Amy wouldnt be an organ donor. That's because if she had a hangnail, her husband would be screaming "For God's sake, dont let her suffer! Pull the plug! Pull the plug!"
-- Robbie during a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
State Side Of Things
Now the case in question is a civil one. If we believed that the respondent, Ronnie, would most likely offend again, then he would be forced back to a civil committment center for treatment. This would be a medium security facility where he stay until he finished his mandatory treatment.
As a jury, we were not to determine the course of treatment or how long he would stay. Only that we thought he would do it again.
So the State Attorneys brought out everyone and everything that would push that agenda. There were the police officers in Ronnie's various arrests. There was parole officer that had Ronnie sent back. The doctors that identified the pictures of the battered and beaten victims as well as defined their injuries.
In my sick sense of humour, I found two sets of witnesses the funniest ones for the State's side of the case. These were the female victims and the three psychologists brought in.
Dont get me wrong. There isnt anything funny about sexual abuse or battery, but these particular women made things a riot.
Two new women had come foreward to testify that before the assault on Sheila, Ronnie had hit them. At one point in time, he even tore the clothes off of one girl and would have ravished in his truck except that she had run into a local convienance store. Ronnie would drag her out by the hair, toss her back into the truck, and take her back home.
Neither girl brought up charges against him because as they had both put it in a similiar fashion: "Oh he is a good old boy and dat is how it is around where I am from."
When the Respondant's lawyer, Fleschmann, asked one woman how she came to testify at this case, she stated "Well, I done married Ronnie's cousin. When I mentioned the attack when we was younger, my husband insisted that I give my statement."
Then there was Shiela, who cried through most of her testimony. Granted she was the one beaten and assaulted, but with the strong Southern drawl, it was really hard to keep a straight face. Especially when she made comments like "Yeah, I wanted him to f**k me, but I didnt want him to beat me. We done it every way we could and put it in everywhere. How else could I keep him happy?"
When Ronnie was in jail, she would write and visit him. Her letters were entered as evidence by Fleschmann, stating how Sheila was totally devoted to Ronnie, that she would leave whoever she was with for him.
And in the back of mind I kept hearing Coocoo! Coocoo! I'm crazy for Coco Puffs!
Denise refused to testify at the 1998 trial as well as this one. Instead, it came out how she had received a sum of cash from Ronnie's grandmother before her statement could be taken...
And in the back of mind I kept hearing Coocoo! Coocoo! I'm crazy for Coco Puffs!
What was worse that in my strange, crazy mind, the first few thoughts when I saw the women was "Hm, she is pretty hot. I can see why he wanted to do her..."
Which is a good lead-in to the psychologists.
All three of them went into their various educations, job experiences, and fees. One was even pushing his book as the reference point for committing Ronnie back to treatment. Then there was the one that so monotone that I kept hearing Ben Stein saying "Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?"
During one lunch break, a few of jury were debating about taking the doctors out back and beating them to death.
Then there were both set of attorneys jabbing at the doctors to get what they wanted to be said. Both sets were getting so out of line so many times, that the judge had to constantly rein them in. Then when he wanted to admonish them, he sent us to the jury room.
It didnt help that the doctors would debate with Ronnie's lawyers when he tried to discredit them. Then the judge would chew them out for doing it. In his words "You are here to answer the questions, not ask them!"
At one point, me and another juror had different bets going:
1) How often Fleschmann would get overturned
2) How often the State attorneys would get chewed out for asking inappropriate queestions
3) How often the doctors would get yelled at
4) How often we would be sent to the jury room so the judge could yell at everyone.
So after suffering thru a few days of the slow monotone pace, the constant bickering, and humorous drawls, the Respondant got present their case.
And things went downhill from there...
To Be Continued
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Japanese dirctor says that Hollywood is out of ideas. Well no, shite. How the else can you explain Scary Movie 4?
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me by TISM
Everyone else has had more sex than me
Does anyone else get that feeling?
Teenagers, naked, couples in threes...
Grandparents swing from the ceiling...
Geez everything about this song is addicting, even the video...
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Stupid is as stupid does...
-- from the movie Forrest Gump
::: Tower View :::
Have We Got A Case For You...
The case was a civil commitment trial brought on by the state to determine if the Respondant, whom we'll call Ronnie, should be classified as violent sexual offender and would most likely offend again. The state attorney's gave a description of this case as part of their opening arguements.
In 1992, Ronnie was charged for sexual battery on his then girlfriend, Sheila. He was 22 while she was 18.
One night they had gone out drinking, smoked abit of pot, and driven out to a secluded area of town where there was nothing but woods and sand dunes. They had sex in the back seat of his Ford Explorer, on the hood, and in the cab. During this event, Ronnie ripped off her clothes, slapped her around, struck her face, and bit several parts of her body. He also proceeded to use a police-style baton to beat Sheila as well as penetrate her with it. After using the baton on her lower region, they would have more sex.
After the ordeal, he dropped her home, then back to his parents' home. The next day, she charged him with the assault.
