Castle Shima

If you are going to keep your home and yourself sloppy, please dont tell anyone you go to Lakewood Church. Tell them you go to First Baptist Church... -- Pastor Joel Osteen, Lakewood Church.

Tower View
Errata
For all the emails I've gotten recently, thank you all for writing. I hope this will answer a few questions that came up.
1. Yes, in the post concerning Las Vegas, it was 5000 feet, not 5000 miles.
2. Yes, in the post about the mp3 player for the AK47, I meant to say here, not tere.
3. No, I dont wish to make my member any bigger, despite the fact that I'm Asian. Its genetics and there isnt anything I can do about tha... oh wait.. that was a spam note. Ummm ...nevermind...
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Where Is The TechniColor DreamCoat Now?
There is now a scholarship for white students only. I know this was brought up in an effort to fight some of the siliness of affirmative action, but somehow this feels wrong. Almost as if this was stooping to the level of affirmative activists.

If this scholarship gets to stay around, then I figure that this should go to the South African student that was suspended for trying to be elected as "The Most Distinquished African-American" in his high school . The problem the school had was that the student was white, not black.

He was African-American. According to the rules, that is all that should have mattered.

Its stuff like this that brings out stories like the police dog accused of racial profiling.

I guess the people accusing the dog forgot that canines are color blind.
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I Know I'm In Trouble
The wretched King Minos has decided your fate. His tale wraps around his body 2 times.
The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to... the Second Level of Hell!
Second Level of Hell

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
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Out in The Yard
Teen girl goes down on boy during school video. At least he didnt try the old "Hole At The Bottom Of The Popcorn Box" trick.
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Man invents dual squirtgun system for bicycles. Now this I can get into. Hmm, I wonder if they would handle a few paintball rounds?
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Background Noise
Hold Back The Rain by Duran Duran

The clouds all scatter
And we ride the outside lane...
Hold back the rain...
Not on your own
So help me please
Hold back the rain...

***************************************
* We keep driving into the night
* Its a late goodbye
* Such a late good bye
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Detective 01: Didnt the couple, that were killed in the car, have a super-conductive device with them as well?
Detective 02: Yes, they had a super-conductive vibrator.
-- from PatLabor: The Movie 3

Tower View
Grammy Scammy
I broke down and watched part of the Grammy's last night. Now I'm regretting it.

Although the performance from the Foo Fighters was excellent, everything else seemed so drab. For that little time that I watched the show, it became apparent that CBS was determined to make the anti-superbowl show, especially with the bad camera editing work that kept jumping the screen.

Then there was the diatribe by some music producer concerning his politics and personal agenda.

I can understand the need for funds to help save music programs in schools, but to call the "search for nothing a waste of money" is personal opinion. It may reflect what many people think, whether it be the search for wmd or the exploration of mars, but its still a personal opinion which made me NOT want to fund anything this man would ever speak for.

Then there was the obvious arguement about digital media. This speech about the act of downloading music makes the industry appear as whining children, throwing a temper tantrum because they arent getting their way. Of course this speech was followed by the latest public announcement indoctrination... I mean, commercial, against downloading music for free.

On a side note, I'm debating about sueing CBS for hardship and emotional trauma. Not only was this an excruciating painful show to even watch, but they dared to have Andre 3000 of Outkast show his nipple.
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Out in The Yard
Bicyclist argues with driver, then shoots him. At least I'm not the only one with cycling rage.
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Bicycle police shoots driver dead. I've missed my calling.
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The philosophy of Sinistar. Here comes another cult...
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Now tere is an MP3 player for the AK-47 machine gun. Great. Another accessory I need to buy.
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Background Noise
The Westminster Dog Show is on.

I'm a dog fan. I cant help it, especially since I tend to have the same maturity level as with most dogs. And just like with most male dogs, we like to have our bitches...

***************************************
* We keep driving into the night
* Its a late goodbye
* Such a late good bye
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What the have I married into?! -- Chandler, from Friends

Tower View
Double Standards
The Effingham County School Board doesnt want to give a student credit for her work. This young lady is in the school's work program, but because she is a hostess for Hooters, the school board doesnt want to give the credit.

The standard for the work program is for a student to get a job in the retail or service industry. Just because the board doesnt like the company shouldnt matter.

What kind of example are these people showing?! The girl is actually willing to work..! Her parents are supporting her for work..!

Kind of ironic that the Board Superintendent, Michael Moore, has a daughter that has a job within the school system although she doesnt meet the qualifications. The job required that the employee had 3 years experience within the school system. Moore's daughter only had 2 years experience.
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File Under Stupid Lawsuits
1. Someone is actually sueing over the Janet Jackson breast fiasco. Apparently, its too hard for people to actually change the channel or even, God forbid, turn the damn tv off. You want pain in suffering? Think about how your tax dollars are being wasted on this mess because it had to be filed in federal court.

2. A federal judge rules that former Ohio State running back, Maurice Clarett, should be allowed into the NFL draft even though Clarett doesnt meet the eligibilty requirements. The judge believes that the rule that a player must be out of high school for at least three years before they can play causes a monopoly for the NFL. Apparently, the judge believes that Clarett is incapable to playing another college, finish college, play for the Arena Football League, or play for the Canadian Football League.

Even if Clarett is considered eligible, would any team want a whiny crybaby who got caught breaking the rules that got him kicked out of college?! Oh wait... Lavernues Coles plays for the Washington Redskins. Nevermind...
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Out in The Yard
ESPN cancels Playmakers after the first season. Apparently the show was abit too realistic. Football players taking drugs, beating their wives, and carrying handguns?! Say it isnt so!
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Boy survives 15 story jump to avoid being teased about losing to video game. Geez, wonder what would have happened if he was called a wuss.
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Background Noise
Champagne Supernova by Oasis

Slowly walking down the hall,
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you
While we were getting high?
Someday you will find me,
Caught beneatth a landslide
In a chapagne supernova
In the sky

***************************************
* We keep driving into the night
* Its a late goodbye
* Such a late good bye
***************************************

I'm a go-getter. My girl works and I go get her. -- seen on a T-shirt.

Tower View
Viva Las Vegas
Whenever a chance for a new bicycle ride comes up, I try to take it. This explains how I got talked into riding in Las Vegas.

It was supposed to be a 60 mile road ride done at a leisurely pace. It was supposed to be just a few little hills. It was supposed to be only a little chilly.

It was a total lie.

Those few little hills happened to be in all in a row and created one side of a mountain. In this case part of Red Rock Canyon. It also happens to be at least over 5000 miles above sea level; an altitude that I had never tried before.

Then there was the weather. I've ridden in the cold before so that wasnt a concern, but it is still disconcerting when you see snow in the desert.

So instead of that leisurely 60 mile bicycle ride, this became the 20 miles of torture; riding in the freezing cold... up hill... both ways...

If I had been smart, I would have read the site of the bicycle rental shop, The Blue Diamond Bike Outpost. It even mentions 13 miles of grueling desert... What in the world was I thinking then?! Sheesh...

Now only one thing comes to mind. I'm going to have to try the off road circuit next year. Heh...

If you happen to make it out to the Blue Diamond Outpost, ask for Mike. Great lad that set us up on some premium bicycles.
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Casino Notes
1. When on the Vegas strip, visit Fatburger! Great burgers and really good service that could put some hotels to shame. Ask for Cooper.

2. Krispy Kreme doughnuts: food of the gods.

3. Bathrooms in hotels should require the toilet paper to be at least within an arm length of the toilet, not on the other side of the frigging room.

