it was his choice to take that treatment or not and could be released at his regular time, which was in Febuary 2007.
So off we went for deliberations. For the first vote, it was 6 to 1 in the belief that he would likely offend again. We all knew who the one was: The nineteen year old, JP.
His belief was that "He's already done his time. You heard that doctor Cectes. He's an abuser, not a predator. There is no reason why he should go back because of some psycho chick. You got to feel sorry for this guy."
Actually no, we dont. Sympathy isnt supposed to make a difference here.
The rest of us believed that Ronnie was going back to the exact same environment that got him in trouble in the first place: the girlfriend who would go back to him, the drinking, the drugs, and most importantly, the family that would either turn a blind eye or pay off anyone that got in the way.
For hours we discussed this, trying to get JP's opinion without the sympathy. His constant whine was "We should be able to say what kind of treatment he gets. He's an abuser, not a predator. You have to feel sorry because you know part of it was her fault cause she kept going back to him."
We could have gone on with the split decision, but that would have meant someone else would have to go thru this kind of trial. After all, Ronnie would have gone back to court to dispute the treatment.
After another hour of getting JP not to feel sympathetic, he agreed that as an abuser with that crazy family and crazy girl in his life, he would more than likely do it again. The turning point?
Foreman: When he gets out, what is the first thing he is going to do?
JP: He'll go out with his buddies and get drunk.
Foreman: Do you think he'll get high?
JP: Hell yeah, I would..
Juror#3: And do you think Sheila will be waiting for him when he gets out?
JP: Yeah, she's pretty much said so...
Juror#3: So when they both get drunk and high together, what do you think is going to happen?
JP: Well...
And with that, there was unanimous vote to send Ronnie back under civil commitment for treatment.
The points of law were abit more specific than what I detailed here, but hopefully I got the gist of it out properly. Although there was some very slow points during the trial, overall I really did enjoy myself. Not only did I meet some interesting people in the jurors, I got a first hand look at the system, good or bad, regardless of what you believe in the outcome.
This could have been an episode right out of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.
How many of us get to say that?
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
The top 10 ways you know when a woman is flirting with you. #11 - She asks you if the panties she is removing look better on her or on the floor.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Kick Some Ass by Stroke 9
How many people are sick of holding back?
I am, I am...
How many people want to kick some ass?
I would if I could...
But I'm really just a sensative artist
Portrayed that I'm as being the hottest
Acting like I'm not the smartest,
But I'm just an sensative artist
Honest...
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Me: Aw frig. Look at this email. It basically opens up a can of "Ken-Shut-The-Hell-Up!"
-- From a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
The Best Defense
By the time the Respondant's lawyers got around to presenting their case, the trial had already dragged on for several days. And we were looking for more of the same.
This time around, the witnesses were a hell of alot more humourous, if not interesting.
The Brother: This man made sure we knew he was proud to be testifying on the behalf of his brother, Ronnie. The Respondant's lawyer, Fleschmann, made sure that we heard how he saw the estranged girlfriend and victim #1, Sheila, assault Ronnie whenever they were drunk or high. He even noted an incident when Sheila hit his girlfriend "while we was at this here Monster Truck Pull a few years back".
He would be very proud to support Ronnie once he got out of jail. Apparently he had no idea what Ronnie had done.
So here was this large chested, thick necked redneck, being brought to tears by a much smaller, almost minute, female lawyer as she showed every single wound photographed on Sheila, asking the brother what kind of injury it was. He was almost completely broken down by the time she was finished thru all the pictures of the second known victim, Denise.
By that time, he was so soft-spoken that the State attorney had to keep asking him to speak up.
The Brother's Girlfriend: She was the victim of one Sheila's drunken rages because, as she put it, A few years ago, we were having a special night out. We had gone up to the Monster Truck Pull and she was there. At the end, I had gone to the bathroom and Sheila done starting hitting on my man, touching him, putting her arms around him and such. Well, I told her that she wasnt going to disrespect me like that. So she headbutted me in the nose. She totally ruined a good evening..."
Ronnie's First Son: Apparently, the just turned 18 year old was a mix of hip hop, hillybilly. The boy's pants were hanging of his arse and he walked as if he was just too cool to be there. Then when he talked, we all wondered if he was high. I had to laugh when he was asked if he ever witnessed an act of violence from Shiela: "When I was younger, my uncle and his girlfriend took me out to the Monster Truck Pull for a family night out and such..."
My mind was racing. Are we sensing a pattern here?!