Sheila had gone to the ER where the police took several photos. They took several photos of the crime scene, finding bits of her clothing, beer bottles, and a wooden baton. In the meantime, they had put out a warrant for Ronnie's arrest.
After "coaxing" his family to work them, the police found Ronnie in his truck, hanging out down at a neighbor's house. He was he was arrested, arraigned, and released on bond. While out on bail, Ronnie was not to have any contact to Sheila.
A few nights later, Sheila went to Ronnie's home looking for him, wanting to go out, and to apologize for having him charged. Earlier that day she had attempted to get the charges dropped against Ronnie by stating that she had lied about the entire incident. Since the police collected the evidence, they knew a crime had been commmitted and would proceed with the case.
So that night, Ronnie and Sheila drove out to the woods in his truck to do some drinking, smoke some pot, and proceed to have sex. They would have sex in the back seat, in the cab, and even behind the truck. Ronnie proceeded to rip her clothes, slap her around, and beat Sheila with a hammer handle, even penetrating her with it.
They drove out to a nearby motel to have more sex where he would slap her around again. Ronnie gave a new meaning to phone sex as he used the phone receiever as a toy on her.
After several hours of this, he drove them home.
The next day, Sheila called the police on him again. Ronnie's bail was revoked, a warrant put out on him and was promptly re-arrested at his parents' home. He would be charged for the second assault as well as breaking the terms of the original bond and immediately incarcerated.
Ronnie would plead no-contest to two charges of sexual battery and was sentenced to prison for 10 years and to 5 years probation.
In 1997, Ronnie was released into probation on good behavior. He would continue to date Sheila, who had been visiting and writing him during his prison term.
In 1998, Six months after his release, Ronnie would be arrested for statutory rape of a 16 year old girl, Denise. Although, Ronnie was 28 at the time, charges were dropped because he had picked Denise up in a bar and could assume she was above the legal age of consent.
A few weeks later, Ronnie and Denise drove out to the woods in his truck in order to drink, smoke crack, and have sex. During this incident, Ronnie tore off Denise's clothes, screaming that she was working with the police to get his parole revoked.
He was determined to find the wire they had planted on her. Finding none, Ronnie proceeded to beat Denise in the face and back as well as biting her in several locations. He also used a police-style baton to beat the teen as well as to penetrate her several times before having more sex with her.
Afterwards, he began to drive her home, having Denise wear his t-shirt.
As they drove along, Ronnie held a knife to her throat, stating that he was going to cut her up and leave the pieces all over town so that no one could find her. It was at that moment, the truck stalled, forcing Ronnie to pull over.
By some chance luck, a police cruiser pulled up behind them, lights flashing.
Ronnie threatened Denise, saying that if she told anyone the truth that he would kill her. She was to tell the officers that her boyfriend "Reggie" had beat her up and that her cousin, Ronnie, saved Denise. He even cut his leg to make the story believeable.
The police officer who found them took Denise to the ER to be checked out while Ronnie refused medical treatment and was given a lift home. Denise gave the story that Ronnie told her to say. Then before an exam could be given, she went home against medical advice.
The Sex Crimes Unit investigated the false story that the teenager had given. By this time, her mother had seen the damage inflicted upon the girl and took several photos to document her injuries. Then they both went to Ronnie's parole office to file a complaint.
This time a special unit of SWAT was dispatched after Ronnie.
When they entered his home, his mother and sister were insistant that he wasnt home. A search of the garage found classic car that had been restored, but the doors and trunk locked. When the SWAT officers requested the keys for the vehicle, both females stated that they had no idea where the keys where located. But when the officers noted that they would use explosives to open the car, the mother "remembered" where the keys were and surrendered them.
They promptly found Ronnie hiding in the trunk of the car.
The state couldnt charge Ronnie for the assault on Denise because they had not collected the evidence and the victim refused to cooperate. It became a case of He Said - Mom Says Otherwise.
Despite the fact they couldnt charge him with this crime, his parole was revoked for statuatory as well as having contact with Sheila, which was against the terms of his parole. Ronnie was sentenced to finish the 4 years from his original sentence as well as an additional 5 years for the statuatory rape. His sentence would be served at the minimum security prison, the Civil Commitment Center, where sexual offenders are placed.
During this term, Ronnie began started dating his nurse, Irene, who worked at the facility. She would lose her job and her license states she is no longer allowed to treat male patients, but they are currently engaged. Ronnie has also refused any kind of sexual offender's treatment and awaits his release in the summer of 2007.
This civil case was to not only force Ronnie remain as a guest of the state, but would also force him take some kind of treatment program.
The respondant's case was that although Ronnie had done some bad things in the past, he would complete his jail time as expected and that the State was trying to incarcerate him under a law that didnt apply. There was no way that we could predict whether or not this man would truly offend once again.
Then the fun really began...
To Be Continued
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
The list of the world's least sexiest men. Frig, how did I end up at #69?!