4. If Nevada ever becomes an open carry state, I'm going to have to shoot all the street vendors, especially the little pushy ones that hand out the cards and pamplets for the local strippers and escort services.

5. Then there are the vendors that keep asking "When are you folks leaving?" in an attempt to get tourists to get into some of the smaller hotels or other tourist traps, especially the one that said I was from "How-R-Ya!" I am assuming the wee bastard meant Hawaii...

6. With all the Japanese tourists that stopped and looking at me, I figure that I must appear as a shorter, older, less coordinated, and slightly wider version of Ichiaro.

7. The Bellagio hotel put up some awesome displays for the Chinese New Year's, the Year of the Monkey.

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Out in The Yard
Take the Dungeons & Dragons alignment test. Apparently, I am Neutral Evil.

Based on your answers to the quiz, your character’s most likely alignment is Neutral Evil.

Neutral Evil
A neutral evil villain does whatever she can get away with. She is out for herself, pure and simple. She sheds no tears for those she kills, whether for profit, sport, or convenience. She has no love of order and holds no illusion that following laws, traditions, or codes would make her any better or more noble. On the other hand, she doesn’t have the restless nature or love of conflict that a chaotic evil villain has. The criminal who robs and murders to get what she wants is neutral evil. Some neutral evil villains hold up evil as an ideal, committing evil for its own sake. Most often, such villains are devoted to evil deities or secret societies. The common phrase for neutral evil is "true evil." Neutral evil is the most dangerous alignment because it represents pure evil without honor and without variation.

--excerpted from the Player’s Handbook, Chapter 6
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Background Noise
"They play as there is no tomorrow" -- Samuel Jackson

Its the Super Bowl, baby! Even though I'm not that excited about this year's game, its still the Super Bowl. This means we have to watch for the Awesome Commercials!

The best ones have been:
-- The Tostitos wedding
-- McDonald's cheeseburger effect
-- Pizza Hut and the Muppets
-- Anheiser Busch commercials
-- the Pepsi Bear
-- NFL Network singing "Tomorrow"

***************************************
* We keep driving into the night
* Its a late goodbye
* Such a late good bye
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Hey! You got to stop doing stuff like that! You're ruining it for the rest of us! -- My comment to Marty, Gi's husband, who sent her flowers to the office to celebrate their 6 month anniversary.

Tower View
New Year, Same Sh... Umm.. Stuff
There is a saying that goes something like "The more things change, the more they stay the same." This has become an apparent thing, especially at work.

Why is everything there still considered a critical matter? Why is the sky falling and the world will end tomorrow?! Why is information displayed of a report say Unknown?!

More importantly, why is the person who is complaining about the Unknown information saying that my program doesnt work when they admitted that they were the one who entered the information incorrectly?!
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The Ex Files
I'm going to have to put some thought about switching gyms.

For the past few months, I havent had time to work out, so it was quite a relief to finally get back to the routine especially since cycling season begins next month.

But then why do I need to switch?

Because there is nothing more disconcerting than entering the gym, ready to work hard, ogle at the women, and the first thing that occurs is that you literally run into the ex-wife as she walks across the floor.

Apparently she joined during my incarceration in Work Prison.

To break the ice, since she was just as suprised as I was, I decided to talk first: "OH SH_T!!"

So much for that idea...

She didnt say anything, but the glare was there.

Geez, first there was the ex-girlfriend. Now, its the ex-wife?! What is next? The lass that I dated back in high school?!
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Send Out The Forces
RIAA has sent out the music police to stop street vendors from selling bootleg cds.

I am not a fan of the RIAA and as much as this sounds illegal, this really isnt an illegal act.

Their lawsuits against file sharing may be stupid, but remember that file sharing means we share, not charge. If they cant make money off of the product, then neither should we. The RIAA is trying to stop others from making money off of their products by sending in agents on their behalf. Its just that normally, people just send lawyers instead of the music swat team.

What does raise a concern is the way these "agents" are acting and who they are targeting. These men are former police officers come running out of an unmarked van, wearing police style vests marked RIAA, giving tickets, taking photos, and impounding cds from of all people, immigrants that have trouble with the English language.

The article noted that the vendor interviewed had to speak thru a translator. Granted, he shouldnt have been selling the stuff in the first place, but the first thing this man will be thinking is that these are legitimate police officers, not civilian agents. Especially if these RIAA enforcers "lose" something in the translation (aka infer they are real cops).

So why exactly couldnt these men go a few streets up and do the same thing to the vendors who could speak English? Probably because anyone else would shoot them on the spot.

Makes you wonder what will happen when you have your own yard sale and you happen to be selling cds...
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And You Thought I Was Bad
I may have road rage, but the gunfight at the traffic lightsets a new standard. Worst of all, this was started by a firearm instructor! And he didnt even kill his target... sheesh...

Thanks for ruining for the rest of us, you bastard!
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Money Matters
As much as I complain about my funding situation, or in this case, lack there of, I realized that I just need to shut up. Here is an article that shows some of the most underpaid people in the US.

Ironic that two groups that people rely on the most, police officers and paramedics, are on this list.

Best pray that you dont an emergency any time soon.
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Out in The Yard
Cat markings honor Dale Earnhardt. Dumb...
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School to set grades based on academic achievement. Duh..!
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Dealership gives car keys to 14 year old; car is promptly stolen. Doh!
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Man tries to fake death to avoid the police. Dimwit...
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Principal reassigned after trying to teach kids that slurs are a bad thing. Dunce...
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Two students arrested for planning assault on their school. Dorks...

Background Noise
Faint by Linkin Park

I am
A little bit insecure,
A little unconfident
Cause you dont understand
Or do what I can...
Sometimes it
Makes no sense....

***************************************
* We keep driving into the night
* Its a late goodbye
* Such a late good bye
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I have plenty of talent and vision. I just dont care!
-- The sign hanging outside my cube at the office.

Tower View
Another One Gone By
So here it is; the last day of the year. So is it really a new beginning of things?

I really dont know. It could be just like any other day.

A lot of us woke up today, got dressed, fought traffic, and went to work. We went through our routine as if nothing else occurred. Tomorrow, it will be a different year with the same surroundings. We will wake up, get dressed, and go thru the routine over again.

What exactly is different?

Perhaps its in our perceptions.

We see this change in seasons is a chance for us to do something new and exciting; something that perhaps we've been wanting to do for awhile. Or even maybe, bring a change into our lives, hence the New Year's resolutions.

This time of year gives us a chance to celebrate everything in our lives and that chance to move forward.

With that being said, Happy New Year to everyone!

Stay safe, stay healthy, and for God's sakes, stay out of the bicycle lane! Heh...
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My New Year's Resolution
The Carpool Cheaters website shows pictures of drivers at their worst driving. Some pictures are of drivers speeding down the carpool lane with only themselves in the car. Other pictures have those who use the bicycle lanes to cut traffic or take up two parking spaces so no one can park next to them.

I love this idea! Instead of my road rage compelling me to want to shoot the offenders, I can take a picture and post it on the Internet for all to see..

As the Carpool Cheats guys say "If you don't want your picture taken while you're doing something illegal, don't do it in public!"
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While I'm Thinking About It
Since this is New Year's Eve and the end of the holiday season, here are few things that come to mind:
* Check out Cynical Tyrant's entry for today . Good words from a good writer.

* So what the hell exactly does 'Auld Lang Syne' mean anyway?

