Castle Shima

Music is the harmonious voice of creation; an echo of the invisible world.
-- Giuseppe Mazzini

::: Tower View :::
Nothing Is Real
Living Colour has always been a favourite band of mine. When I heard that their song Cult of Personality is going to be on Guitar Hero 3, I went into overdrive and started looking up their videos.

Here is another great song from them called Type
.
**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

Duty is the great business of a sea officer; all private considerations must give way to it, however painful it may be.
-- Lord Horatio Nelson

::: Tower View :::
Surviving The Day
During the war against Napoleon, when Admiral Nelson wanted to know how many people were dead, he would ask, "What's the butcher's bill for today?"

I felt the same way recently.

Recently, my company has gone through some layoffs. Out of the 80 people released from the Information Technology (IT) division, my dept contained 30 of those people. There were 3 out of my own area; one whom reported to me.

It felt strange because I had forgotten that it was going to happen. We had be warned that it was coming, but it been nearly a decade since something like this even occurred.

One by one, people were getting phone calls to walk over to a conference room in the main building so that they would be given the news that they had just lost their job.

A few of us even had the idea of walking over to the building, go to a conference room on a different floor, then call someone we knew. If they were brave enough to answer, we would just ask them to look up our calendar.

Funny? Yes. Mean? Absolutely. Cruel? Perhaps.

What would have been really cruel would be to lose your job, then realize, you cant afford to lose it. That you live from check to check and barely surviving.

I would hate for anyone to lose their job, but would hate even more for them to be put in that situation.

Lord knows that I am already in that predicament.
**********

Shadow of the Day

**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill.
-- Blade

::: Tower View :::
I'm No Hero

**********

****************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain whats lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
****************************************

Hazel: Lord Frith, I know you've looked after us well, and its wrong to ask even more of you. But my people are in terrible danger, and so I would like to make a bargain with you. My life in return for theirs.
Frith: There is not a day or night that a doe offers her life for her kittens. Or some honest captain of Owsla, his life for his chief. But there is no bargain. What is, is what must be.
-- from Watership Down

::: Tower View :::
For Fuck's Sake
There are just some days that you just need to say "fuck it." That no matter what happens, you can do no right and only damage and hurt follow in your wake.



If you've never seen the movie Snatch, I highly recommend it. Not only is there alot of swearing, which I'm really good at, but the story is funny as hell.
**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

Like most things, I am nothing.
-- Li Mu Bai from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

::: Tower View :::
This World Is Only Going To Break Your Heart
Wicked Game by H.I.M


**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

Once you have accepted your destiny, nothing can alter it unless time flows backwards, snow falls in the spring, and the dead come back to life.
-- Goddess Manshen from The Promise

::: Tower View :::
I'm Waiting For My Real Life To Begin
The song is originally from Colin Hay of Men at Work fame. This version from the tv show Scrubs was really well done.


**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

Keep the sand out of your weapons. Keep those actions clear. I'll see you on the beach.
-- Capt. Miller from Saving Private Ryan

::: Tower View :::
Son of a Beach
Every year I participate in the MS150, which is the main fundraiser for the Multiple Sclerosis Society. Bicyclists from around the area will ride either 150 miles or 150 km (120 miles) during the course of two days in order raise money to fight MS.

Since the route goes along the ocean following the beach line, the view is actually quite good. It makes up for the series of bridges that have to be climbed in order to get to the finish line on both days.

The downside is that for our region, its not 150 miles, but rather 164 miles. Bastards.

Granted, this year's MS150 would be exceptional since its the first time that Team Blue (formerly the KBT team) would be corporately sponsored and we would have money to spend on things such as a support vehicle, a corporate recovery tent, and of all things, food.


So with apologies to Peter King...

The Ten Things I Think I Know About The MS150, 2007 edition
1) Whose idea was it to have us ride during a damn monsoon? Day 1 consisted of 20mph winds and that was the easy day. Day 2 had 30mph winds and we had to finish the last 25 miles going straight into it.

2) Ever been to the beach during high winds? Its like being sandblasted; the damn stuff cuts into everything, including you. Paint has actually been taken off my bicycle. On the good side, it works great for removing that extra skin.

3) There was no shortage of fluids this year. It would have been preferred to drink the water as opposed to wearing it as the rain continously poured down on us. Add the wind and the rain actually hurt.

4) Another Team Blue rider decided he wanted a challenge so he wrecked his bike on a wet bridge grate. This was just so he could convert his very expensive bike to a single speed and suffer thru the last 15 miles of Day 1.

5) All season, after putting in almost 1,500 miles and not a single major injury, what happens? My knee begins to ache after the first 40 miles on Day 1. After 50 miles, I had a limp. After 60, every pedal stroke actually hurt. I ended up dropping from an average of 20mph to 15mph and consuming nearly a bottle of Advil. Day 2 was more annoying when my average speed dropped to 10mph because of the damn winds.