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Boulevard of Broken Dreams (remix) by Green Day, Oasis, and Aerosmith
I walk a lonely road
the only one I have ever known
Dont know where it goes
But its only me
And I walk alone
Today is the going to be the day
That they are going to throw it back to you
I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
And the city sleeps
And I'm the only one
And I walk alone
By now, you should have somehow,
Realized what you gotta do
And I walk alone, I walk alone
I dont believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
And I walk alone
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Shut Up, Hippy!
-- seen on a bumper sticker
::: Tower View :::
Terms Of Service
Geez, I've really been gone for awhile. So to make up for it, I can finally divulge the details of my jury duty. This will take a couple of days because it could practically be a book.
You've been warned.
**********
Voir Dire
As much as people dispise this obligation, I will be the first to admit that this had to be one of the best experiences I've had. Mainly because the damn thing was funny from beginning to end which is why this is going to take some time.
I reported to the courthouse on the Monday morning as requested. The city does a pretty good job in that there is one central location for all potenital jurorists to park and the city pays for a shuttle to bring people back and forth. Normally, a juror goes thru one case and finds out if they are chosen. If they are chosen, then they are told to come back later in the week to serve.
Those that arent chosen are sent home. Job done.
After filling all the necessary paperwork and watching the silly video on jury duty, The first group is called together. I'm number two on the list. The first thought on my mind was "Frig! I'm royally screwed now!"
There are 18 of us called into a courtroom and the one sitting next to me was a younger guy who obviously was just too busy to be inconvienced. I think it was the comment of "Man, if I gotta lie to get out of this bullshit, then I'll do it!"
He really must be a really busy type of guy. After all, he couldnt have been bothered to have tucked in the dingy white tshirt under his wrinkled animal print shirt.
The first step any jury is to do called Voir Dire. This is when both sets of the lawyers ask the jurors questions in order to determine who they want or dont want to stay. I was quite proud to state my name, occupation, and how long I had lived here. After all, I'm a semi-respectable citizen of the community. Thats my story and I'm sticking to it.
The busy body next declared that this name was Redman and that he was a manager at Hardees. I now refuse to eat there for any reason.
After everyone tells who they are, the potential jury is told that this a civil case brought on by the state and the defendant was actually to be called the Respondant. The questions may be abit more adult oriented and may come upon touchy subjects such as sex and violence.
Thats when the though hits me: Sex?! Perk!! What is this all about?! Woohoo! Apparently, I've been watching Law And Order: Special Victims Unit abit too much.
There are two female lawyers for the State and they go thru there progression of questions for everyone. There are questions about how we feel about sexual offenders, sexual violence, and molestors. A few make it known that they cant be too objective as either they were victims or knew someone who was a victim.
One question asked was Would you have a problem deciding if someone should go to jail? to which Redman shot his hand up and yelped "Yes, I do!" When the State attorney asked him why, he replied "I've got alot of relatives in jail already!"
He began whispering to me "Yes! I'm going home! I'm going home!".
When the Respondant's lawyer began asking questions, Redman's hand continuously shot up.
"Have you or anyone close you ever been charged with a sexual offense?"
"Yep! My uncle! He done got seven years!"
"Have you or anyone close you ever been charged with a drug abuse?"
"Yep! My mom!"
After awhile, the Respondant's lawyer, Mr. Flechman, would just say "Thank you, Mr. Redman. I think we got you."
So every few mins, Redman would again whisper gleefully "Yes! I'm going home! I'm going home!".
At one point, the Flechman asked if anyone knew what actuarial tables were. I responded that I knew what they were and had worked with due to my employment as a computer programmer with an insurance company. Then Red would whisper Ooo! You're going home! You're going home!
It was like this for the entire 2 hour process except for when Redman had fallen asleep and began snoring. Loud. Then snorted himself awake which even made me giggle softly. I was amazed that the judge didnt toss him out for contempt.
With every question concerning the thoughts about sex, incarceration, violence, and drugs, my interest was actually piqued. I really wanted to be on this one.
The State lawyer even asked "Do you have any issue with harsh language? Do you have a problem with someone telling you, pardon my language, that they are going f*ck you?" I almost blurted out Are you kidding?! I practically beg women to tell me that!
Around 10:30am, all of the jurors were released for a 15 minute break in order for the lawyers and judge to discuss who would stay and who would go. All the way out the door, Redman continued his chant "I'm going home! I'm going home!". He practically did the Happy Dance going out the courtroom. Then again, he was doing the Happy Dance when we back came in.
After being seated, the judge spoke to us, stating that while some of us will be picked for this trial, the ones that were not picked shouldnt be offended because they could be a good juror for another trial. So those who were called would remain while those left over would return to the main hall in order to be picked for a different trial.
Redman's jaw dropped for a moment while I stiffled a snicker, my mind thinking "You arent going home! You arent going home!" Hehehe...
My name was called and I was in.
Redman collected himself and mumbled "That's ok. I'll lie to them too. I dont need this shit." Then off he went. Obviously, Hardee's needs him back in a hurry because I sure as hell wouldnt want him to be in jury with me.