The Friend: I can understand bringing out as many character witnesses as possble to show Shiela in a different light, but this one only hurt the cause. I could only snicker when this witness came in because I and a couple of other jurors had seen him in the hallway. They didnt believe me when I said this man was a witness because of the way he acted towards the family. They wouldnt believe me, but now here he was, wobbling in as another guest of the State. In leg and arm shackles.
This witness was a resident of a prison across the state, but was brought in for his testimony. When asked to raise his right hand for the oath, he could only raise his hand above his waist since his wrists and ankles were restrained by the chains.
At least he wasnt at the monster truck pull...
The Father: Now here was a man in denial. "I own a glass business that Ronnie worked at when he was a youngun. He'll work there again. He'll live with me until he gets himself settled with a new apartment for him and that woman he met while he was in jail. I'll watch over my boy and make sure he dont get into any more trouble. My family will support Ronnie through this whole thing."
When the State attorney said "But sir, wasnt Ronnie living with you when he was arrested and convicted for his crimes?", the best he could reply was "Well now we cant keep an eye on him twenty fours a day."
The Uncle: Another man in denial, but with a twist. When asked to introduce himself to the jury, he stated "My name is Elmo J. I own the Elmo J Furniture company. I've been living here for all my life. When my dear departed wife passed, I went on and married her sister, Bobbi Jo, and we have been together for twenty years. We are here to support Ronnie and to show that we care for him."
When the State attorney asked about money that had been given to Denise prior to her testimony, he replied "I didnt give her any money whatsoever. But I do believe my wife did. Something about parking tickets.."
The Aunt: This woman was scary. She reminded me of an evil Aunt Bea from Mayberry and that she would have no issues with shooting you in order to get her way. When she was asked about Denise, the second victim, she claimed not to really know her that well.
Then when the topic of money given to her, she stated matter of factly "Well the girl done called us up, begging for help because she was about to go to jail for some unpaid parking tickets. Since we own a furniture store, we are well-to-do. As a good Christian woman, I knew we could afford it so I done give her the money she needed for them tickets."
Then, the State attorney noted that Denise didnt have parking tickets on her record. Denise didnt even have a speeding ticket.
"Well thats what she told me. I had no reason to think otherwise."
Right. Of course not.
The Good Doctor: This expert witness was a clinical psychologist and its no wonder the State wanted to get in as many psychologists in as possible. This doctor, Cectes, was really knowledgeable. He had performed tests on Ronnie to check for brain damage as well as sexual abnormality.
When asked about his fees, he replied "Well, I only charge $500 an hour..." Only?!?!
After all the work and research he discussed, Cectes made a pretty profound statement: "At no point during the attacks did the Respondant become sexually aroused. He never stalked any prey in order to meet some sexual need. His victims were always women he dated. They may have had sex after the attacks, but it wasnt about power, punishment, or fulfillment, but rather anger. The Respondant had drinking and drug issues which increased his anger and in turn he would take it out on the women he was with. That makes him a domestic batterer, not a sexual predator. He may be a bad person, but being a son of bitch isnt a crime in America. Being a domestic abuser is criminal and Ronnie has completed his jail time for that. If the State wishes to incarcerate him again, then it should be for the right reason, not as a sexual predator."
That would come into play on the final day...
To Be Continued
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Second Life can actually make you money. And just like in real life, you have several companies screwing over the consumers.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Digging In The Dirt by Peter Gabriel
I'm digging in the dirt
Stay with me
I need someone
I'm digging in the dirt
Finding the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurt
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Amy wouldnt be an organ donor. That's because if she had a hangnail, her husband would be screaming "For God's sake, dont let her suffer! Pull the plug! Pull the plug!"
-- Robbie during a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
State Side Of Things
Now the case in question is a civil one. If we believed that the respondent, Ronnie, would most likely offend again, then he would be forced back to a civil committment center for treatment. This would be a medium security facility where he stay until he finished his mandatory treatment.
As a jury, we were not to determine the course of treatment or how long he would stay. Only that we thought he would do it again.
So the State Attorneys brought out everyone and everything that would push that agenda. There were the police officers in Ronnie's various arrests. There was parole officer that had Ronnie sent back. The doctors that identified the pictures of the battered and beaten victims as well as defined their injuries.
In my sick sense of humour, I found two sets of witnesses the funniest ones for the State's side of the case. These were the female victims and the three psychologists brought in.
Dont get me wrong. There isnt anything funny about sexual abuse or battery, but these particular women made things a riot.
