We're ghosts, baby! We're timeless!
-- Uncle Wayne from Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
I've been playing alot of 80s music lately, especially while working. And considering all the work as of late, I've been playing several of Men At Work songs.
Ok, nevermind. That sounded abit more ironic when I first thought of it...
The video was fan created so not much there, but the song is still spot on.
Underground by Men At Work
Of course, the Man @ Work must be included.
Overkill by Colin Hay
A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn.
-- Dave Berry
Sure this is a play on words. That's because back when this song first came out, god forbid we would ever hear cursing in our music. Then again, I come from the Age of The Mullet, so what the hell do I know? Heh...
Work has picked up quite a bit and there are just somethings that can't be sung (or even said) at the office. Suffice to say, its probably a little safer at home.
Then again, it depends on who you live with. I would imagine your spouse may take offense to this...
Get The Funk Out by Extreme
Somehow "Oh Fiddlesticks!" doesn't have the same ring to it when playing this game.
-- from a recent conversation
Word of caution: this will be a longer than a normal entry and pretty boring for 98% of the audience. Its a long winded story and I'm doing this so I dont forget.
You have been warned. Heh.
This past weekend, I competed in a Magic The Gathering Standard Constructed tournament. The last time I did something like this was over thirteen years ago. The primary reason for even attending this time was not only in my renewed interest in the game, but because some new friends really wanted to have a strong showing of our group.
The whole experience reminded me of why I loved going to these sort of things in the first place. There is always that nervousness of competing, even if you know everyone there. For such a simple thing, there is always alot of intensity involved.
So here comes the semi-technical stuff.
I've described the game in the past, but for those who arent familiar with Magic The Gathering (or actually have a life), its simply a fancy card game. Combine a variety of 60 cards in order to make a deck. In a tournment setting, you also have to pick another 15 cards to put to the side for special situations.
Think of it like a cooking competition. You have 60 ingredients to combine to make a certain flavour, then another 15 ingredients are set to the side and used for a specific audience.
There are 2 ways to win the game:
Option 1) damage your opponent to force them down from 20 life points to 0
Option 2) force your opponent to use up all their cards until they can not draw any more cards.
A tournament is set up very similiar to how tennis matches are set up. There are several 50 minute rounds with players matched up at random in order to compete in the best 2 out of 3 games. The players that win the most rounds go on to the finals.
Since it had been such a long time for me to have competed in such a serious environment, the card flavour I had chose was the first option. My hope was to beat my foe(s) with as much offense as possible, as fast as possible, and with no defense. I figured if I even won a single match I would be happy. If I made the semi-finals, then my night would be complete.
My first opponent of the night, JD, played a deck where his flavour was the second option. He had all defense, no offense, and things that would add life. Lots of it.
His job was to take as many cards out of my deck as possible and put them in my discard pile. Now that doesnt sound like much, but when he could force me to put anywhere between 13 to 20 cards in my discard pile in a single move, it wouldnt be long before I was dead.
Of course, I didnt realize that until JD forced me to discard over 36 cards in two turns and I lost the first game.
My hands were already shaking at the intensity of the hard fought game, but now, in-between games, players are allowed to swap ingredients out with the other 15 side ingredients. Now I had to sit there and think what the hell I could use to fight such a deck. Not only that, but now the strategy had to change because JD had similiar thoughts. Instead of going for a fast, speedy kill, I figured I would have to be as sneaky as possible.
The biggest idea that dawned on me was that I actually had weapons that I was allowed to use from the discard pile. When JD was forcing me to put cards into my discard pile, I had more toys than I normally would have in my hand.
The second game was more in my favour because I was able to do alot of damage early while my foe's defense took too long to set up. He wasnt able to counter the last 10 points of damage that finished him off.
It didnt matter that this game went as expected. My right leg was bouncing up and down furiously at the sheer excitement.
The third game took longer. Much longer.
Everyone else had finished their match and we only had 20 minutes to finish our match. So there are twenty two other players crowded around to watch this madness that has gone from a cooking contest to a Magic based boxing match.
Punch, counterpunch. Attack, defend.
I hit him for 6 points of damage. He counters and gains 8 points of life.
He forces me to discard 3 cards, I shoot him for 3 points of damage.
I hit him with 10 points of damage, he attempts to prevent the damage. I counter his attempt and force him to take it. Then I add another 5 points for his trouble.
He forces me to discard 13 cards, I fire at him for 4 points of damage.
I hit again for 6 points, he counters it. I sneak in a quick jab for 3 points.
JD fires a haymaker and forces me to discard 20 cards. I shoot for 2 points to get him down to his remaining 7 life points.