With the others gone, we were down to 7 jurors and we found out when the trial would begin.
Right then and there...
To Be Continued
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Barter your paper clip for a house. Now I could afford that kind of mortgage.
**********
Goths prone to suicide. Ugh, such depressing news... everything is so black...
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Party Up by DMX
Listen
Your ass is about to be missing!
You know who gonna find you?
Who?
Some old man fishing!
Grandma wishing your soul's at rest,
But its hard to digest
With the size of the hole in your chest
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Even with my eyes wide open, I cant see a thing.
-- from the movie Zatoichi
::: Tower View :::
I'm sorry I havent been around much again. Its been hectic at the Castle. And before I forget again, a belated happy birthday goes out to Methos...
What Do You See?
For this week, I find myself in jury duty. Although I cant go into details of the trial as of yet, but the courthouse's snack bar has provided enough excitement as it is.
This morning, I went in to pick up a bottle of water and a chocolate bar. As I stood there at the counter, waiting for the cashier to ring me up, I watched as he folded up the cash from the previous person and place it in the register.
As I stood there waiting patiently, I noticed the cashier peering right at me.
I cough gently and he says "Oh, sorry. What can I get you?" I reply "Just these" and point to the water and candy. Then the cashier turns his head slightly and asks "What do you have?"
I peer closer and notice he has hearing aids in both ears. I thought that was abit strange for such a young man, but simply replied in a louder tone of voice "Just these things..." while pointing to the stuff I want.
The puzzled look on his face began to frustrate me. I began thinking how could they let this guy work here?!
Suddenly a voice behind me rang out "He's got one bottle of water and one candy bar."
Thats when I noticed the sign behind the cashier:
Cashier is blind! Tell him what you are buying and how many! Thanks!
There is the same sign is sitting under my purchases.
So as the sudden feeling of stupidity washed over me, I apologize to the cashier, state that the voice was correct, and hand over my money. I turned around to the gentleman behind me, who obviously worked in the building, and thanked him.
Its always the smallest things that make us feel the worst.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Take a trip across the country by bicycle. Time to mount up!
**********
Father vidoe game with son. Hilarity ensues. This is just wrong. Funny, but wrong. (hat tip: Sybil)
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy by Big & Rich
Cause I saddle up my horse and ride him thru the city
I make alot of noise
Cause all the girls they are so pretty
Riding up and down broadway on my old stud Leroy
And the girls say
Save a horse, ride a cowboy!
I know its a country song, but its pretty damn catchy. LOL...
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Me: I really need to be careful about what I say here.
Aimee: Dont worry, Ken. If you are around me, sexual harrassment isnt a problem, but I do grade on technique.
-- from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
Back Into The Fold
So I've been out of the loop for some time. With work, being ill, allergies, computer issues, and the cycling team, its amazing I actually had been getting four hours of sleep a day.
And to be honest, there hasnt been anything to interesting other than the typical innuendo going around the office.
Oh! I could suck all the stuff out of that one!
One second. Let stick this in my mouth.
I love the taste of that, but I always end up wiping it off of my face.
Let me spread this open...
Damn it! I stick this huge package in and nothing happened. Nothing came out!
I need to get my hands around it.
Well, you are just going to have to find a way to fit it in. Just shove in there.
Frig. This is what I get for working around a bunch of women.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Floyd Landis wins at Paris-Nice! Landis may only be the second American to win this classic race, but its yet another one that the French cant win. Hehehe...
**********
::: Background Noise :::
In The Air Tonight by Nonpoint
I can feel it come in the air tonight
Oh lord
I been waiting for this moment
For all my life
Oh lord...
A decent cover of the original Phil Collins song. First heard this on the Coach Carter soundtrack.
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
All good things must come to an end, but all bad things can continue forever.
-- Anonymous
::: Background Noise :::
Being the epitome of laziness tonight, this is the best that I can offer.
How Soon Is Now by The Psychodelic Furs
I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son
And the heir
Of nothing in particular
You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does
There's a club
If you like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go
And you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home
And you cry
And you want to die
When you say its going to happen now
Well when exactly do you mean?
See I've already waited too long
And all my hope is gone
This is the cover of The Smiths version, but I prefer this one ever since I heard it as the intro song to the tv show Charmed.
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say "What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!".
-- Steven Wright
::: Tower View :::
Call The Office
I am at the office when I receive a phone call from a lass I hadnt heard from in a year. Apparently she had some news for me.
Her: Ken, I recently had a daughter and you're the father.
Me: What the hell?! What are you talking about?!
Her: You have a daughter. She has Asian eyes so I know she is yours.
Me: You know, this isnt funny.
Her: I'm completely serious, Ken. She has the most pretty Asian eyes.
Me: There is no way she is mine!
Her: She has to be your daughter, Ken. I've only been with one Asian man and she has Asian eyes.
Me: Damn it, Mei Ling! There is no way that girl is mine!