* Time to get rid of those unwanted gifts so dump them to other people online. I wonder how many fruitcakes are out there?
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Out in The Yard
I, Robot Now was a trailer that came out recently. It looks interesting since its based off of Isaac Asimov's 3 rules for robots. The downside is that Will Smith is the lead so this may or may not be a good movie.
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New reality show has fiance be mean to his bride-to-be. This one actually sounds interesting. Be a jerk to the bride AND get paid for it?! Most men are used to doing that for free.
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There is a school for people on how to control their swearing. Are you fu__ing kidding me?! What a bunch of bullsh_t! You fill in the blanks.
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Lord Of The Rings is being considered as a story full of racism. Someone has way too much time on their hands.
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Man has 114 dead cats in the freezer. Thats a lot of Chinese dishes.
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Background Noise
The Enemy Within by Rush

I'm not giving in to
Insecurity or pressure...
I'm not missing out
On the promise of adventure...
I'm not giving up
On impossible dreams...
Experience to extremes....

***************************************
* We keep driving into the night
* Its a late goodbye
* Such a late good bye
***************************************

Its a tan suede jacket! I can tell..! I smelled the box!!
-- Will while he was checking his presents. We've gone from present shakers to present sniffers.

Tower View
Christmas At The Castle
Hope everyone had a good and safe Christmas day.

It was pretty much the typical Christmas for the Shima clan; Church, presents, late dinner, presents, children running wild, presents...

Did I mention the presents?
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Its All About The Greed
Apparently a woman wanted her Christmas gift at the expense of Peyton Manning, quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts. The woman, Jamie Ann Naughright, accused Manning of ridiculing her in a book released many years ago.

While in college, Manning played a prank on Naughright who was one of the football team's trainers. Since then, the University of Tennessee had paid Naughright over $300, 000 over this incident.

Manning's book mentions the incident, but not the person other than the trainer with "the foul mouth." Naughright claims that this person was her and that he is ridiculing her.

Let me get this straight.

The man never mentions her name, but apparently it must be her. He must be obviously making fun of her so Manning must pay her money.

Hell, I'm making fun of the greedy wench just because of this incident now. Many people wouldnt have even known about her if it wasnt for this moronic lawsuit.

And why should Manning have to pay her anything for expressing his opinion, especially when there was no name given? Isnt this what the First Amendment is for; Freedom of Speech? As far as I remember, being embarassed isnt supposed to be cause for litigation.

I guess the personal training jobs arent paying as well as they used to.
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I Am A Happy Bunny

congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Out in The Yard
ACC commissioner notes that some calls were missed, but that the referees still did a good job. Are you kidding? I'm not a major fan of either FSU or UF, but when the referrees make such obvious mistakes, it makes viewers wonder who is getting paid off.
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Family gets a phone call from their son after going to his funeral. And just like his mum said "Somebody's in deep trouble."
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Background Noise
Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory is on again for the holiday season.

Oompa loompa,
Doom pa dee do.
I have a perfect puzzle for you.
Oompa loompa
Doom pa dee dee.
If you are wise, you'll listen to me...

Those Oompa loompas always were wee little bastards...

***************************************
* We keep driving into the night
* Its a late goodbye
* Such a late good bye
***************************************

Lady 1: Oh honey child, when my daughter grows up, she's going to a nurse!
Lady 2: What you mean, baby? When your child grows up, she going to be swinging around a pole for money...
-- comments from two southern Black women that were overheard during the breakfast line at the office cafeteria.

Tower View
Tolkien Would Be Proud
At least I would hope he would be.

Return of The King was released this past week and I must say this was worth the wait. This movie finishes the triology and definately fits the epic novel. At 3.5 hours long, the movie didnt feel long, at least not to me.

Granted, I also made sure that I had gone to the bathroom before the movie.. Heh.

Some noteworthy trailers, The Chronicles of Riddick, which is the sequel to Pitch Black, and The Butterfly Effect, which looks pretty good despite starring Ashton Kutcher.
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Speaking of Tolkien
I've never met the writer from the blog Anne Central. The only image I've seen of her before was the one she has displayed at the top of her blog.

So when Anne posted the image of herself and her costume, I was pleasantly surprised. Not only by the attractive young lady in the picture, but by the costume she made to commermorate Return of The King.

Anne not only looks just like one of the elves from the movie, but she even made an impressive looking replica of an elvish bow.

Now if she can hit an orc in the eye from over 100 yards, I will really be impressed.
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Evil People! Evil People!
During a recent meeting at work, a co-worker noted that Weight Watchers has scored a large profit this year; supposedly near a billion dollars.

I dont know how true this is, but I dont doubt it either.

Between the pizza, potluck lunches, danishes, doughnuts, candy, cakes, cupcakes, and cookies that has been around my office, its no wonder that the weight loss company drool at the prospect of new clients for the upcoming new year.

I'm amazed that everyone in my department hasnt gained nearly 50 pounds.

Granted, Gi has been complaining that she has gained 10 pounds, but I think she is crazy anyway. I've got fountain pens that are heavier than her.
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The Cookie Monsters
This article by Wendy McElroy discusses how universities around the country are having cookie sales in order to spoof Affirmative Action (AA) and open discussions about this policy.

For white males, cookies are $1 while for females and blacks, the cost is much less. Its not so much the cookies, but how they are priced that bring up the discussion.

Why does one gender or race get different treatment as opposed to others? Dont we normally call this sort of thing profiling? Why are people in Cincinnati upset about such things?

After all, since universities do this for admissions, then it must all right for police to do the same thing when arresting criminals.

This is the type of silliness that politically correct persons and AA dont wish to be discussed. This becomes prevelant by the number of universities that dont want the cookie demonstrations on their campuses.

And before anyone thinks I'm venting from the hip, keep in mind that that I'm a member of "minority" race as well.

Equality is for everyone, regardless of race and gender.

Otherwise you may be the next one charged the $1 for a cookie...
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Out in The Yard

Broadway Joe wants a kiss from Suzy Kolber. I dont blame him; I wouldnt mind kissing Suzy either.


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Gamer wins lawsuit over online theft of game equipment. Darn right. If we pay to play, then we expect to keep the things we paid for.
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Background Noise
Titanic is on the television. If it wasnt for those damn commercials on ESPN the NFL game would be on.

Granted, I liked this movie when it was first released, mainly because of Kate Winslett, Suzy Amis, and the fact its a James Cameron movie.

The best thing about the movie: Leonardo DiCaprio dies at the end.

***************************************
* We keep driving into the night
* Its a late goodbye
* Such a late good bye
***************************************

As of this moment, we are at war. -- Commander Adama, Battlestar Galactica

Tower View
Positives and Negatives
Kudos must go out to:
* SciFi Network. Their release of Battlestar Galactica is actually pretty good, despite all the early criticism. They remembered that it was the humans, not the special effects, that told the story.

Edward James Olmos, who plays Adama, said that hardcore fans shouldnt want the show because they are just going to complain about the changes. I will have to agree with him. Although I like the show, many arent going to like the fact that Starbuck is a female now and she is attracted to Apollo.

I dont see the issue.

We all know the original Starbuck, Dirk Benedict, wanted Apollo, Richard Hatch. He was in denial. Ha! Ha! (This is a joke. This is the part where you snicker.)

* Ruben Studdard. This article notes out the American Idol winner is proud to be where he is, regardless that his friend, Clay Aiken, has made larger strides in the music world.

Granted, I dont listen to either of these artists, but still a good gesture.

* The judge that allowed screeners to be sent out to the Academy viewers. This will prevent us being limited to Rob Schneider and David Spade up for an award.