Two new women had come foreward to testify that before the assault on Sheila, Ronnie had hit them. At one point in time, he even tore the clothes off of one girl and would have ravished in his truck except that she had run into a local convienance store. Ronnie would drag her out by the hair, toss her back into the truck, and take her back home.
Neither girl brought up charges against him because as they had both put it in a similiar fashion: "Oh he is a good old boy and dat is how it is around where I am from."
When the Respondant's lawyer, Fleschmann, asked one woman how she came to testify at this case, she stated "Well, I done married Ronnie's cousin. When I mentioned the attack when we was younger, my husband insisted that I give my statement."
Then there was Shiela, who cried through most of her testimony. Granted she was the one beaten and assaulted, but with the strong Southern drawl, it was really hard to keep a straight face. Especially when she made comments like "Yeah, I wanted him to f**k me, but I didnt want him to beat me. We done it every way we could and put it in everywhere. How else could I keep him happy?"
When Ronnie was in jail, she would write and visit him. Her letters were entered as evidence by Fleschmann, stating how Sheila was totally devoted to Ronnie, that she would leave whoever she was with for him.
And in the back of mind I kept hearing Coocoo! Coocoo! I'm crazy for Coco Puffs!
Denise refused to testify at the 1998 trial as well as this one. Instead, it came out how she had received a sum of cash from Ronnie's grandmother before her statement could be taken...
And in the back of mind I kept hearing Coocoo! Coocoo! I'm crazy for Coco Puffs!
What was worse that in my strange, crazy mind, the first few thoughts when I saw the women was "Hm, she is pretty hot. I can see why he wanted to do her..."
Which is a good lead-in to the psychologists.
All three of them went into their various educations, job experiences, and fees. One was even pushing his book as the reference point for committing Ronnie back to treatment. Then there was the one that so monotone that I kept hearing Ben Stein saying "Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?"
During one lunch break, a few of jury were debating about taking the doctors out back and beating them to death.
Then there were both set of attorneys jabbing at the doctors to get what they wanted to be said. Both sets were getting so out of line so many times, that the judge had to constantly rein them in. Then when he wanted to admonish them, he sent us to the jury room.
It didnt help that the doctors would debate with Ronnie's lawyers when he tried to discredit them. Then the judge would chew them out for doing it. In his words "You are here to answer the questions, not ask them!"
At one point, me and another juror had different bets going:
1) How often Fleschmann would get overturned
2) How often the State attorneys would get chewed out for asking inappropriate queestions
3) How often the doctors would get yelled at
4) How often we would be sent to the jury room so the judge could yell at everyone.
So after suffering thru a few days of the slow monotone pace, the constant bickering, and humorous drawls, the Respondant got present their case.
And things went downhill from there...
To Be Continued
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Japanese dirctor says that Hollywood is out of ideas. Well no, shite. How the else can you explain Scary Movie 4?
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me by TISM
Everyone else has had more sex than me
Does anyone else get that feeling?
Teenagers, naked, couples in threes...
Grandparents swing from the ceiling...
Geez everything about this song is addicting, even the video...
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Stupid is as stupid does...
-- from the movie Forrest Gump
::: Tower View :::
Have We Got A Case For You...
The case was a civil commitment trial brought on by the state to determine if the Respondant, whom we'll call Ronnie, should be classified as violent sexual offender and would most likely offend again. The state attorney's gave a description of this case as part of their opening arguements.
In 1992, Ronnie was charged for sexual battery on his then girlfriend, Sheila. He was 22 while she was 18.
One night they had gone out drinking, smoked abit of pot, and driven out to a secluded area of town where there was nothing but woods and sand dunes. They had sex in the back seat of his Ford Explorer, on the hood, and in the cab. During this event, Ronnie ripped off her clothes, slapped her around, struck her face, and bit several parts of her body. He also proceeded to use a police-style baton to beat Sheila as well as penetrate her with it. After using the baton on her lower region, they would have more sex.
After the ordeal, he dropped her home, then back to his parents' home. The next day, she charged him with the assault.
Sheila had gone to the ER where the police took several photos. They took several photos of the crime scene, finding bits of her clothing, beer bottles, and a wooden baton. In the meantime, they had put out a warrant for Ronnie's arrest.
After "coaxing" his family to work them, the police found Ronnie in his truck, hanging out down at a neighbor's house. He was he was arrested, arraigned, and released on bond. While out on bail, Ronnie was not to have any contact to Sheila.