...And if you didnt laugh at that one, then you must be blonde. Just like Nancy at office who required me and three other people to explain the joke to her.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Playboy is now offering subscriptions to students. Where was this when I was a kid?!
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Talk Talk by Talk Talk
You're laughing at me when I'm up
I see you when you're crying
For me when I'm down
I see you when you're laughing
For me when I'm up
I see you when you're crying for me
All you do to me is talk talk
Talk Talk
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
-- Harlan Ellison
::: Tower View :::
It Wasnt Me This Time
Recently, our company found out that someone in the Information Technology (IT) division broke some major rules and got himself fired.
Since I happen to work in the IT division, this had to be some serious offense. The only way for an IT person to get fired is if they were doing work for another company at the office, watching p()rn, doing day trading, or stealing data.
When this person got sacked, it made the rumour mills throughout the company.
What was even worse was the voice mail I got from a friend in another division:
Hey! If you are still working here, call me back. I just wanted to find out if they finally caught you yet.
Sheesh. Thanks for the faith.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Boom! Now I've been bored and out of beer, but damn...
**********
Time to bring the pain, baby! Terry Tate always did rock. We need a few more of him around the office.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Drive by The Cars
Who's going to hold you down
When you shake?
Who's going to come around
When you break?
You cant go on
Thinking nothing's wrong
Who's going to drive you home tonight?
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown
::: Tower View :::
Happy Heart Day
Some of the most romantic movies for the day:
Say Anything - Because I am Lloyd Dobler
Eat Drink Man Woman - Before Brokeback Mountain, Ang Lee made this gem about an old chef dealing with the love lives of his three daughters.
When Harry Met Sally - Deli scene. Nuff said.
Sleepless In Seattle - Meg Ryan. Wanting another deli scene. Nuff said.
You've Got Mail - Meg Ryan. Wanting another deli scene. Nuff said.
**********
Birthday Wishes
First to Doombringer: We didnt forget you, sir! You just happen to be in the wrong state!
Second to Gi: As much as you wanted to do it, you couldnt forget your birthday. Hehe...
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
She actually asked "Are you sure?!" I wonder if she also believed the line "I'll tap your head just before it happens..".
**********
Just a little shooting going on. Proving once again, I happen to live in the wrong place. Heh...
**********
Time to find a curry and rice girl. Damn. I need to send this to Jay... Bwahahaha...
**********
For those that are considering children. If this doesnt convince you, then nothing will.
**********
The Aussie group Tripod performing live here. There is hope for us geeks still.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Everything by Lifehouse
How can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you?
And you tell me
How could it be any better than this?
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Aimee: I'm leaving for the day. I actually get to see my husband during the daytime.
Robbie: Wont that make his girlfriend mad?
-- from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
Random Shots
I'm being lazy so this is the best I can do for now. Abit of random thoughts fired across the bow...
1) Fury sent me this article about the office spouses. Its no wonder Gi and I get along so well.
2) Lance and Sheryl broke up?! There is no hope for the rest of the world.
3) Wok Seared Lamb from P.F. Changs Mmmm...
4) And just to represent this past week...
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Time for some burgers. I drive this way too... hehe...
**********
::: Background Noise :::
I'm With You by Avril Lavigne
Isnt anyone trying to find me?
Wont somebody come take me home
Its a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
But I
I'm with you
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
We don't stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.
-- George Bernard Shaw
::: Tower View :::
I Refuse To Grow Up
You Are 26 Years Old |
 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
cough bullsh*t cough...
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Jill Hennessy talks about the things she loves. She wants me. She may not know it yet, but she wants me.
**********
The latest in floatation devices are on display here. Must not stare.. must not stare...
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Re-Arranged by Limp Bizkit
Lately I've been skeptical
Silent when I would used to speak
Distant from all around me
Who witness me fail and become weak
Life is overwhelming
Heavy is the head that wears the crown
I'd love to be the one to
Disappoint you when I dont fall down
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Kobe Bryant scored 81 points in the Lakers' 122-104 win over the Raptors on Sunday night, the second-highest total in NBA history. It's by far the most Kobe has ever scored without having to buy his wife a diamond afterward.
-- Pete McEntegart, writer for Sports Illustrated
::: Tower View :::
Damn You're Old
First order of business for this eve is to say Happy Birthday to Angelia. I was trying to figure out where to send the senior citizens discout card, but then she threatened me with a sharp pointy stick...
So no cake for Ken..! Instead she got even with me. See below...
**********
Tagged And Bagged
So I got bloody well tagged yet again. I've been getting tagged so much lately that I should have one of the little slips of paper hanging off my left ear with a GPS tracker inserted inside the skin of my bum...
Here is tonight's list, but you may not find the answers you were looking for. Ha!
1) What is your middle name? [CLASSIFIED]
2) What size is your bed? I dont have a bed. I sleep on the floor.
