Castle Shima

I come in peace. I didnt bring artillery. But I am pleading with you with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I'll kill you all.
-- Lt. General James Mattis, USMC

We all need help every so often, especially when starting on something new. Many speakers make a fortune motivating others to do things they normally wouldnt do themselves. R. Lee Ermey has always been one of my favorite speakers. Here is a sample of his good work. Just dont play it in front of the kids (NSFW).



The only drawback with this sort of thing is that when a lad gets beat up enough, he either ends up going mad or blowing his brains out in the bathroom. Sometimes both.

If you feel like singing along: Don't.
-- James Taylor

We all have those moments where we embarass ourselves. Most of mine tend to come up when I'm singing and thats because someone is inevitably wiping the blood from their ears. Ha!

Last week it was in the office when an intern could hear me singing In The End quietly to myself. From a row away.

This week it was in the car while singing this song.

Wonderwall by Oasis


The unplugged version seemed to fit this occasion. Prior to the show being taped, lead singer Liam Gallagher bowed out, citing a "sore throat." His brother and lead guitar, Noel, took over the singing duties and performed absolutely brilliantly.

Unlike the lad who sang this tune while sitting at a red light, with the windows wide open, and the group of girls in the next car.

Let no one weep for me, or celebrate my funeral with mourning; for I still live, as I pass to and fro through the mouths of men.
-- Quintus Ennius

You can only be sad for so long. It cant rain all the time. So smile and do a little dance. Here, lets help you along the way.

Motown Philly by Boys II Men

Whatever the struggle, continue the climb. It may be only one step to the summit.
-- Diane Westlake

Its been hectic again so I havent been doing the updates like I'm supposed to do. Despite all the craziness and headaches, it was nothing compared to what others have been going through. Last week, the Fat Cyclist's beloved wife, Susan, passed away. Her battle with cancer was so inspiring and had touched so many people. Even some guy named Lance.

Our condolences go out to Fatty's family and friends. I may never be eloquent as others, but I can say that you will get to be with her again soon, sir.

Until that time comes, we will continue to fight like Susan. The battle isnt done yet. Allez Fatty! Win!

Here lies one whose name was writ in water.
-- John Keats

There are just some days when you want to play the music loud and proud. So mix it up and enjoy yourselves.

Remember The Name by Fort Minor

Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte

I've lost my frigging mind, not that its any surprise to anyone. More evidence of this lies in the new multi-sport bicycle I bought. Otherwise known as a time-trial or triathlon bike, it requires the rider to be leaning more forward on the handlebars to be in a more aerodynamic postion.



Its not that I plan on doing any time trials or triathlons in any near future, but I wanted to try something a little different. After all, my off-road cycling skills are already pretty well renown. Thats because I've hit almost every fracking tree at the local park and could be heard swearing from miles away. I cant even remember if I was banned from there for two years or three.

Anyways, it was a chance to diversify and improve what little skill I have. well, that and I made the mistake of talking to the same bike shop guy who sold me my last four bikes. I might as well call him my dealer.

When he knocked off another 20% from Quintana Roo's Seduza, it felt like giving crack to a recovering addict. If I had the chance, I probably would have snorted this thing up my nose somehow.



So now here I am with yet another bicycle in the house. Nevermind that she is one of the lightest bikes I've ever owned. Nevermind that she is one of the fastest bikes I've had. And nevermind that she rides like an absolute dream. The other four bikes are plotting my death out of jealousy. I can hear them.

As I did my first ride, this song came on my mp3 player and everything just fell into place.



How ironic.

That's what I love about Torchwood. By day, you're chasing the scum of the universe. Come midnight, you're the wedding fairy.
-- Ianto from Torchwood: Something Borrowed

I dont know about you lot, but I found Torchwood: Children of Earth absolutely frigging brilliant. Season two was fairly weak in my humble opinion, so this season brings the series back to the way it was meant to be. After watching this on BBC America, I've been craving more. Thankfully, the dvd comes out this Tuesday.



Now if we can only convince BBC to continue on with another season.

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
-- Steven Wright

Its been a pretty hectic week. With everything going on, its been constant motion. Just go, go, go. Continuously climbing up that hill. Pedal, pedal, pedal.

So in this brief moment of quiet, here is a little something that kept creeping into my mind through this maddening time.

Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel


I'm glad I'm not the only guy that sings while riding a bicycle. Heh.

I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen.
-- Mitch Hedberg

This year's Tour de France really has been one of the more exciting one over the years. Its definately something to look forward to as the race goes on.

Of course, the Versus channel is milking this as much as possible. Before the name change, the channel was OLN, the Outdoor Life Network. Even then, the joke was OLN actually stood for the Only Lance Network. Ha!

And so it still continues where Versus has been showing repeats of Tours gone past. One of those Tours that always comes to mind is the huge crash Joseba Beloki had six years ago to this day. Every time I watch it, the footage just makes me cringe just as much as it did when I first watched it back then. If you listen carefully, you can hear Beloki's screams as the support crew check on him.



The crash was so bad that Beloki's femur broke in two places and pretty much finished his career as a professional racer.

So when you're on the road, take care out there, even if you arent a professional. After all, we just want to ride our bicycles.

I lost some time once. It's always in the last place you look for it.
-- Neil Gaiman

The Team Time Trial for the Tour de France is on at the moment and as always, I'm loving it. For those that dont follow the sport, the Team Time Trial has the nine man team get from point A to point B as fast as possible. The team that gets there in the fastest time wins the day.

And if you fall behind or crash, your team has no qualms about leaving your arse behind. Thats because the clock stops when the fifth man crosses the finish line.

With everyone trying to stay together and flying down the road, its not uncommon for riders to crash. Case in point, the team of Bouygues Telecom just had four guys crash while going around a sharp corner. Ow ow ow...

On another note, here are four guys who have survived together over the years.

Dani California by The Red Hot Chili Peppers


Time just seems to fly for all of us, doesnt it?

This is not a war for the independence of one or two colonies, but for the independence of one nation.
-- Colonel Burwell from The Patriot

Tomorrow is the Fourth of July, the day where we Americans celebrate our freedom. Never forget that freedom isnt free. Somehow, somewhere, someone paid the price for our freedom. And that is what we should remember. That is something I will never forget.

So not only will I be celebrating that, I will also be celebrating the start of the Tour de France. Lance Armstrong is back in the race although he has already made it known that he is there to help out his team, not for himself. Not this time.

I recalled an ad Armstrong did back when he was the U.S. Postal team. The imagery always made me think that he wasnt riding for himself, but rather for the cause.



And somewhere along the lines, I had forgotten what I told myself at the beginning of the year: Just Do It.

Thanks for the reminder, Lance.

There's no love in your violence.
-- Kakihara from Ichi The Killer

An entry from today's Gizmodo caught my eye. The trailer for RoboGeisha is definately one of those movies that I've been missing out on. Blood, violence, blood, silliness, blood, and mayhem are pretty much standard in most Japanese horror or gore flicks.

Think of the many Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriquez films that are available nowadays. From Dusk Till Dawn, Planet Terror, and Kill Bill to name a few. Now put those movies on crack and you have Japanese minds such as Takashi Miike and Noboru Iguchi.

Because sane people dont have the imagination to make films such as these. WARNING: These are NSFW. They probably arent for weak stomachs either.

RoboGeisha


Machine Girl


I had seen this special before I saw the movie, but I definately have to agree with everyone's assessment of Takashi Miike's Audition. When I finally got to watch it, I was cringing madly while screaming "Holy shite! Holy shite!"



Is it no wonder so many American film-makers are remaking Japanese films?

Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
-- The Joker from Batman

Earlier, one of the few Neil Young songs I actually like came on while I was busy stuffing my face. I think the only reason I like it is because its probably the only Young song I can sing without butchering it too badly.

Harvest Moon by Neil Young


No, I'm wrong. I still butcher the hell out of it.

At least its one of those good old fashioned mellow songs that lasts the test of time as well as my pathetic attempts to sing.

The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.
-- James Taylor

Death has been in news alot lately. David Carradine. Iran. Ed McMahon. Iran. Farrah Fawcett. Ir.. Wait! Michael Jackson?!

Yes, the King of Pop died today. Despite his truly strange antics, he did leave an imprint on the music industry and the world. His influence spanned across people and artists for generations.