A few nights later, Sheila went to Ronnie's home looking for him, wanting to go out, and to apologize for having him charged. Earlier that day she had attempted to get the charges dropped against Ronnie by stating that she had lied about the entire incident. Since the police collected the evidence, they knew a crime had been commmitted and would proceed with the case.
So that night, Ronnie and Sheila drove out to the woods in his truck to do some drinking, smoke some pot, and proceed to have sex. They would have sex in the back seat, in the cab, and even behind the truck. Ronnie proceeded to rip her clothes, slap her around, and beat Sheila with a hammer handle, even penetrating her with it.
They drove out to a nearby motel to have more sex where he would slap her around again. Ronnie gave a new meaning to phone sex as he used the phone receiever as a toy on her.
After several hours of this, he drove them home.
The next day, Sheila called the police on him again. Ronnie's bail was revoked, a warrant put out on him and was promptly re-arrested at his parents' home. He would be charged for the second assault as well as breaking the terms of the original bond and immediately incarcerated.
Ronnie would plead no-contest to two charges of sexual battery and was sentenced to prison for 10 years and to 5 years probation.
In 1997, Ronnie was released into probation on good behavior. He would continue to date Sheila, who had been visiting and writing him during his prison term.
In 1998, Six months after his release, Ronnie would be arrested for statutory rape of a 16 year old girl, Denise. Although, Ronnie was 28 at the time, charges were dropped because he had picked Denise up in a bar and could assume she was above the legal age of consent.
A few weeks later, Ronnie and Denise drove out to the woods in his truck in order to drink, smoke crack, and have sex. During this incident, Ronnie tore off Denise's clothes, screaming that she was working with the police to get his parole revoked.
He was determined to find the wire they had planted on her. Finding none, Ronnie proceeded to beat Denise in the face and back as well as biting her in several locations. He also used a police-style baton to beat the teen as well as to penetrate her several times before having more sex with her.
Afterwards, he began to drive her home, having Denise wear his t-shirt.
As they drove along, Ronnie held a knife to her throat, stating that he was going to cut her up and leave the pieces all over town so that no one could find her. It was at that moment, the truck stalled, forcing Ronnie to pull over.
By some chance luck, a police cruiser pulled up behind them, lights flashing.
Ronnie threatened Denise, saying that if she told anyone the truth that he would kill her. She was to tell the officers that her boyfriend "Reggie" had beat her up and that her cousin, Ronnie, saved Denise. He even cut his leg to make the story believeable.
The police officer who found them took Denise to the ER to be checked out while Ronnie refused medical treatment and was given a lift home. Denise gave the story that Ronnie told her to say. Then before an exam could be given, she went home against medical advice.
The Sex Crimes Unit investigated the false story that the teenager had given. By this time, her mother had seen the damage inflicted upon the girl and took several photos to document her injuries. Then they both went to Ronnie's parole office to file a complaint.
This time a special unit of SWAT was dispatched after Ronnie.
When they entered his home, his mother and sister were insistant that he wasnt home. A search of the garage found classic car that had been restored, but the doors and trunk locked. When the SWAT officers requested the keys for the vehicle, both females stated that they had no idea where the keys where located. But when the officers noted that they would use explosives to open the car, the mother "remembered" where the keys were and surrendered them.
They promptly found Ronnie hiding in the trunk of the car.
The state couldnt charge Ronnie for the assault on Denise because they had not collected the evidence and the victim refused to cooperate. It became a case of He Said - Mom Says Otherwise.
Despite the fact they couldnt charge him with this crime, his parole was revoked for statuatory as well as having contact with Sheila, which was against the terms of his parole. Ronnie was sentenced to finish the 4 years from his original sentence as well as an additional 5 years for the statuatory rape. His sentence would be served at the minimum security prison, the Civil Commitment Center, where sexual offenders are placed.
During this term, Ronnie began started dating his nurse, Irene, who worked at the facility. She would lose her job and her license states she is no longer allowed to treat male patients, but they are currently engaged. Ronnie has also refused any kind of sexual offender's treatment and awaits his release in the summer of 2007.
This civil case was to not only force Ronnie remain as a guest of the state, but would also force him take some kind of treatment program.
The respondant's case was that although Ronnie had done some bad things in the past, he would complete his jail time as expected and that the State was trying to incarcerate him under a law that didnt apply. There was no way that we could predict whether or not this man would truly offend once again.
Then the fun really began...
To Be Continued
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
The list of the world's least sexiest men. Frig, how did I end up at #69?!