6) I wasnt the only victim to injury. In separate incident, a fellow Team Blue rider was injured when his razor jumped up out of his shaving kit bag and bit him on the finger.

7) The biggest battle on day 1: Watching a Team Blue rider attempt to circumvent the fence that blocked his way to lunch. Unfortunately the Fence won the match 2 - 0 and Big G was forced to walk the long way around to get his turkey wrap.

8) At the end of Day 1, we had real burgers for the second lunch. At the end of Day 2, we had more burgers. Guess what I had for lunch yesterday and today?

9) For dinner, a few of us skipped the typical sponsored spaghetti dinner and went to the local Japanese steak house. We had a Spainaird chef cook our Japanese dinner over the teppanyaki grill while salsa music played in the background. All this while another chef, Japanese in heritage, screeched thru a very bad Engrish version of Happy Birthday to another patron. Diversity indeed.

10) Mental note to self: Next year, at the end of the day 2, even after battling high winds, be sure to pick up my finish line medal before flopping down on the ground, grabbing the knee in pain, and whimpering like a little girl. There is nothing like having to limp over to the elderly woman in a wheelchair who is stricken with MS as she hands you your medal. You come to the realization that what you went thru is nothing compared to what she has gone thru.

With that being said, its time to start winter training.
**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

Sometimes the people whom we've know for only a short amount of time have a bigger impact on us than those we've known forever.
-- Anonymous quote

::: Tower View :::
Pure Elegence
There are days that smiles are few and far between. We rely on others to bring that simple joy to us. Hope this brings you one.


**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

HOPELESS ROMANTIC seeks filthy whore.
-- seen on a t-shirt

::: Tower View :::
The Best Of You

**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

Death: So. Are you coming?
Hazel: I dont suppose I have any choice.
Death: No. I'm afraid you really don't.
-- from Death: The Time Of Your Life by Neil Gaiman

::: Tower View :::
What Would You Say?
This is absolutely brilliant. If we could only live our own lives int this way.
Hat tip to Alphabunny for this.



**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

Anna: Every time I think about this, I'm going to regret it!
William: Oh. Hm. Every time I think about this, I would of have been... happy...
-- from Notting Hill

::: Tower View :::
Filling The Box
I've been procrastinating again. In everything.

At least I finally got around in filling the memory box. Again. I'm really getting tired of doing this, but I collect way too many things.

Pictures of the Italian waterline, fountains, ducks, docks, raves, waves, bamboo gardens, and jewelry were the first to go in. Images of charity walks, the land of Oz, and pianos were put in as well. Even this silly picture of a sponge in a microwave went inside. I had that laying around for sometime.

How I got talked into more rave and trance cds, I will never know, but in they went along with the rest.

Then again, I have no idea why I have these pages on tiramisu, salads, iced coffee, and iced teas. I cant cook for shite and have no explanation for them.

The artwork for tattoo ideas were folded up and had to be slid into the side of the box. I'm amazed the damned things even fit.

The keychains with the toy football and toy soccer ball were slid inside the folds of the fleece blanket I used to keep out. Guess all three arent really necessary any more.

So I put this last set on the top of the stack and closed the box. Back into the recesses of the closet this goes until next time.

I really need to stop being such a packrat. Then again, its just hard to let go of some things.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
The Man Who Sold The World by Nirvana

For years and years I roamed
I gazed a gazely stare.
We walked a million hills.
I must have died alone
A long, long time ago.
Who knows?
Not me.
We never lost control.
You're face to face
With the man who sold the world.
**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

I have always wanted to go home with you. That will not happen now.
-- Broken Sword from Hero

::: Tower View :::
Giving The Finger

You Are the Index Finger

You are ambitious, driven, and capable. You aren't afraid to take responsibility for your actions - or place the blame on whoever deserves it. You are honest, free thinking, and objective. You see things in your own way - and you aren't afraid to let everyone know about it. You get along well with: The Thumb Stay away from: The Ring Finger

I always figured I was the middle finger.
**********

************************************************
I cannot explain to you
In anything I say or do
But hope the actions
Speak the words they can
************************************************

She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen
-- Lloyd from Say Anything

::: Tower View :::
Meme for Whowho
Karrie Lyne tagged me for the 8 Things You May Not Know About Me list. Is this what it feels like when the cow gets the number attached to the ear?

This isnt anything new to anyone who really knows me. I am pretty much an open book.

1) I suffer from road rage. Well, not necessarily suffer. More like inflict it.

2) After every MS150 bicycle ride, I reward myself with something that I had always wanted to do. The first 2 were tattoos and the last one was an ear piercing.