Boos must go to:
* The BCS. As Joe Theisman said, drop the C in the name because thats what it is.

What else can you call a forum that doesnt have the #1 and #2 teams playing for the championship?

* Indiana University. The College of Law took took down their Christmas tree under pressure of the students. The tree was originally decorated with maps of the world and non-denominational ornaments in order to show diversity.

Apparently that wasnt enough.

* The woman from Joe Average. This was the show that allowed a beautiful woman choose an average looking male, not some model or body builder.

By choosing the extremely handsome guy that lives with his parents and was placed into the game as a distraction, she once again proved what women are really after.

Major setback for those trying to break the female stereotypes and major proof for the angst of many divorced men.

* Abercrombie & Fitch. The clothing company has recalled their Fall catalog. Parent Advocacy groups didnt like seeing this type of thing marketed to their kids.

So what if its racy? Excuse me, but these catalogs were bought and paid for by those persons above the age of 18.

Why were you letting your kids look at it if you didnt want them to see it?

New Term Meaning Nothing
Speaking of which, parents are being warned about violent videogames by the typical groups. They are now giving these types of games killographic.

Nice name; same weak message.

Games such as these are geared for teens and above. If your kids arent mature enough to distinguish between fantasy and reality, then dont buy it for them.

Hmm.. I wonder if the gaming industry can file a suit against these groups for using a term that they find offensive?
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Out in The Yard
Tenant shoots landlord over rent raise. Great. Another smart guy ruining it for the rest of us lawful gun owners.
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Carjacker wrestles gun from police officer, but gets beaten by other citizens. One more for the good guys!
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Background Noise
Hold Back The Rain by Duran Duran

And if the fires burn out
There is only vital blame..
Hold back the rain...
No time for worry
Cause we're on the roam again...
Hold back the rain....

***************************************
* We keep driving into the night
* Its a late goodbye
* Such a late good bye
***************************************

Hello?! We Need More Toilet Liners! -- from a sign hanging in the men's room at work. I didnt realize this was an issue.

Tower View
Although it was pretty typical quiet Thanksgiving at the Castle, there were some memorable moments:

Freeze Frame
A local bicycle dealer had sponsored a 30 mile road ride on Thanksgiving. So on a cold holiday morning, nearly 50 cyclists gathered to fly on the road; myself included.

How I got talked into riding at 7:15a on a holiday is beyond me. It wasnt that long ago, that I wouldnt even consider waking up before 8a. And then in the absolute cold weather...??

I practically froze my hands every time I touched the metal frame of my bike, even with my gloves on...

What happened to me? I used to be cool?!

On the other hand, I cant wait to do it again. There is something exhilirating about riding in cold weather.

Probably because all the blood has frozen in my head...
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Time For Dinner
Since I helped schedule this year's dinner, I had to tell my cousins, their boyfriends, and the rest of the family what time to be at the parents' home.

As an Asian family, we tend to be the bad when it comes to being on time, especially for our own functions. But as Asian females, my cousins are the worst of the bunch. These four girls would be late to their own funeral.

Since dinner was going to be 4:30, the best thing to do would be to plan ahead.

I told the girls to be at the house at 3p while I told the rest of the family to be there at 4p. Sure enough, they all showed up at 4:15.

When they asked why I told them to be there so early, I just looked at my watch and said "What time did you show up? Now you know why I told you 3p..."
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Then There Was The Pie
Two of the older cousins, Jane and Kaye, were fighting over this Oreo pie. They were both determined to be the first to get a slice of this pie. Nothing can be more funny than watching two 20 something year olds madly scrambling for a pie while its still in the box.

Nothing that is, but perhaps watching the shocked look on Kaye's face as she dropped the box on the floor. With the pie still in it....

Or perhaps the shocked look on Jane's face when she dropped her salvaged slice of pie on Kaye's boyfriend...

Its a good thing I really didnt want any of that pie.
***********

One World, One Nation
For the fantasy role playing game community, Everquest is one of the most popular online titles.

Recently in a single night, nearly 200 players spent over 3 hours in order to defeat a creature that was supposed to be unbeatable. This monster was supposed to be so tremendous that no one would dare attack such a thing.

But then three large factions combined their forces and worked together to defeat this foe. The screen shot can be found here.

Most would think this was a waste of time, but then how many of us can say that we've worked with 200 hundred other people in order to accomplish what was supposed to be impossible?

There might be hope for we humans, yet.
***********

Out in The Yard
Here's a film clip called The Money Shot. Definately not safe for work, this short film series was created for internet viewers and gives a humorous view of the adult industry. Too bad there were only seven episodes made.
***********

Joey Lauren Adams was arrested for drunk driving. I wonder if she was Chasing Amy at the time?
***********

Man steals over 200 pairs of panties. Did he look anything like this?



Background Noise
The Remedy by Jason Mraz

The remedy
Is the experience
Its a dangerous laison...
I say the comedy
Is thats its serious...

***************************************
* We keep driving into the night
* Its a late goodbye
* Such a late good bye
***************************************

Oh no! I'm going to lick it so it can be mine! -- Gi during the office gift exchange. She really wanted that big... candle...

Tower View
Cycle Time
The world is fortunate that males dont have the same biological issues that females go thru on a monthly basis. If men had to go thru pms, then there would be a lot more shooting sprees going on.

These past few weeks have been hectic. Working at the office for 10 to 12 hour days plus weekends plus the work around the castle have been causing a large amount of stress. Then there is also getting things for the holiday festivities in the office and the end of year work that "suddenly" came up.

If I had to go thru pms as well, then someone would definately have to get hurt.

I know there are a lot of people that do this sort of thing on a regular basis. Quite frankly, I'm not one of these people and I tend to take it out on those who dare cross my path.

For example...

Road Adventures
The main road that I travel to work on is going thru construction. Its been down to one lane for the past several weeks while crews repave the other lane and lay down drainage pipes.

While I was driving down this road, a blue Mazda Miata flys thru traffic in an attempt to beat everyone prior to the lanes merging to the right.

Its the typical morning game of "I'm In A Rush!"

As the Miata speeds up in the left lane, the driver realizes that he isnt going to make the merge and will have to slow down in order to join in properly. Apparently, this wasnt satisfactory, so he promptly weaves past the orange construction cones and goes thru the closed off lane anyway.

This driver was fortunate that there were no workers there yet, but he realized he just did this manuever in the view of a police officer who was sitting on the side of the road, several feet in front of us.

That was mistake #1.

In an attempt to swing back into the right lane, the Miata tries to get into the right lane by trying to cut off another car; Me.

Mistake #2.

Although the BMW325i isnt a large of vehicle, it is big enough to prevent a tiny convertable from entering the lane. Especially when that driver made sure that the Miata couldnt enter the lane by staying along side of it, blocking its path.

In response, the driver begins yelling at me to get out of his way.

Mistake #3.

Being as irritable as I was, when the driver started screaming at me, I simply stuck my hand out the window and created a symbol. It wasnt the standard middle finger, but instead that of a gun with my hand acting as if I just fired a few rounds into the other driver.

Sure enough the police officer saw all of this. He handled traffic and promptly pointed at the both of us to pull over, waving to have my car first in line.

With a slight smirk on his face, the officer walked up to my window, ticket book in hand. He pointed to the other driver, told him to sit there and, then turned his attention to me...