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Boulevard of Broken Dreams (remix) by Green Day, Oasis, and Aerosmith
I walk a lonely road
the only one I have ever known
Dont know where it goes
But its only me
And I walk alone
Today is the going to be the day
That they are going to throw it back to you
I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
And the city sleeps
And I'm the only one
And I walk alone
By now, you should have somehow,
Realized what you gotta do
And I walk alone, I walk alone
I dont believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
And I walk alone
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Shut Up, Hippy!
-- seen on a bumper sticker
::: Tower View :::
Terms Of Service
Geez, I've really been gone for awhile. So to make up for it, I can finally divulge the details of my jury duty. This will take a couple of days because it could practically be a book.
You've been warned.
**********
Voir Dire
As much as people dispise this obligation, I will be the first to admit that this had to be one of the best experiences I've had. Mainly because the damn thing was funny from beginning to end which is why this is going to take some time.
I reported to the courthouse on the Monday morning as requested. The city does a pretty good job in that there is one central location for all potenital jurorists to park and the city pays for a shuttle to bring people back and forth. Normally, a juror goes thru one case and finds out if they are chosen. If they are chosen, then they are told to come back later in the week to serve.
Those that arent chosen are sent home. Job done.
After filling all the necessary paperwork and watching the silly video on jury duty, The first group is called together. I'm number two on the list. The first thought on my mind was "Frig! I'm royally screwed now!"
There are 18 of us called into a courtroom and the one sitting next to me was a younger guy who obviously was just too busy to be inconvienced. I think it was the comment of "Man, if I gotta lie to get out of this bullshit, then I'll do it!"
He really must be a really busy type of guy. After all, he couldnt have been bothered to have tucked in the dingy white tshirt under his wrinkled animal print shirt.
The first step any jury is to do called Voir Dire. This is when both sets of the lawyers ask the jurors questions in order to determine who they want or dont want to stay. I was quite proud to state my name, occupation, and how long I had lived here. After all, I'm a semi-respectable citizen of the community. Thats my story and I'm sticking to it.
The busy body next declared that this name was Redman and that he was a manager at Hardees. I now refuse to eat there for any reason.
After everyone tells who they are, the potential jury is told that this a civil case brought on by the state and the defendant was actually to be called the Respondant. The questions may be abit more adult oriented and may come upon touchy subjects such as sex and violence.
Thats when the though hits me: Sex?! Perk!! What is this all about?! Woohoo! Apparently, I've been watching Law And Order: Special Victims Unit abit too much.
There are two female lawyers for the State and they go thru there progression of questions for everyone. There are questions about how we feel about sexual offenders, sexual violence, and molestors. A few make it known that they cant be too objective as either they were victims or knew someone who was a victim.
One question asked was Would you have a problem deciding if someone should go to jail? to which Redman shot his hand up and yelped "Yes, I do!" When the State attorney asked him why, he replied "I've got alot of relatives in jail already!"
He began whispering to me "Yes! I'm going home! I'm going home!".
When the Respondant's lawyer began asking questions, Redman's hand continuously shot up.
"Have you or anyone close you ever been charged with a sexual offense?"
"Yep! My uncle! He done got seven years!"
"Have you or anyone close you ever been charged with a drug abuse?"
"Yep! My mom!"
After awhile, the Respondant's lawyer, Mr. Flechman, would just say "Thank you, Mr. Redman. I think we got you."
So every few mins, Redman would again whisper gleefully "Yes! I'm going home! I'm going home!".
At one point, the Flechman asked if anyone knew what actuarial tables were. I responded that I knew what they were and had worked with due to my employment as a computer programmer with an insurance company. Then Red would whisper Ooo! You're going home! You're going home!
It was like this for the entire 2 hour process except for when Redman had fallen asleep and began snoring. Loud. Then snorted himself awake which even made me giggle softly. I was amazed that the judge didnt toss him out for contempt.
With every question concerning the thoughts about sex, incarceration, violence, and drugs, my interest was actually piqued. I really wanted to be on this one.
The State lawyer even asked "Do you have any issue with harsh language? Do you have a problem with someone telling you, pardon my language, that they are going f*ck you?" I almost blurted out Are you kidding?! I practically beg women to tell me that!
Around 10:30am, all of the jurors were released for a 15 minute break in order for the lawyers and judge to discuss who would stay and who would go. All the way out the door, Redman continued his chant "I'm going home! I'm going home!". He practically did the Happy Dance going out the courtroom. Then again, he was doing the Happy Dance when we back came in.