3) My first tattoo is the Japanese Kanji for "Hero." The second is a dragon that surrounds the first. They look like they are one large tattoo.

4) At age 17, I went to party and had an extremely large amount of alcohol that night. When I woke up in my bed the next morning, I had no idea how I had gotten there. Afterwards, I didnt touch alcohol for over 10 years.

5) I used to compete in martial arts fighting. I think I would like to compete again.

6) I am an avid movie watcher, especially for Hong Kong martial art and action films.

7) I tend to be a workaholic.

8) Someone once told me that I prefer living in pain. I think they were correct in that assessment.

I wont tag anyone with this. I'm actually of the few folks that havent done this before.
**********

************************************************
I cannot explain to you
In anything I say or do
But hope the actions
Speak the words they can
************************************************

Jeff: They're onto us! They know exactly where we are!
Steve: Jeff, she's my girlfriend. She already knows where I live.
Jeff: Ex-girlfriend.
Steve: Which part of your brain thought that was a good thing to say?!
-- from Coupling

::: Tower View :::
Watch Here
I cant embed Avril Lavigne's video for When You're Gone, but its definately worth the viewing.

I found the segment of the widower touching. Guess I'm just a sentimental old sod.
**********

************************************************
I cannot explain to you
In anything I say or do
But hope the actions
Speak the words they can
************************************************

Ree: That would mean no hiking, camping, fishing, sailing, or sex.
Me: I can hear it now. "Medic! Man down! Get him up! Get him up!"
-- from a recent conversation

::: Tower View :::
Never Mess With The Guy With The Mic
Hat tip to TmCamp for this little gem. Kevin Smith rules!


**********

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

JW: Damn man. You're playing like a madman. What have you been taking?
Me: Its the steroids.
-- from this week's soccer match

::: Tower View :::
I'm Rated What?!
Hat tip to Starfury for this little gem.



I got this for the words pain and hurt.

Fuck that. I thought I would have been rated XXX.
**********

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

Me: Waiting to see if Geoff decides to suck the tip or not
-- from a recent conversation

::: Tower View :::
The Space Between
I didnt realize that its been over a month since I've updated this thing. Geezus, its been hectic.

My boss, Hem, had taken some time off again so I was watching the shop. And of course the first day he was gone, everything went to hell.

I've been able to ride every so often. The heat has been pretty unbearable, but still fun overall. I cant complain.

Well, I could, but whats the point of it all, hm?


At least they know how to keep cool.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Down With The Sickness by Disturbed

Open up your hate
And let it flow into me
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up come on get down with the sickness
Madness has now come over me

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

Oh yeah. Thats you. Dont need anything. Dont need anyone. Just you and your stupid job selling shrimp chips.
-- Jessica from Kiss of the Dragon

::: Tower View :::
Feels Like I'm Dying Here
The cycling season has been relatively quiet these past few weeks, but just enough to make me amiss in my updates. (Well that and I'm just a lazy bastard. I need to update the archives too. I didnt realize the link up top was broken.)

I recently rode a charity event that was 61 miles thru a wind storm. It not only caused severe cramps as we battled thru it, but there were experienced riders that had to get off their bike lest be blown over a bridge.

Those of us that normally average 17mph had to fight to keep 13mph. There were times where we dropped to 9mph.

And no matter how much it hurt, you kept going.


Then there was another charity ride that was done during what was might as well had been a monsoon.

Riding thru rain is one thing, but this downpour soaked my clothes within 5 minutes of just getting out of the Jeep. The socks were absolutely soaked before I even got my feet in the cleats.

And even then, it was a great ride. Wind and rain soaking thru to your bones. The water continuously stinging your eyes. The pain just drives you on.


Pedal. Keep pedaling. Legs are hurting. Pedal more. Back is sore. Pedal. Just pedal.

Maybe it really is all about the suffering.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Bleed It Out by Linkin Park

Death is rolling in every verse
Candy paint on his brand new hearse
Cant contain him
He knows he works
Fuck this hurts
I wont lie
Doesnt matter how hard I try
Half the words dont mean a thing
And I know I wont be satisfied

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

Harry: You were going to be a gymnast.
Sally: A journalist.
Harry: Right, that's what I said.
-- from When Harry Met Sally

::: Tower View :::
The Real Horror
As any man will attest to, these are the really scary movies that we see.

When Harry Met Sally


Sleepless In Seattle

**********

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young
-- anonymous quote

::: Tower View :::
Happy Mother's Day
Hope you mothers had a good day as well as you motherfu... errr... Anyways, Happy Mother's Day!

A Monkey Can Do Your Job
Hat tip to AlphaBunny for this little gem.

**********

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************