Officer: "Look, I know he was being a jerk and reckless, but you really can't be doing things like that."
Me: "Yes, sir. I understand that, but he was also risking my life with that little stunt."
Officer: "Yeah, thats true, but then you are risking yours. What you did is a form of road rage and you arent the only one who goes thru that. The next jerk you meet may have a real gun and he will shoot you. Understand?"
Me: "Yes, sir."
Officer; "Consider that a warning. Go on now and drive safely."
Me: "Yes, sir. Thank you sir."

With that, the officer walked over to Miata, and began writing out a ticket. It felt good seeing the angry face of the other driver as I was leaving. I could tell he trying to argue his point when he pointed at my car.

The officer continued writing, shaking his head unsympathetically.

I neglected to inform the officer that this was the third warning for road rage that I've gotten in the past decade. I also didnt mention the firearm that I normally keep within the car.

No sense in causing undo stress for someone else. I've got plenty to go around.
***********

Out in The Yard
Two men arrested for stealing the identities of boy band stars. These two should not only be jailed, but they should be forced to sing all the songs from the New Kids On The Block and the BackStreet Boys.
***********

First reported Segway accident... So how the hell does a driver do a hit and run on a frigging Segway?!
***********

The top 10 signs she is a bitch. Number 11: There is no chance for a three-way.
***********

Background Noise
P5shing Me A-Way by Linkin Park

Reverse psychology
Is failing miserably...
Its so hard to be
Left all alone...

Sorry, I had picked up Live In Texas so I'm stuck in LP mode...

...And with that, Happy Thanksgiving to all!

***************************************
* We keep driving into the night
* Its a late goodbye
* Such a late good bye
***************************************

Me: Mmmm... McRibs...
Neal: Dude, arent ribs supposed to have real meat in them!?
-- lunch time at the office

Tower View
Tis the Season
During the months of November and December, why does everything around the office become an emergency?

Here we are, the final two months of the year, and then the requests for assistance come flying from the woodwork. Every dept that my team normally doesnt work with has begun asking for things that would take weeks to accomplish. But of course they want it tomorrow.

When we tell them that its not possible to do their request, they get upset. "Why cant you do our very simple request? We are only asking for this, that, and the other in very small font printed sideways by tomorrow morning. It has to be done by tomorrow because we are going on vacation..."

Why in the hell should we rush because *YOU* are going on vacation? Remember, an emergency to you means absolutely nothing to me.
***********

Out in The Yard
Woman finds condom in her clam chowder. And she wondered why the clam was so chewy...
***********

Meat for Chinese restaurant is discovered to coyote, not dog. And everyone who ate there feel so much better.
***********

Can women go longer without sex? I dont know about that. Most women I know can always fall back on their friend, Bob. For those who dont know Bob, he's the Battery Operated Boyfriend.
***********

Babies are now being named after cars, products, and even diseases. Hmmm... Porsche Shima... That does have a ring to it.

Wait a moment... There was once a porno star named Porsche Lynn. Maybe this wouldnt be such a good idea after all...
***********

Background Noise
I Melt With You by Modern English

I'll stop the world
And melt with you...
You've seen the difference
And its getting better all the time...

*********************************************
* I will never forget those nights.
* I wonder if it was a dream.
* Remember how you made me crazy?
* Remember how I made you scream?
*********************************************

I'm just saying that its great to see your legs together for once. I mean.. I mean... What I meant was I enjoy your legs separately...
-- Jeff talking to Chrissy, from the UK version of Coupling

Tower View
Parents With Nothing Better To Do
There has been a petition against the US version of Coupling brought on by the Parents Television Council. Apparently it was too graphic for their tastes.

Of course, these are the same people that complain that the FCC isnt doing enough to curb such shows as Friends, Will & Grace, and CSI. They would like a family hour on television just as it was decades ago.

Whats wrong people? I thought sitting with your kids all the time would be family hour; that parents should be there to see what is going on, not just during 8p to 9p.

Well, this group will be happy about one thing.

NBC has announced that Coupling will be cancelled due to poor ratings.

Thats too bad.

Thank God for the BBC and DVD. Heh... The second season is available now.

Another favorite quote: So Sally, Liam has been doing some lovely things to your bottom...
***********

Never Tick Of The Guy With The Badge
My apartment complex is fenced in with a security gate and a code box for residents, but people can still park in the guest parking lot and walk in through the visitor gate. Part of this security is due to the NO SOLICITATIONS rule enforced by the complex.

So when there was a banging on my door yesterday afternoon, I was bit surprised.

First because everyone I knew wouldnt have been able come over because of the code box. Second, and more importantly, because I was taking a nap and the knocking had awoken me.

Loud voices in the entryway of my neighbors and other loud knocks on doors told me that these were solicitors. The multiple sounds on the different floors let me know that there were two of them walking the halls.

When I peeked out the door, they were both off to bother the neighbors.

Aggravated from being woken up as well as realizing that my rent was due, I ran up to the office while it was still safe. As I dropped off the check, I made a comment to the office girl about the solicitors walking on the complex, bugging the hell out of everyone. With that she promptly called security and sent them after the tresspassers.

So I walked back to my apartment only to have the two solicitors coming down a set of stairs and ushering me over to talk to them. Security hadnt caught up with them yet.

The first man began smiling and blared out "Hey big guy! Got a minute? I'm from..."

I interrupted him before the speech could he continue. "Wait! Before you go on, let me advise you that if I go in my home and retrieve the badge, I will have to enforce the No Solicitation rule this private property has. Do we understand each other?"

The second man looked aghast, then looked at the first one, the more senior of the two. At that point the first salesman, now with a confused look on his face, replys "Umm.. Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.." And they both promptly head towards the exit.

This wasnt an abuse of power; just a resident that became very irritated when my home was invaded by unwanted guests. The way I see it, they were lucky my road rage didnt turn on them.
***********

Out in The Yard
Well, well, well... Lance Armstrong and Sandra Bullock have begun seeing each other. But then again, are they really dating? Hmm... I'd do her...
***********

The French Vogue published Loreal ads with half naked 13 year olds girls . I know Europeans have a different perspective of sex, but I didnt realize they catered to the folks in Alabama as well.
***********

Teen sets another teen on fire while they are roof of mall. What? Was the arcade closed?!
***********

Background Noise
Numb by Linkin Park

I've become so numb.
I can feel you there.
I've become so tired,
So much more aware
I'm become this...
All I want to do
Is become more like me
And be less like you...

*********************************************
* I will never forget those nights.
* I wonder if it was a dream.
* Remember how you made me crazy?
* Remember how I made you scream?
*********************************************

Sondra, do you think we can get a couple of plates that dont look as if someone wiped their ass with them?!
-- my comment to the waitress during Friday's dinner. She was grossed out by the dishes as well.

Tower View
Bullets and Bottles
This past weekend, I got to ride with another Ken.

Kenny Labbe of the US Postal Service team rode with myself and another 150 riders for a local charity event. Although Labbe may not be a household name as Lance Armstrong, it was still an honor to ride with a member of the team. Its abit humorous too since Labbe is the really a US postal carrier.

We had so much fun riding through the wind tunnels and the construction sites, but as with any major bicycling event, I ended up losing something. This time it was my temper.

On the 40th mile of the 45 mile ride, I was riding at roughly 17mph and leaned forward to rest my shoulders. As I leaned forward, a soda bottle flew past my field of vision and realized that it had missed the back of my head by a inch or so.

The teen that decided to take a shot at me was riding in a silver Mustang and laughing as the driver sped up. Suddenly found themselves caught in traffic of a two lane road. Then the driver began weaving in and out of traffic when they saw the man on the bike giving chase, trying to get away. At one point, the driver had to hold his lane because of the motorcycle he saw on the side of the road, thinking it was cop.