After being seated, the judge spoke to us, stating that while some of us will be picked for this trial, the ones that were not picked shouldnt be offended because they could be a good juror for another trial. So those who were called would remain while those left over would return to the main hall in order to be picked for a different trial.
Redman's jaw dropped for a moment while I stiffled a snicker, my mind thinking "You arent going home! You arent going home!" Hehehe...
My name was called and I was in.
Redman collected himself and mumbled "That's ok. I'll lie to them too. I dont need this shit." Then off he went. Obviously, Hardee's needs him back in a hurry because I sure as hell wouldnt want him to be in jury with me.
With the others gone, we were down to 7 jurors and we found out when the trial would begin.
Right then and there...
To Be Continued
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Barter your paper clip for a house. Now I could afford that kind of mortgage.
**********
Goths prone to suicide. Ugh, such depressing news... everything is so black...
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Party Up by DMX
Listen
Your ass is about to be missing!
You know who gonna find you?
Who?
Some old man fishing!
Grandma wishing your soul's at rest,
But its hard to digest
With the size of the hole in your chest
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Even with my eyes wide open, I cant see a thing.
-- from the movie Zatoichi
::: Tower View :::
I'm sorry I havent been around much again. Its been hectic at the Castle. And before I forget again, a belated happy birthday goes out to Methos...
What Do You See?
For this week, I find myself in jury duty. Although I cant go into details of the trial as of yet, but the courthouse's snack bar has provided enough excitement as it is.
This morning, I went in to pick up a bottle of water and a chocolate bar. As I stood there at the counter, waiting for the cashier to ring me up, I watched as he folded up the cash from the previous person and place it in the register.
As I stood there waiting patiently, I noticed the cashier peering right at me.
I cough gently and he says "Oh, sorry. What can I get you?" I reply "Just these" and point to the water and candy. Then the cashier turns his head slightly and asks "What do you have?"
I peer closer and notice he has hearing aids in both ears. I thought that was abit strange for such a young man, but simply replied in a louder tone of voice "Just these things..." while pointing to the stuff I want.
The puzzled look on his face began to frustrate me. I began thinking how could they let this guy work here?!
Suddenly a voice behind me rang out "He's got one bottle of water and one candy bar."
Thats when I noticed the sign behind the cashier:
Cashier is blind! Tell him what you are buying and how many! Thanks!
There is the same sign is sitting under my purchases.
So as the sudden feeling of stupidity washed over me, I apologize to the cashier, state that the voice was correct, and hand over my money. I turned around to the gentleman behind me, who obviously worked in the building, and thanked him.
Its always the smallest things that make us feel the worst.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Take a trip across the country by bicycle. Time to mount up!
**********
Father vidoe game with son. Hilarity ensues. This is just wrong. Funny, but wrong. (hat tip: Sybil)
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy by Big & Rich
Cause I saddle up my horse and ride him thru the city
I make alot of noise
Cause all the girls they are so pretty
Riding up and down broadway on my old stud Leroy
And the girls say
Save a horse, ride a cowboy!
I know its a country song, but its pretty damn catchy. LOL...
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Me: I really need to be careful about what I say here.
Aimee: Dont worry, Ken. If you are around me, sexual harrassment isnt a problem, but I do grade on technique.
-- from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
Back Into The Fold
So I've been out of the loop for some time. With work, being ill, allergies, computer issues, and the cycling team, its amazing I actually had been getting four hours of sleep a day.
And to be honest, there hasnt been anything to interesting other than the typical innuendo going around the office.
Oh! I could suck all the stuff out of that one!
One second. Let stick this in my mouth.
I love the taste of that, but I always end up wiping it off of my face.
Let me spread this open...
Damn it! I stick this huge package in and nothing happened. Nothing came out!
I need to get my hands around it.
Well, you are just going to have to find a way to fit it in. Just shove in there.
Frig. This is what I get for working around a bunch of women.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Floyd Landis wins at Paris-Nice! Landis may only be the second American to win this classic race, but its yet another one that the French cant win. Hehehe...
**********
::: Background Noise :::
In The Air Tonight by Nonpoint
I can feel it come in the air tonight
Oh lord
I been waiting for this moment
For all my life
Oh lord...
A decent cover of the original Phil Collins song. First heard this on the Coach Carter soundtrack.
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
All good things must come to an end, but all bad things can continue forever.
-- Anonymous
::: Background Noise :::
Being the epitome of laziness tonight, this is the best that I can offer.