The crowd senses the end of the fight because now its a race to the end. Whispers go around like "He's out of cards the next turn" and "He's going to blast him. I know it!"
I am forced to draw the last seven cards in the entire deck so either win now or its over. Ironically enough, the final card is the same counter punch I used earlier to force JD to take damage.
Using weapons from the discard pile and one from my hand, I shoot at him for 8 points of damage. He attempts to prevent it and again, I counter his attempt, praying that he didnt have another counterpunch.
JD stares at his cards for a moment, then extends his hand across the table, and says "Excellent game!" I shake his hand and respond "Damn good game, sir! Thank you so much for an excellent match!"
Small cheers rise up for the both of us as well as for a well played and hard fought game. Then shoulder clapping and more hand shaking.
The entire match was mentally fatiguing, but even before either one of us could get up, the tournament judge said it was time to get on with the next round. We had finished the last game with only a minute to spare. So before I could even catch another breath, it was off to the next opponent.
After that first match, I didnt care what happened for the rest of the night. I did eventually make it to the semi-finals, but that didnt matter as much any more. Its matches like the first one that night which ignited my passion for the whole Magic thing.
People using various ingredients to present different ideas, using them to the best of their ability and fighting to the bitter end. Put everything on the table and do your best, regardless of the outcome.
Your purpose is to make your audience see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel what you felt. Relevant detail, couched in concrete, colorful language, is the best way to recreate the incident as it happened and to picture it for the audience.
-- Dale Carnegie
Part of being human is learning something every day. It may be something small, it may be silly, but we learn. Lord knows that I have way too many useless things rolling around in me head as it is.
Something I never knew before was that the song Cum On Freel The Noize that made Quiet Riot so popular in the 80s was actually a cover from the original artists, Slade.
That floored me since Slade had been around the 70s and I discovered them the same time I found Quiet Riot. I dont know if they ever planned it that way, but if anything, it proves that I'm pretty fraking old. Ha!
No, what it really proves is that even the smallest things we discover can have an impact on us. Decades later we can remember the people that came into our lives, no matter how remote.
Cum On Feel The Noize by Quiet Riot
Heavy metal may not be for everyone although I wouldnt qualify this as true metal considering where it originally came from. So as a balance, here is one is abit lighter and alot more fun.
Run Runaway by Slade
From the heart comes a warning, filled with bloody good cheer. Remember what happened as the 14th draws near!
-- Hanniger from My Bloody Valentine (1981)
Hopefully everyone had a good Valentine's Day. Be sure not to eat too much chocolate and candy, but if you do, be sure to brush your teeth. Or at least save some of that candy for the rest of us, you greedy sods. Ha!
Here is a little something for those romantic types.
Ok, so I may not be the most romantic lad around, but I do have my moments. Or so I've been told. Well, in this case, just sing along with me...
Hole Hearted by Extreme
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because after five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, "You know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty."
-- Jeff Foxworthy
I'm not too fond of state fairs, but I've cycled with some pretty strange characters. I could probably even include myself in the mix. So as this weekend is the official start of training season, here is a little something to get the mind (and wheels) rolling.
Kings And Queens by 30 Seconds To Mars
Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.
-- Michael Corleone from The Godfather: Part III
As if I dont have enough time in the day, somehow, some way, I've been pulled back into the thrall of Magic The Gathering. If you've never heard of the game, its basically a card game that is a mix of chess, poker, and Dungeons & Dragons. Which explains how I got trapped into this. Again.
Last week, during a user testing session, I found out a couple of the customers we were working with had gone to high-school with my brother and that he had taught them how to play Magic. I found it ironic since I had taught him how to play. There was even a time that we were competing in the national amateur ranks.
Not only I do feel really old now, I found myself actually missing the game. It has always been fun and imaginative. To make matters worse, the guys are talking about how they got back into it last year. Next thing I know, I am being talked into joining them the next day during lunch for a few quick games.
Thats when Magic The Addiction resurfaced. I spent that night going thru the boxes of cards of all the old cards I had, modifying the older game decks a little bit, reviewing what was allowed nowadays, and even realizing I had a few boxes of cards still unopened. Then there was the enjoyment of the new artwork and all the little toys that the cards had become. The possibilities were endless. Again.
Now the one major downside to this game, other than the time factor, is the cost. A booster pack of 15 cards run an average of $4 per pack. During the height of playing days, it wasnt uncommon to buy an entire box of 36 packs. And since the cards are released as sets, it wasnt uncommon to buy a box (or more) per set. Then there were the single cards that cost as much as baseball cards. Oh and of course, there were the tournaments and conventions. Its a seriously expensive habit which is why the game garnered the nickname Paper Crack.