Unfortunately, when he saw that it was one of the event's safety motorcycles helping a cyclist with a flat, the Mustang cut through traffic again and escaped.

Even though I was up to 27mph and the traffic slowed them down, I knew I couldnt have caught up with the teens. On the other hand I did have a clear line of sight on the car and its passangers. If I had been carrying my pistol, I would have been able to fire the entire ten round clip into the Mustang.

I know it was my road rage flaring again. I know that the right thing to do would have been to get the license plate number, call 911 on my cell phone, and report an attempted battery. The driver's license would have been suspended as well as fines for both the driver and the passenger. That is, if the police bothered to persue the issue, which tends to be ignored unless there is physical harm or a casaulty.

As another cyclist told me, God will get them in the end. Quite frankly, I want first crack at them before Him.

Its too bad that something like this has to mar a good event, which ironically, was a charity for kids.

So parents, please warn your children. If they are inclined to give their lives so willing, then there are a few of us more than willing to take it from them.
***********

Dark By Any Other Color
This week's article from Tongue Tied has reader feedback about how the banning of the movie Song of the South. I didnt realize the main actor, James Baskett, was the first black American to ever win an Academy award.

Apparently people would rather see this movie as a racist media instead of one of the most renowned Disney period piece films.

Thank God I have a copy of the movie laying around.
***********

Out in The Yard
Party! Party! *THUDUNK!* Dude, you fell!
***********

If the pilot thinks you are too fat to fly, perhaps you should take the train.
***********

Fox News wants to sue Fox Broadcasting because of a Simpsons parody. Doh!
***********

Background Noise
The Radio Music Awards is on the television right now. Bleah.

Michael Jackson is giving some speech about a new collaboration going on with various artists. This is along the same lines as We Are The World.

Is it me or does Jackson look like a walking skeleton now? Ewww...

*********************************************
* I will never forget those nights.
* I wonder if it was a dream.
* Remember how you made me crazy?
* Remember how I made you scream?
*********************************************

Jaqueline: Oh wow! You're the 100th guy I've had today!
Me: Was it good for you as it was for me?
-- a conversation with the Target check out girl. What did you expect? She was cute.

Tower View
Sometimes We Have To Let Go
Gov. Jeb Bush orders the feeding tube back to a brain damaged woman.
I'm sorry that this woman's family has to go thru such a thing. And as hard as it is, the husband really did make the right choice in letting her go. Is this being alive or is it being there?

Although I may not agree with the starvation of his brain dead wife, I do agree that she has become a shell that the family is trying to hold onto abit too tightly. By keeping her tied to the withered body, this poor woman is trapped in horric existance.

And now the government has just ensured that she stays there.
***********

Words Words Words
The word "Chic" is now considered a slur against women. Since when?! What bitch thought up this one? *snickers*

It seems that almost every word in the dictionary is harmful to someone. And apparently, no one can take a joke.

They are just words, people. Unless for some reason, you are actually considering yourself that particular name, then what does it really matter?

Hmmm.. granted, I've been known as a motherfu... umm... nevermind... Heh...
***********

Out in The Yard
The worst 10 corporate law suits. I dont know. I figured most of those lawsuits were pretty stupid.
***********

Sierra girls arent hot! And they just figured this out?!
***********

Sucking for Quiznos. If you havent seen this ad, try to avoid it. Have the Quiznos Beefeater. Its much better.
***********

Background Noise
In The End by Linkin Park

All I know
Time is a valuable thing,
Watch it fly by
As the pendulum swings...
Watch it count down
To the end of the day...
The clock ticks life away...

*********************************************
* I will never forget those nights.
* I wonder if it was a dream.
* Remember how you made me crazy?
* Remember how I made you scream?
*********************************************

I always get this from a Freudian slip whenever I see my ex-wife. Instead of saying "Hi! How are you?" I slip and say "You frigging bitch! You've ruined my life!" -- Anonymous

Tower View
Animal Impersonations
Its official. I am a jackass. And I can prove it.

Tonight was the first night in quite some time that I've been able to make it to the gym. After making the usual greetings from people I hadnt seen in awhile, I made it to the row of elliptical machines and proceeded to set up for some cardio work.

On my left, I begin to talking to my friend Casey, who normally isnt there this late. He reminded me that the gym's workout contest has started today so a lot of people were going to working out at odd hours.

The contest is for groups of people who make up teams and is a variation of football. For each workout a person does, they get points. The team with the most points at the end of a week, wins that round. Teams with the most wins meet each other in playoffs, then finally, the finals.

So as Casey and I talk about the contest, I look at the person who is on the elliptical machine on my right.

And there she was. Eleesa.

Eleesa, a very sweet, kind redhead that I had dated many moons ago.

Eleesa, a woman who I basically left wondering for a very long time.

Eleesa, a woman whom I felt so guilty about because I let my life and work get so much in the way that I never even said "We should see other people."

I had broken my own rule about seeing women from work when I went out with Eleesa. But then things had gotten so hectic, a month had passed before I realized that I hadnt even called her. So I didnt say much of anything else since then.

And now, here she was... Standing right next to me...

This had to be handled with tact so I said the first thing that came to mind: "OH SHIT!"

What the hell was I thinking?!

Now I began to ramble apologies, only making matters worse, by making comments such as "Damn! I'm sorry! Damn! I'm a moron! Damn! I'm such a schmuck! Damn!"

After the confused look on Casey's face and the slightly irritated look on Eleesa's face had passed, which seemed like forever, I composed myself enough to say "Look. I'm sorry. Lets start from the beginning. Hi.. How are you?"

So Eleesa and I chatted during our workout. It was like the meaningless conversation that people at the bank may have, but for what it was worth, I did enjoy it. After all, there was no bloodletting involved, mainly mine.

After she left, in the back of my mind, I still felt like one of those cartoons where the man's head becomes that of a jackass.

Its things like this makes me wonder which end of the jackass I really am.
***********

Another Stupid Lawsuit
The company that was embarrassed when it was discovered that their cd copy protection could be easily defeated is now trying to sue the Princeton student that revealed the secret.

SunComm Technologies Inc. wants to sue Alex Haldermann because he disclosed the fact their software installed driver files onto a user's computer. According to SunComm, by releasing the fact that these drivers exist violate the Digital Millennium Copyright Act.

So let me get this straight.

SunComm is wanting to sue Haldermann for saying that these drivers are being installed on a person's machine. But if software asks permission to install, normally thru some kind of license agreement, then how the hell are we supposed to NOT know they exist?

And if they arent asking for permission for the installation, then we definately will look to see what was installed. Its not like their existance could be hidden?! This is especially true for if there were any registry changes!

This kind of crap normally comes from the virus and worm writers.

So what the hell is exactly SunComm thinking?!

Sorry, Anthony Hamilton. I've never heard any of your music and with SunComm's software on your cd, I dont think I ever will.
***********

Out in The Yard
Max Payne 2 is coming out this week! I cant wait! I played Max Payne 1 like a madman when it was first released so I expect good things from the sequel.
***********

Senior citizen men get naked for calender in a local school's fundraiser. Naked old men are fine for school fundraisers, but not naked young women?! Dont they where the real money is at?!
***********

Chinese martial artist attacks burglars, killing two of them. We tried to warn you about those martial artists, but would you listen? Noooooo....
***********

Background Noise
Ventura Highway by America

Ventura Highway
In the sunshine
Where the days are longer
And the nights are stronger
Than moonshine

Gah... I'm getting old.