How Soon Is Now by The Psychodelic Furs
I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son
And the heir
Of nothing in particular
You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does
There's a club
If you like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go
And you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home
And you cry
And you want to die
When you say its going to happen now
Well when exactly do you mean?
See I've already waited too long
And all my hope is gone
This is the cover of The Smiths version, but I prefer this one ever since I heard it as the intro song to the tv show Charmed.
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say "What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!".
-- Steven Wright
::: Tower View :::
Call The Office
I am at the office when I receive a phone call from a lass I hadnt heard from in a year. Apparently she had some news for me.
Her: Ken, I recently had a daughter and you're the father.
Me: What the hell?! What are you talking about?!
Her: You have a daughter. She has Asian eyes so I know she is yours.
Me: You know, this isnt funny.
Her: I'm completely serious, Ken. She has the most pretty Asian eyes.
Me: There is no way she is mine!
Her: She has to be your daughter, Ken. I've only been with one Asian man and she has Asian eyes.
Me: Damn it, Mei Ling! There is no way that girl is mine!
...And if you didnt laugh at that one, then you must be blonde. Just like Nancy at office who required me and three other people to explain the joke to her.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Playboy is now offering subscriptions to students. Where was this when I was a kid?!
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Talk Talk by Talk Talk
You're laughing at me when I'm up
I see you when you're crying
For me when I'm down
I see you when you're laughing
For me when I'm up
I see you when you're crying for me
All you do to me is talk talk
Talk Talk
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
-- Harlan Ellison
::: Tower View :::
It Wasnt Me This Time
Recently, our company found out that someone in the Information Technology (IT) division broke some major rules and got himself fired.
Since I happen to work in the IT division, this had to be some serious offense. The only way for an IT person to get fired is if they were doing work for another company at the office, watching p()rn, doing day trading, or stealing data.
When this person got sacked, it made the rumour mills throughout the company.
What was even worse was the voice mail I got from a friend in another division:
Hey! If you are still working here, call me back. I just wanted to find out if they finally caught you yet.
Sheesh. Thanks for the faith.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Boom! Now I've been bored and out of beer, but damn...
**********
Time to bring the pain, baby! Terry Tate always did rock. We need a few more of him around the office.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Drive by The Cars
Who's going to hold you down
When you shake?
Who's going to come around
When you break?
You cant go on
Thinking nothing's wrong
Who's going to drive you home tonight?
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown
::: Tower View :::
Happy Heart Day
Some of the most romantic movies for the day:
Say Anything - Because I am Lloyd Dobler
Eat Drink Man Woman - Before Brokeback Mountain, Ang Lee made this gem about an old chef dealing with the love lives of his three daughters.
When Harry Met Sally - Deli scene. Nuff said.
Sleepless In Seattle - Meg Ryan. Wanting another deli scene. Nuff said.
You've Got Mail - Meg Ryan. Wanting another deli scene. Nuff said.
**********
Birthday Wishes
First to Doombringer: We didnt forget you, sir! You just happen to be in the wrong state!
Second to Gi: As much as you wanted to do it, you couldnt forget your birthday. Hehe...
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
She actually asked "Are you sure?!" I wonder if she also believed the line "I'll tap your head just before it happens..".
**********
Just a little shooting going on. Proving once again, I happen to live in the wrong place. Heh...
**********
Time to find a curry and rice girl. Damn. I need to send this to Jay... Bwahahaha...
**********
For those that are considering children. If this doesnt convince you, then nothing will.
**********
The Aussie group Tripod performing live here. There is hope for us geeks still.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Everything by Lifehouse
How can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you?
And you tell me
How could it be any better than this?
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Aimee: I'm leaving for the day. I actually get to see my husband during the daytime.
Robbie: Wont that make his girlfriend mad?
-- from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
Random Shots
I'm being lazy so this is the best I can do for now. Abit of random thoughts fired across the bow...
1) Fury sent me this article about the office spouses. Its no wonder Gi and I get along so well.
2) Lance and Sheryl broke up?! There is no hope for the rest of the world.
3) Wok Seared Lamb from P.F. Changs Mmmm...
4) And just to represent this past week...
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Time for some burgers. I drive this way too... hehe...
**********
::: Background Noise :::
I'm With You by Avril Lavigne
Isnt anyone trying to find me?
Wont somebody come take me home
Its a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
But I
I'm with you
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
We don't stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.