3) What are you listening to? Broken by Seether and Amy Lee
4) What are the last two digits of your phone #? 1 and 4
5) What is the last thing you ate? Wendy.. err.. I mean Wendy's fries
6) Last person you hugged? Men dont hug, we embrace. For a really long time.
7) How is the weather right now? Frigging cold.
8) Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? The answering machine voice.
9) What's the first thing you notice about the opposite/same sex? Eyes
10) Do you have a bf/gf ? Wouldnt this involve someone actually liking me being around?
11) Ok, who the frig took #11??
12) Do you drink? No, but I've seriously begun to think about it.
13) Have you ever gotten so drunk that you don't remember the entire nite? Aye, hence my current attitude.
14) Hair color? Black
15) Eye color? Brown
16) Fav baseball team? The best thing about baseball season is that it ends!
17) Fav animal? Dogs
18) Favorite season? Fall
19) Ever cried for no reason? Men dont cry. We just have slight drops of water departing our eyes from time to time.
20) Last movie you watched? Underworld Evolution
21) What book are you reading? Hellblazer: Red Sepuchre by Mike Carey
22) Piercings? one in my left ear
23) Favorite movie? Akira, Fist of Legend
24) Fav college team? None truly. I did notice Angelia said OSU and would have to say that we all like some Beaver...
25) What are you doing right now? Grumbling like mad hatter.
26) Pets? Yes, I do tend to pet when the time arises. Why?
27) Dog or cats? Dogs.. Cats taste better, but not as much meat on the bones.
28) Favorite flower? Snapdragon
29) Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to be doing? Its my job.
30) Have you ever loved someone? Absolutely
31) Who would you like to see right now? Jenna Jameson; she has some really nice big round.. umm.. eyes..
32) Are you still friends with your ex's? At times.
33) Have you ever fired a gun? Yes, and if my neighbors keep f**king up, I'll fire it some more times.
34) Do you like to travel by plane? Absolutely
35) Right handed or left handed? Depends on what I'm doing at the time...
36) If you could be with someone right now, who would it be? Jenna Jameson; she has some really huge.. ummm.. tracts of land...
37) How many pillows you sleep with? None. You assume I sleep on a bed.
38) Are you missing someone? yes
39) Do you have a tattoo? Two of them.
40) Do you watch cartoons on Sat. mornings? No; Justice League Unlimited isnt until Sat night.
41) Are you hiding something from someone? Of course. Its the best thing I do.
42) Do you play an instrument? Well, I've never called it an instrument, but sure...
Now I have to tag a few other victims. So Fury, Chloe, Axe, and Bobby.
Of course they have the option of not doing this, but you will be cursed like those mass emails always say. Hehe..
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Engineer rides bicycle modified with rocket engine. Dont we have these things already? They're called motorcycles!
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Over The Hills And Far Away by Night Wish
Over the hills and far away
For ten long years
He'll count the days
Over the mountains and the seas
A prisoner's life for him there'll be
This version is more of a dance mix, but I remember first hearing this song from Sharpe's Rifles
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Dont ask. To know about the Giggle Loop is to become part of the Giggle Loop.
-- Jeff from Coupling
::: Tower View :::
There Is Nothing Funny About It
Ever been to hear an Asian pastor give a birthday toast?
It becomes a 10 minute sermon with a large amount of reverence combined with a lot of "Ums" and "Errs." It reminds me of a southern baptist preacher with a heavy accent. He has absolutely no idea what he is discussing and finds himself repeating over and over again...
...with the people around him saying alot of Amen! along the way.
So the most inappropriate thing you can do at a time like that is to laugh. Thus begins the Giggle Loop.
You arent supposed to laugh and you think "Dear God! Dont let me laugh." Then it slightly slips out. A soft chuckle.
So you step away for a moment to prevent everyone from seeing this occurring. When you step back, thinking you are in control, another chuckle slips out.
"Damn it! You arent supposed to laugh!"
...and you step away again to prevent from laughing out aloud...
Then the Ava Maria singing began and the cycle occurs again...
Which explains why I had to stay in the kitchen during the entire toast at my uncle's birthday party last night.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Super Pacman beats Morales in 10 rounds! This was one excellent fight, unless you are a fan of Erik Morales. Bang! Bang!
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Every Time You Cry by The Outfield
Every time you cry
I cry just a little bit
Cry just a little bit
When you say good bye
I die just a little bit
Cry just a little bit
Just a little bit more
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Ray: What is the deal with all the blue balls?
Me: Perhaps its an indication of things to come.
-- from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
Pardon Me
Its been that kind of week.
Between the stress, frustration, and just plain exhaustion, I thought I've been hearing things. Apparently not. I've just been taking them out of context; As usual.
"Gee, thats a big one."
"There is no way that will fit in there."
"I like to spread them out for everyone."
"He pulled it out and thats all she wrote.."
"It wouldnt fit in my mouth..."
"Oh, I just kept working on it until it went all the way down..."
I must have lost my mind somewhere along the way.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Naked woman poses with car at show. Heh, that would make me want to buy it.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Enter Sandman by Metallica
Exit light
Enter night
Grain of sand
Take my hand
off to never, never land...