*********************************************
* I will never forget those nights.
* I wonder if it was a dream.
* Remember how you made me crazy?
* Remember how I made you scream?
*********************************************

PS: Holly, Lil, and Florence - you missed a good one today. Have Dave explain his survival methods for getting protein if you are ever stranded. -- From an email going around work.

Tower View
Survive The Day
Its been a rough couple of weeks. There were days that I was actually putting in 10 to 12 hour days. I thought these people knew I was just there for the paycheck?!

So the qualification for a good day at work? Nobody dies... At least not by my hand.
***********

Musical Hideouts
This article notes that file swappers are gathering together in secured rooms and encrypting their files to prevent any outsiders from telling what they are.

They just figured that out now?!

Since the RIAA is going onto the public areas in attempt to stop the file sharing, the file sharers have made sure that the RIAA cant invade their privacy. With internal, invitation only networks set up that would rival some businesses, file sharing is thriving.

Hmmm.. I wonder if the RIAA has stock in those companies that sell network hardware and software.
***********

And The Vote Goes On
Today, the people of California are voting whether or not, Gov. Gray Davis should be kicked out of his office. All that can be really said to Gray is this:

"Nah Nah Nah.. Nah Nah Nah... Hey Hey Hey... Goodbye..."
***********

Its Not Like We Watch The Show
The Motion Picture Association of America dont want to send screeners to the Oscar committees.

For those that dont know, a "screener" is a copy of a movie that is sent to an Oscar judge to watch and see if they like it. At the bottom of the screen, the words FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION are constantly displayed.

The MPAA believes that screeners allow pirates to make and distribute illegal copies of their movies.

The only problem with this thought is that screeners have been around forever; not just for the Oscars. Screeners are released for video and retail stores so that the owners can preview the product and hopefully buy more copies.

I'm not a fan of the Oscars, but it seems pretty silly to limit the people who judge your film, especially when you have lots of money tied into the project.
***********

Out in The Yard
Speaking of movies, Kevin Smith, the writer and director of Dogma and Clerks, had his wife pose for Playboy. I can see being that put into a script. Hehe..
***********

CD Copy protection defeated by a single key stroke. And they spent how much on this?! Ha!
***********

Here is another dream machine that I will probably never be able to afford.

This is the Carbon Chorus from Bianchi. This bicycle weighs only 17lbs and for a mere $4100, it could be mine... Right.
***********

Background Noise
Sister Golden Hair by America

Well, I aint ready for the alter
But I do agree this time
When a woman sure
Can be a friend of mine.

*********************************************
* I will never forget those nights.
* I wonder if it was a dream.
* Remember how you made me crazy?
* Remember how I made you scream?
*********************************************

I like it rough. -- Gi talking about floor tile.

Tower View
150 Proof
After a few months of training, the MS150 finally came around.

For those that dont know, the Multiple Sclerosis society sponsors the MS 150 bike ride as one of their major fundraiser. Not only is it a worthy cause, but its one of the best sponsored and maintained charity events throughout the nation. For two days, cyclists ride an average of 75 to 85 miles for a total of 150 plus miles.

This was going to be the first time I had ever did this massive ride as well as the furthest I had ever ridden. If figured that at a leisurely pace of 15 mph it would take roughly 6 hours of ride time per day; 7 hours when including breaks and lunch.

And as usual, with any major cycling event, I lost something. This time it was my mind.

A Ride Like Any Other
On the first day, after going 12.5 or so miles, there was a major crash. Someone had cracked on the road and was awaiting an ambulance. Fortunately, it was for more precautionary measures, but it made me think "What the hell am I doing out here with these people?!"

By the 30th mile, the headwind had started gently pushing into the riders. For the road between the third and fourth rest stops, it was flattening them.

The distance between most rest stops averages between 11 and 15 miles. In this case, the it was 9 miles between stops #3 and #4. Why? Because with the trees and the direction, the road became a virtual wind tunnel. And of course, we were going against the wind.

My mind screamed out "What the hell was I thinking?!"

At around the 53 mile mark, I began feeling a slight sting along the back of my right ankle. I left it alone and tried to relax abit more since, according to the directions provided to the riders, the lunch stop was at the 55 mile mark; rest stop #5.

Lunch was a turkey wrap along with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. That was a good mix especially since I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast, had eaten a peanut butter Power Bar at stop #4, was carrying three more peanut butter Power Bars as well as a bag of peanut butter crisps.

My stomach screamed out "What the hell was I thinking?!"

After lunch, the directions noted that it was 10 miles to the final rest stop, and then finally, 15 miles to the end of the day. The total was supposed to have been 79 miles.

The bastards were lying to us.

The Long Way Home
By mile 63, my body is aching; legs begging to stop. I've been impolite by drafting behind a ten person team since leaving the lunch area. There I was, pedalling away, praying they wouldnt say something about how rude it is to draft behind people without asking. Well, that and the fact I kept staring at the arse of the cute Chinese lass who was in front of me.

As we would approach a stop sign, the team would call out the warnings "Stopping! Stopping!" I responded with the first thing that came to mind: "I'm dying! I'm dying!"

According to the directions, it was only two more miles to the final rest stop. When we reached the 65 mile mark, my ankle began screaming out "What the hell was I thinking?!"

The team kept going so I kept going... That is until we got to the bridge.

A small bridge, slight elevation. Rest stop on the other side. Salvation was there. And the team flew like the wind to get to it.

I, on the other hand, would do no flying now. The right ankle was screaming out "Hello!! We dont like this any more!"

My pace slowed, fighting to get the bridge.

A pair of triathletes pass me, smiling, flying. They encouraged me on as they speed by: "Come on! You can do it! The rest stop is on the other side!"

My mind screamed out "F*** YOU!"

After crossing the bridge and making the rest stop, I glanced down at my odometer. 68 miles. The bastards had lied about the mileage...

Into The Home Stretch
Snow Cones never tasted so good than the ones at the final stop. My body whispered a slight "Thank you" as it enjoyed the rest it needed ever so badly.

The team I had followed was leaving so I figured I would follow them again. After all, I got the rest I needed. I even stayed past the typical 10 minutes that I normally do.

I should have stayed longer.

The directions said the end was at 79 miles. At the 73 mile mark, it suddenly occurred to me that the directions could have lied about the ending as well. They wouldnt have done that, would they?

At the 75 mile mark, my ankle is screaming out "F*** YOU!"

At the 77 mile mark, an event volunteer cheers to the passing riders "Way to go! You're in the home stretch! You're almost there!"

My mind screamed out "F*** YOU!" My mouth only whispered it.

At the 79 mile mark, with no finish line in sight, my mouth said it about louder "F***! They lied to us again!"

Finally, after 81 miles, the goal has been reached for day one.



That isnt a smile on my face. It was just stuck in perpetual pain mode.

Phil Liggett, the John Madden of professional bicycling, once said "Cycling is about pain. Its about suffering." If I ever meet the man, someone please remind me to smack him.

And In End, It Doesnt Really Matter
Day one was complete. And so was my ride.

My shoulders ached. My back ached. My bottom ached. My legs ached. My right ankle ached. As it turned out, the ankle was the beginnings of an Achilles strain. No more riding for the rest of the weekend lest do more damage to it.

Reviewing my odometer, I saw the results. After just over a 7 hour day with 5.5 hours on the bicycle itself, the average speed was 18mph with the top speed of 22mph.