There were video games made after him. His videos became a standard for future artists. Does anyone remember Captain Eo? How about the Filipino prison dance crew that danced to Thriller? The cover of Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm is absolutely brilliant. The man became a parody for shows such as Mad TV and Family Guy. Jackson even played a part in the career of one Wierd Al Yankovic, who became well known after making parodies such as Eat It and Fat.

Lets face it. He'll be up there in the tabloids and soon, he will be sighted in a 7-Eleven grabbing a Slushee with Elvis. Then Vegas will be over-run with Michael impersonators, doing weddings and bar mitzvahs.

So instead of the typical tribute song, I opted for something slightly different. Here is a little music reflecting Jackson's influence, not only in the lyrics, but also in the fact that same guy, Wierd Al, directed the video.

Rockin' The Suburbs by Ben Folds


Tomorrow, it will be back to more serious business such as Iran and Korea. For now, its just a trip down memory lane and our little point in history.

Oh Ned, I'm scared. I'm dying. Don't tell nobody. Don't tell my kids, none of the things I done, hear me?
-- william Munny from Unforgiven

Today is Father's Day and while my own father and I dont have a brilliant relationship, he is still the patriarch of the family. I couldnt come up with any great ideas what to get him for this obvious Hallmark sort of holiday.

I thought perhaps this would help.



Well that would never happen so at least he got a consolation prize: a nice paper card. There wasnt much to say in it though.

"Hey Dad. What do you think about your son now?"

Take A Picture by Filter


At least, I included the envelope.

Wendy: Is Mike Hunt here? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?
Meat: Everybody in town, from what I hear.
-- from Porky's

Today was one of those interesting days. Waking up at 5a and its already over 80 degrees means its going to make for long, hot day. The first MS training ride started at 7:30a and by then, it had already climbed to nearly 90. So when you are pedaling at 20mph, the wind is a blessing and a curse.

Still, it was damn good ride, especially when several of the teams formed large pacelines along the road. Being in a line with 10 to 15 riders makes a huge difference.

Well, that and there was beer at the end of the ride. Beer before 11a. What a concept.



So then add on the Asian Pride Day that was going on downtown. The heat has gotten to 100 by this point and what do you do? You stand out in an open venue with little shade and stand around booths.

I felt bad for the people working the booths. They were sweating up a storm and couldnt really do anything about it. A few of them got even with the tourists though.

They made us stand in line while we waited for the most excellent food, especially for the smoked pig. And yes, thats a full cooked pig. Doesnt it look good?



It tasted really good too.


So no matter how much we complained about the heat, it was nothing to what he felt.

I remember how hard it was when I realized my father was a son of a bitch. I can't imagine what it must be like when you realize you raised one.
-- Jack McCoy from Law and Order

Gran Torino is an absolutely brilliant film. It reminded me of so many things on different levels: how I see my own family, my heritage, today's youth, the generation gaps.

I highly recommend this movie, especially if you arent Asian. Gran Torino is not the action-oriented film that the ads make it appear. Its definately alot more deeper than that.

Gran Torino by Jamie Cullem


Time to man up.

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
-- Stephen Wright

Mermaid and I were talking yesterday and from what we've gathered, she is a mime screamer, while her husband does his best work inside the mime box. So to speak.

I have no idea where I am going with this, but after I thought about it more, this song kept popping into my head.

Voices Carry by Til Tuesday


Thats it. I'm definately brain damaged.

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.
-- Shakespeare

I feel bad for anyone who sits by me at the office the past few days. I've been listening to Robert Schimmel and not doing a very good job of keeping the laughter down. Its not uncommon to get the strange look from passerbys as I snicker away, making the vain attempt to get work done.

Schimmel is definately not for the faint of heart or those that cant take a joke. The video is NSFW and make sure the kids are asleep.



Anyone want a popsicle?

I have lived long enough to satisfy both nature and glory.
-- Julius Caesar

Oh. My. God. When I saw this picture, I broke out laughing like a madman. Granted, I do that all the time, but nevermind that.

This reminded me of days gone by, when I had a car where the windows didnt come down, and our group of friends finished having Mongolian bbq for dinner. I was at a point in my life where I had never seen a grown man claw at a window furiously, trying to escape a moving vehicle, screaming madly "Oh dear God! Open a window! Open a window!"



Oh those were the days.

At some point later on, I'll have to tell you the story about Mountasia. Ha!