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Mrs. Beaver: You've been sneaking second helpings, havent you?
Mr. Beaver: Well, you never know if your next meal's going to be your last. Especially with your cooking.
-- from The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe
::: Tower View :::
Oh Yeah? Name Two
Yet again, I've "appropriated" a list from Angelia. Somehow I found this one pretty close to home, but then again, dont I find them all that way? She called it a way to express the inner self. I would say that its a way to put my thoughts down in some kind of order, rather than the blatent rambling I do constantly.
So without further ado...
Two Names You Go By
1. Ken
2. You Bastard! (Thats only if you've been married to me at one point in your life)
Two Parts Of Your Heritage
1. Mom
2. Dad
Two Things That Scare You
1. Dying alone
2. Heights
Two Of Your Everyday Essentials
1. My computer
2. My music
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. Black ring with red dragon emblem
2. Grey ESPN shirt
Two Of Your Favorite Bands Or Musical Artists (At The Moment)
1. Linkin Park
2. Green Day
Two Of Your Favorite Songs (At The Moment)
1. The Hard Way - Fort Minor
2. Leaving Me Now - Level 42
Two Things You Want In A Relationship (Other Than Real Love)
1. A gentle soul
2. Humour (Laughter is a good one too)
Two Truths
1. The memories flash across my eyes more than ever.
2. I wondered what this world would be if I wasnt in it.
Two Physical Things That Appeal To You
1. Eyes
2. Hair
Two Of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Bicycling
2. Video games
Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. My soulmate
2. To find somewhere I belong
Two Places You Want To Go On Vacation
1. Ireland
2. Germany
Two Things You Want To Do Before You Die
1. Have my own family
2. Cycle the mountains the Europe
Two Ways That You Are Stereotypically a Dude/Chick
1. I like to ogle females.
2. One word: Pron...
Two Ways You Act Like The Opposite Sex?
1. I like to shop.
2. I am a romantic.
Two Things You Are Thinking About Now
1. Roses
2. Earrings
Two Stores You Shop At Often
1. EB Games
2. Performance Cycling
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Vampire wants to pin Jesse "The Body" Ventura. No biting allowed! Ask Mike Tyson about that...
**********
::: Background Noise :::
For You by The Outfield
I was wrong
My mistake
I regret
Look at the price I paid
Take these words
Understand
Try to forgive me
I'm a broken man.
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Now I'm just like the bastards I've hated all me life.
-- John Constantine, Rake at the Gates of Hell
::: Tower View :::
The Have Nots
If I remember correctly, Chloe tagged me with this. So I guess I had best answer.
Four jobs you've never had in your life:
Pimp
Loan Collections
Politician
Race Car Driver (I do this for free!)
Four movies you don't want to watch even once:
The Notebook
Brokeback Mountain
Rumor Has It
Any movie by Michael Moore
Four places you've never lived:
Berlin
Paris
Moscow
Vermont (Does anyone truly live there as opposed to survive?)
Four television shows you've never watched:
Trading Spouse
The OC
24
Desperate Housewives
For places you've never been on vacation:
Dublin
Amsterdam
Portland, Or
Seatlle, Wa
Four of your least favorite foods:
Brussel Sprouts
Blood pudding
Goat
Asparagus
Four places you'd rather not be:
The office (lately)
Jail
Africa
Miami, Fl (I'm Asian, damn it! Not cuban!)
Four albums (cds) you can live without:
(with apologies to L&L...)
Anything by Rascal Flats
Anything by Travis Tritt
Anything with the words Honky Tonk in it...
Anything by Kayne West (jackass..)
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Super Saiyans battle with Linkin Park. For the Dragonball Z fans...
**********
The Asian Backstreet Boys strike again. I really need to find out who their choreographer is...
**********
This gives a new meaning to girls on film. I'm all for girl on girl action, but damn...
**********
There are times when doing the treadmill is just too much. Ummm... Ow...
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Natural One by Folk Implosion
I'm the one
Natural one
Take it easy
We can take it inside
I can have it
Because I act like I love it
Its a matter of pride
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Dont take any sh*t from anybody!
-- Billy Joel
::: Tower View :::
The First Time
No matter how old we are, we always remember that first time. It was an event in our lifetime that impacted how we handled things in the future. And for me, that time has occurred with Angelia.
Why not? After all, I've been accused of having something for her. So it seems fitting that she be my first.
...To have filled out my Comments section...
I didnt even know I had a comments section! I finally got a chance to work on the blog when I stumbled upon a comment Angelia entered last month (and a really good one I might add). After going thru a few other posts, I discovered she had been putting other comments out into the world.
So I owe you an apology, Angelia. I wasnt ignoring you, dear one. Things just happened so quickly that it was over before I knew what to do. Was it good for you as it was for me? It'll get better with more experience, I swear.
With that being said, I've updated the blog slightly for comments and such.
