Castle Shima

Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece of shit Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?
-- Gunnery Sgt. Hartman from Full Metal Jacket

::: Tower View :::
Survey Says!
1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
Hmm.. Only one? This may take some time to decide.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
Hmm.. Only one? This may take some time to decide.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I can only pick ONE person?
My noisy neighbor who cant park his POS car in between the two white lines.

4. What is your favorite cheese?
American

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal.
Bologna on sourdough with mayo, lettuce, and onion.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie (porn counts) celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?
Porn: Nikki Charm; Non-Porn: Diane Lane

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?
Andrea Corr from The Corrs

8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Do you realize how much Astroglide I need to buy now that I'm sleeping with celebrities?!

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Las Vegas

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
Take a nap

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is...?
Ketel One

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
Early 1970s, buying stocks for Microsoft when they were $5 a share...

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
Its my house! If you dont like it, you can get the f__k out!

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?
Cooking with Bill, the Belching Gourmet

15. What is your favorite curse word?
F_ck

16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Look for the bastard reading out of the Book of the Dead. This is probably Brendan Fraser's fault...

17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the item? My wallet. I can buy everything else.

18. The Angel Of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel Of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
I know how it would start: "Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee, God, for forgiveness."

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?
To make me and the clothes I wear, invisible. That was Claude Rain's mistake...

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
Hmm.. Only one? This may take some time to decide.

21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? (the answer "nothing" doesn't count).
Hmm.. Only one? This may take some time to decide.

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit... you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin'! What country are you going to live in now?
England. I already watch most of their tv anyway.

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?
The V Bar in Las Vegas

24. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out... Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude, check it out... I can FLOAT!"?
Definately Fury's house

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier have given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?
Megan Leigh. Hey, I can sleep with celebrities now.

26. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn't think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
Lisa Deleeuw. Hey, I can sleep with celebrities now.

27. What's your theme song?
Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park

Thanks go to Fury for this one.
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California Dreaming
Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, in California?

California became a state. The State had no electricity. The State had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gun fights in the streets.

So basically, it was just like California today except the women had real breasts and men didn't hold hands.

(Hat tip: Kooker)
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::: Out In The Yard :::
Its Yakko's World. And we are just living in it.
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* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
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