And after all, that I cant wait to do this again next year...! Maybe Phil Liggett is onto something after all...
***********

And Now For Something Completely Different
AmaDoofus, the local dj who plays a local film critic on television, said he absolutely hated Underworld.

I knew it was going to be good. Underworld is a great movie with enough action and science fiction to keep fans of both genres happy. Its a very British movie in its language and demeanor, but does alot to make it worth while for American audiences.

The handgun fan within me noticed that Selene, the main character, used sets of Walther P99s and H&K USP Compacts, both of which are personal favorites of mine.

Go see this movie. It will be worth it just to piss off AmaDoofus...
***********

Out in The Yard
The recall is back on track. Thankfully, the judges saw that there was no need to delay the election. I guess Gray couldnt pay off these eleven judges.
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Former Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett is sueing the NFL to let him in the draft. Finish college first, you wanker! Oh wait... You arent wanted at Ohio State any more. Nevermind.
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Profanity has increased on television. No sh*t? Are you fu*king sure?
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Speaking of television, the American version of Coupling starts Thursday. I may have problems liking Susan as a brunette and Sally as a blonde. On the British version, its visa versa.

The show is being taunted as the replacement for Friends. No sh*t? Are you fu*king sure?
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Background Noise
Gin and Juice by Snoop Dog

Rolling down the street
Smoking, smoking...
Sipping on gin and juice...
Laid back...
With my mind on my money
And my money on my mind

*********************************************
* I will never forget those nights.
* I wonder if it was a dream.
* Remember how you made me crazy?
* Remember how I made you scream?
*********************************************

Are you a Mexi-CAN or a Mexi-CAN'T? -- Johnny Depp in Once Upon A Time In Mexico

Tower View
Braveheart
The anniversary of Sept.11 has passed by... Never forget, Never again...
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Insomnia
I've once again made the mistake of letting work and training get in the way of relaxtion, especially when it comes to updating the blog. I wont write a novel again because it takes so darn long. Well, that and Vy told me the she had problems reading it because it was so long...

I dont undertand. What is wrong with reading a really long electronic book at 2am when your tired? Dont we all do that?
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American Flyers
I had to do a 50 mile training ride in order to get ready for the 150 mile charity event coming up soon. It was the first time I had ever did a major event that didnt include me losing a piece of my bicycle or crashing.

Hats off to Josh who rode the way with me. The man kept me laughing while I made him keep the pace. He even does an impressive Gimili impersonation (see Lord of The Rings). See you for the 150, sir!
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The Jerk
A local dj who likes playing film critic panned Once Upon A Time in Mexico saying that it was a really bad movie. This coming from a man who absolutely loved Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star?!

So I knew I had to watch Once Upon A Time. I was going to watch it anway since it was the third in Robert Rodquiez's El Mariachi series. But since "Ama-doofus" hated it, I knew it was going to be good.
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Now And Then
Doombringer keeps getting himself caught in the worst sitations.

For the second weekend in a row, a group of us went to Buca Di Beppo. And for the second weekend in a row, he was taunted for being the "small" one in the group. And for the second time in a row, it wasnt his friends who was teasing him, but rather the waitress. Ouch!

I guess he wont be ordering the small linguine or the small spaghetti for some time.
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Sense and Sensibility
Ben and Jen broke up. All I can say is Thank God! His friends came thru and talked him out of marrying J-Ho... I mean, come on, man! Look at what was in there before you!

The Dead Pool
John Ritter and Johnny Cash passed away recently. Maybe we'll get lucky and J-Ho will be the third "J" to pass away. Nothing personal against Jennifer. She was the only J I could think of... (Ok, Ben. I said it. Where's my $50?)
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The Usual Suspects
RIAA and BMG Music are hailing their copy protection for music cd's. If I actually buy music, I would really like to use it the way I like it. Thats usually in different formats including my own compilation cds and mp3s. So thanks RIAA.. You've given the people another reason for not buying cd's.
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Return Of The Living Dead
A federal court halts the California recall. They believe that there should be more time for things to be in order.

Ok, fine. Give them until November. There is no reason to Gray around until March except to try get him back on the ballot as well as keep him in command.

How much money were they getting for this?! Apparently more than the residents of California are getting...
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Out in The Yard
In his article, Eric Burns takes a candid shot at James Lipton, the host of Inside The Actors Studio. All I can say is Star****er!
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An appeal for an expelled teen who gave oral sex to another student on the bus was dismissed. The girl's mother tried to say that oral sex wasnt listed as unacceptable behavior.

She gave the lad oral sex on the bus?! What did people expect in Beaver county?!
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The Woman's United Soccer Association shut down today due to lack of funds. Damn! No more Brandi Chastain pictures?!

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Background Noise
Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears For Fears

All for freedom
And for pleasure...
Nothing lasts forever...
Everybody wants to rule the world

*********************************************
* I will never forget those nights.
* I wonder if it was a dream.
* Remember how you made me crazy?
* Remember how I made you scream?
*********************************************

No, I wouldnt do it again. Maybe with Madonna. -- Britney on kissing another woman. I'd pay good money to see that again.

Tower View
The Trip
Over the holiday I took a training trip to get ready for this month's 150 mile ride. It wasnt an overall exciting trip, but I was able to put in 75 miles. The highlights of the trip, as strange as this may sound, were:

1) I discovered that other drivers will refuse to let you merge into their lane unless a pistol is waved in their direction.

2) Headwinds really suck, especially when coming from the ocean... at high speed... in both directions... while going over a hill...

3) The heat was so bad that I felt like a senior citzen in France.

4) A pomeranian named Bucky decided to bark at me as I cruised by, then gave chase. I found out the dog's name because the owner kept yelling "Bucky! Watch your back, Bucky!"

Watch his back? The little bastard was lucky he didnt get his miniature head caught in my spokes or my steel cleats in its face.

Woof, woof!
Speaking of dogs, Johnny Depp called the US an aggressive puppy. Although I dont agree with most of Depp's opinions, I did agree about his comment that politicians spent way too much time with the renaming of "French fries" to "Freedom fries."

Despite the difference in opinions, I will admit that the actor does keep his word. Unlike others who have harsh views for the country, say like Tim Robbins or Susan Sarandon, Depp has remembered that if people really dont like the country, they arent forced to stay. They are free free to move elsewhere.

Unlike Robbins and Sarandon, Depp lives in France.
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State Of Denial
Jeffrey Parson, the teen who was arrested for modifying the Blaster worm, spoke out today.

He notes "I understand that the government needs to catch someone for these crimes. I'm not the one they need to get." His mother has even said "My son is not brilliant; he's not genius. Anyone that has any computer knowledge could have done what Jeff did."

Excuse me? Why is there even a dispute about this? If Parson modified the worm and released it, then he's done the crime. He's even admitted to doing it.

Hello?! If you admit to doing the crime, then why are you argueing that you shouldnt be arrested?!
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Out in The Yard
Man steals GPS, then is arrested. I bet he still doesnt know how the cops found him.
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Dont hate Anna because she's beautiful. Hate her? Hell, I'd settle for doing her!
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I got to test out this bike. And its in black! For only $2,200, it could be all mine.


It will be mine. Oh yes. It will be mine.

Background Noise
Jacob's Ladder by Huey Lewis and The News

Step by step,
One by one,
Higher and higher,
I'm climbing Jacob's Ladder...

*********************************************
* I will never forget those nights.
* I wonder if it was a dream.
* Remember how you made me crazy?
* Remember how I made you scream?
*********************************************