Now get your minds out of the gutter. Grab mine while you are there, please.
**********
Link Lists
1) My copy of Post Secret finally came in. Its a great book and I highly recommend it.
2) Its funny see the video for All American Rejects song Dirty Little Secrets. They used cards from Post Secret as part of the video.
3) I was recently talked into the going to the Billy Joel concert. Despite his age, the show was still pretty good. The man can rock.
4) It was inspiring hearing the entire arena sing Piano Man with the band. A moment of joy was felt by all.
5) I could really use a drink right now.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
The AVN Pron Awards are almost as big as the Oscars nowadays. And where else can you have a catagory like Best Actress In A Double Penetration?
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Shout 2000 by Disturbed
Shout
Shout
Let it all out
These are the things that I can do without
Come on
I'm talking to you
So come on...
This was the first time I heard this cover and I have to admit, its pretty damn good.
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
* Click the time below to post comments
*******************************************************
Football Is an honest game. It's true to life . It's a game about sharing. Football is a team game. So is life.
-- Joe Namath
::: Tower View :::
Latest Pictorial
I've finally gotten around to offloading the pictures from the holidays. Aye, I know. I'm a lazy sod.
So here are some of my favorites...
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
The Asian version of the Backstreet Boys have arrived. I've missed my calling.
**********
The Wulin Warriors are coming!. I wanted to say Thunderbirds are go!, but realized I was in the wrong country. (hat tip: Puppet Vision)
**********
GLAAD mad at bad review of dumb movie. Your opinion is very important to us. Unless we dont like comments, then of which, we will collect your f%^king head.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) by Green Day
So take the photographs
And still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time
Tattoos of memories
And dead skin on trial
For what it's worth
It was worth all the while
Its something unpredictable
But in the end its right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.
-- Robert Cody
::: Tower View :::
You've Got Personality
Hat tip to Fury
| Your Personality Is |
You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented. Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules. You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader. You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you. A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do. You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up. In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly. At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions. With others, you tend to be polite and formal. As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself. On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them! |
They forgot to include that I'm a complete bastard.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Police arrest robber with help from his license plate. You have to be a frigging idiot when your plate says FINDME
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Good Is Good by Sheryl Crow
I dont hold no mystery
But I can show you how to turn the key
Cause all I know is where I started
So downhearted
And thats not where you want to be
And everytime you hear the rolling thunder
You turn around before the lightening strikes
And you could find a rock to crawl right under
If all your good times pass you by
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Hello, you've reached me. If you don't know who me is, you've dialed the wrong number.
-- From an answering machine message
::: Tower View :::
A List By Any Other Name
Once again, I'm blaming Angelia for this because she came up with a great idea. She's started another project based on lists. Lists of anything and everything that we could come up with. Its a really interesting concept...
Then I really liked the first one she came up with so I had to respond.
List all the greetings you've used to answer the telephone
- Hi. Now you say something.
- Good morning. Information Systems. This is Ken. What did you break?
- Mike's Mortuary. You stab em, we slab em.
- Yallo?!
- Hm?
- yes?
- What?!
- Mushimushi!
- Konichi wa!
- Pappa John's Pizza. We're abit busy at the moment. Please hold...
- Front desk. How may I direct your call?
- Hi, This is the Game Store. My name is Ken. No we dont have any Super Ninetendos left. Now how may help you?
So I sent her a suggestion and here is what I came up with...
List all unessential items sitting on your desk at the moment
- The snail mail for the past month
- Stack of reciepts
- Non-functional clock
- A ton of unopened software
- Photo negatives
- Used gift card to Ted's Montana Grill
- A twist tie for a loaf of bread
- The bottle cap to a Dasani bottle
- Empty cd jewel cases
- Empty cd paper sleeves
- The broken ear piece to an old pair of eyeglasses
- Lens cleaning cloth
- Two empty soda cans
- Bottle of aspirin
- A coaches' whistle
- A scrunchy
- A LiveStrong bracelet
- Stack of backup dvds *cough*
- Toy Dragon
- Sun visor
- Stack of arcade tokens
- Empty MP3 player case
- Two tubes of Anbesol
- Box of Kleenex
- Sports watch with semi-broken strap
- Installation instructions for bicycle cyclometer
- Various video game manuals
- A City of Heroes playing card. ("Statesman" to be specific
- Phone battery that doesnt fit any of my phones
- 25 foot USB cable still in it package and unopened
- Empty case to flash card
Damn, I'm a frigging pack rat... So what is on your desk?
By the way, Angelia, I cant leave comments on your new blog. Stupid Xanga.
Anyways, we really need to talk. Garter strap, brownies, and RPG materials?! What exactly were you doing last night, hm? LOL...
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Man wounded while playing with handgun in bathroom. Most men prefer to play with their own weapon while in the bathroom.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Hash Pipe by Weezer
Come on and kick me
You've got your problems
I've got my ass wide
You've got your big G's
I've got my hash pipe
There is something severely wrong with those lyrics...
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
The Steward
