Castle Shima

Ready my knights for battle. They will ride with their king once more.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Questions and Answers

Lars: Careful Stacy! We wouldnt you to fall on your back with your legs up.
Me: Why not?
-- from a conversation at work

::: Tower View :::
Questions and Answers
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

3. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

4. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

6. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

7. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

8. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

10. Is there another word for synonym?

11. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

17. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to start speaking?

19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

25. How is it possible to have a civil war?

26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?

30. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

(Hat tip: Kitty)
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
When she says "Not there!" she means it.. I feel sorry for the guy who didnt heed that warning.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
The Enemy Within by Rush

I'm not giving in
To security under pressure...
I'm not missing out
On the promise of adventure...
I'm not giving up on implausible dreams,
Experience to extremes...


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* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
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