When the weekend rolled around, I knew I was going to go shopping for some of the updated versions of the cards. I swore that I wouldnt do what I had done in the past. I swore that I wouldnt go and buy a box of each set. I swore I would be good and I was.
I only bought mix of the last few sets. Granted, I ended up getting 25 packs, but nevermind that. It was still much less than what I used to get.
So yes, now I can say that I've got your mana load right here.
Nevermind. That joke still sounds lame, even a decade later
You like a close shave, don't you?
-- Pussy Galore from Goldfinger
How about a little accoustic action to start the week? This is an older song, but just as fun. If this ever made to Rock Band, I would definately have to play it.
Golden Touch by Razorlight
Imagination is the voice of daring.
-- Henry Miller
Damn you Sirius XM. Now I've got this stuck in my brain. Not like there was much there to begin with.
Rnw@Y by Linkin Park
One of the most important tasks of a manager is to eliminate his people's excuses for failure.
-- Robert Townsend
We all get stuck with work that we really dont want to do. You can whine and complain about it or you can just do it.
I am a firm believer that you really should do it.
Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.
-- Martin Luther King Jr.
It's an old song and the time described is incorrect, but its still as powerful as it was back then.
Pride (In The Name Of Love) by U2
We find that advertising works the way the grass grows. You can never see it, but every week you have to mow the lawn.
-- Andy Tarshis
Ever need your yard worked on? Call this guy...
Or you can be like me...
You can't turn back the clock but you can wind it up again.
-- Bonnie Prudden
Seems time has been going by, hasnt it? Nevermind the new year's bit, but rather with everything going on around us.
One of the kids, an intern, moved on to a new job when it seemed like yesterday when she started with the us. A co-worker recently mentioned that we practically grew up here. More music that I'm used to hearing has been playing on the "oldies" stations.
Even movies I watched in their first run are now called classics. It didnt even occur to me that The Fugitive came out in 1993. Its been nearly ten years since Gladiator came out.
Maybe I'm just feeling nostalgic, especially when Hulu made Ralph Bakshi's American Pop available. This movie came out in the 80s and still some of the best animation around.
Monique: He keeps putting his testicles all over me.
Lane: Excuse me?
-- from Better Off Dead
Languages have always been an interest to me especially by women with their thick accents. Take this for example...
Baby Baby Baby by Make The Girl Dance
Of course there is the sequel...
Ok, maybe that wasnt such a great idea.
You gave birth to a freak of nature. Doesn't mean it's a good idea to treat him like one.
-- House from House M.D.
This is just a pretext in order to play another great Kate Isitt video, not to mention the fact I wouldnt mind accompanying her to her happy place. Bwahaha...!
Wilson: Tim, are you familiar with the I-Ching?
Tim: Sure. The itching, the scratching, the chafing. That's why I switched to boxers, my friend.
-- from Home Improvement
As you can tell, I've finally gotten around to actually changing the Castle. We all need abit of change in our lives and even the littest things can be helpful. Its either that or else become stagnant.
Next will come the memory loss...
...Sounds just like me. Heh.
Anyone can achieve their fullest potential. Who we are might be predetermined, but the paths we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of other to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed, but it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men, and dies as a single one.
-- McGee from NCIS
So we gather once more my friends. To start anew. March forward and conquer. It's a brave new world.
This Is War by 30 Seconds To Mars
Nothing is done entirely for nothing. Nothing is wasted. You are older, and you have made decisions, and you are not the fox you were yesterday. Take what you have learned and move on.
-- from The Dream Hunters by Neil Gaiman
So ends another year. We go thru our lives quickly it seems, but in everything we do, its been a learning experience. Even an adventure. And no matter the time or place, they are the days that create our memories.
These Are The Days by 10,000 Maniacs
Of course we have a smile at the end of this day.
Happy New Year to all of you. Cheers, mates! Stay safe and we'll see you next year.
Lucy: Do you really think Santa Claus is going to bring you something Mom doesn't want you to have?
Rerun: Oohhh... Supreme Court stuff...
-- from I Want A Dog For Christmas, Charlie Brown
I still have the urge to play Ding Fries Are Done so I must be in the seasonal spirit. I dont know why since I'm actually sick of the overall madness that has been going on all week. Every time I've gone by the mall, I've almost got hit by another car either not paying attention or too much of a fraking rush to realize they just ran the red light.
Suffice it to say, Merry Frickin Christmas. Stay safe out there.
And to all, a good night.
You make 'em, I amuse 'em.
-- Dr. Seuss
I will admit that I hurt myself laughing at this. I dont know why. I just did.
Maybe its just the season that makes it way too damn easy to laugh at everything.
Aye, its definately the season.
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