-- George Bernard Shaw
::: Tower View :::
I Refuse To Grow Up
You Are 26 Years Old |
 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
cough bullsh*t cough...
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Jill Hennessy talks about the things she loves. She wants me. She may not know it yet, but she wants me.
**********
The latest in floatation devices are on display here. Must not stare.. must not stare...
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Re-Arranged by Limp Bizkit
Lately I've been skeptical
Silent when I would used to speak
Distant from all around me
Who witness me fail and become weak
Life is overwhelming
Heavy is the head that wears the crown
I'd love to be the one to
Disappoint you when I dont fall down
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Kobe Bryant scored 81 points in the Lakers' 122-104 win over the Raptors on Sunday night, the second-highest total in NBA history. It's by far the most Kobe has ever scored without having to buy his wife a diamond afterward.
-- Pete McEntegart, writer for Sports Illustrated
::: Tower View :::
Damn You're Old
First order of business for this eve is to say Happy Birthday to Angelia. I was trying to figure out where to send the senior citizens discout card, but then she threatened me with a sharp pointy stick...
So no cake for Ken..! Instead she got even with me. See below...
**********
Tagged And Bagged
So I got bloody well tagged yet again. I've been getting tagged so much lately that I should have one of the little slips of paper hanging off my left ear with a GPS tracker inserted inside the skin of my bum...
Here is tonight's list, but you may not find the answers you were looking for. Ha!
1) What is your middle name? [CLASSIFIED]
2) What size is your bed? I dont have a bed. I sleep on the floor.
3) What are you listening to? Broken by Seether and Amy Lee
4) What are the last two digits of your phone #? 1 and 4
5) What is the last thing you ate? Wendy.. err.. I mean Wendy's fries
6) Last person you hugged? Men dont hug, we embrace. For a really long time.
7) How is the weather right now? Frigging cold.
8) Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? The answering machine voice.
9) What's the first thing you notice about the opposite/same sex? Eyes
10) Do you have a bf/gf ? Wouldnt this involve someone actually liking me being around?
11) Ok, who the frig took #11??
12) Do you drink? No, but I've seriously begun to think about it.
13) Have you ever gotten so drunk that you don't remember the entire nite? Aye, hence my current attitude.
14) Hair color? Black
15) Eye color? Brown
16) Fav baseball team? The best thing about baseball season is that it ends!
17) Fav animal? Dogs
18) Favorite season? Fall
19) Ever cried for no reason? Men dont cry. We just have slight drops of water departing our eyes from time to time.
20) Last movie you watched? Underworld Evolution
21) What book are you reading? Hellblazer: Red Sepuchre by Mike Carey
22) Piercings? one in my left ear
23) Favorite movie? Akira, Fist of Legend
24) Fav college team? None truly. I did notice Angelia said OSU and would have to say that we all like some Beaver...
25) What are you doing right now? Grumbling like mad hatter.
26) Pets? Yes, I do tend to pet when the time arises. Why?
27) Dog or cats? Dogs.. Cats taste better, but not as much meat on the bones.
28) Favorite flower? Snapdragon
29) Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to be doing? Its my job.
30) Have you ever loved someone? Absolutely
31) Who would you like to see right now? Jenna Jameson; she has some really nice big round.. umm.. eyes..
32) Are you still friends with your ex's? At times.
33) Have you ever fired a gun? Yes, and if my neighbors keep f**king up, I'll fire it some more times.
34) Do you like to travel by plane? Absolutely
35) Right handed or left handed? Depends on what I'm doing at the time...
36) If you could be with someone right now, who would it be? Jenna Jameson; she has some really huge.. ummm.. tracts of land...
37) How many pillows you sleep with? None. You assume I sleep on a bed.
38) Are you missing someone? yes
39) Do you have a tattoo? Two of them.
40) Do you watch cartoons on Sat. mornings? No; Justice League Unlimited isnt until Sat night.
41) Are you hiding something from someone? Of course. Its the best thing I do.
42) Do you play an instrument? Well, I've never called it an instrument, but sure...
Now I have to tag a few other victims. So Fury, Chloe, Axe, and Bobby.
Of course they have the option of not doing this, but you will be cursed like those mass emails always say. Hehe..
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Engineer rides bicycle modified with rocket engine. Dont we have these things already? They're called motorcycles!
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Over The Hills And Far Away by Night Wish
Over the hills and far away
For ten long years
He'll count the days
Over the mountains and the seas
A prisoner's life for him there'll be
This version is more of a dance mix, but I remember first hearing this song from Sharpe's Rifles
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
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