Castle Shima

It won't hurt at first. It's too hot, you see? The flame sears the nerve endings shut, killing them. You'll go into shock. And all you'll feel is... cold.
-- Castle from The Punisher

Its time to get ready for the big ride for the year. As part of the preparation for this event, I've been uploading more music to the mp3 player. The funny part is that I've been finding music that I had forgotten about because its been on the old player and I've been taking it for granted.

One of those forgotten songs happens to be this tune from Cake. The animation has always been been pretty good for a low budget video.

Sheep Go To Heaven by Cake


Now if I can only figure out whether or not I'll need a frigging parka for the ride, I'll be set.

Yeah, right.

A lifetime of training for just ten seconds.
-- Jesse Owens

Ever have those moments where you need some music for motivation? Whenever I ride, I have to play music. Otherwise I go absolutely mad with aggrevation. Its my bit of motivation.

Yesterday's battle with the wind lasted for 45 miles. Everything just hurt. Legs cramping. Lungs burning. The body screaming in pain, begging me to stop this craziness.

Then this song came on the player and it all just seemed to fit.

Gotta Get Thru This by Daniel Bedingfield


Then I realized I still had 44 miles to go. If I had the ability to breathe, I would have cursed at every car that passed by.

The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy. Its that I just don't care.
-- Peter from Office Space

Sometime laughter really is the best medicine, especially with everything we go thru at our jobs. I made the mistake of listening to Robert Schimmel at the work again.

Well, it really wasnt a mistake. NFSW so put the kids to bed.

You can only be young once, but you can always be immature.
-- Dave Berry

Have you noticed that there have been alot of athletes in the news lately? Oregon University's running back LeGarrette Blount ruined his college career for punching another player. Serena Williams' tirade cost her the US Open and some credibility. Roger Federer's own outburst was so uncharcteristic. Several of the Ohio State alumni voiced their anger at Terrelle Pryor as the young quarterback showed his support for the returning Michael Vick.

If you think about it, this is not uncommon. Considering all the hockey dads, basketball moms, and football parents, is it no wonder this sort of thing becomes more and more prevelant?

Somewhere along the way, many of us have forgotten that sports is not only entertainment, but helps define the athletes, especially the young ones. After all, they are in it for the fun, the pure enjoyment. For the love of the game.

Time to let 'em play.

Celebrate Youth by H-Blockx


Hm, I may have to start playing golf.

You're not so tough without your car, are you?
-- Phoebe from Kindergarten Cop

Venting is supposed to help release alot of that pent up anger so lets see if this works.

ANGRY RANT MODE ON
I really had no idea who James Martin is. As an American, I've never seen his tv shows or read any of his articles. Regardless, I still want to punch the wanker right in the face.

Martin writes luxary car reviews for a UK paper. Last Saturday, he published an online article where he not only does he discuss Tesla's electric car, Martin mentions how he hates cyclists. As part of this article, Martin describes in detail how he used the car's quiet drive to sneak up on a group of unsuspecting riders, honked the horn, and forced the cylists to crash into a hedge while he speed away.

Ha ha. Very funny motherfucker. That shite would have been real funny if someone got seriously hurt or killed, hm?

I know alot of this sounds self-rightous, but most road cyclists have known someone who had either gotten hurt or killed by something like this. A friend of mine was struck by a car and hospitalized for several weeks. Another one was dragged under a car for several feet due to a drunk driver.

Several years ago, a teenage cyclist was killed during a charity event when a speeding driver lost control of their car. She wasnt even riding at the time. She was just standing on a curb while waiting on her father to catch up.

Two months ago a triathelete was killed as he was struck and crashed into the car's windshield. While the rider was bleeding out, the drunk at the wheel continued to drive until a near-by officer forced him to stop.

People can have their opinions, but when someone blatently goes out of their way in order to harm someone else, then retribution is bound to follow.

In Martin's case, he has raised the ire of the international cycling community. Professional cyclists like Bradley Wiggins and Robbie McEwen have pretty called him out to say it their faces. I wouldnt doubt McEwen to knock the living hell out Martin.

The online paper that published the article ended up having to disable the comments section due to the sheer volume. Then they had to remove the paragraphs where Martin gleefully describes the damage he caused. The car company, Tesla, refuses to even use the article as any sort of promotion and are distancing themselves as far as possible.

Martin has offered some half-assed apology for his comments, but he still has to pay for his actions. Police are asking for the group that were forced off the road to come forward. I dont know if anything could really be done. It depends on what happened to the riders.

We'll see what happens. Maybe they'll make the prat have to ride a bicycle during on-coming traffic.
ANGRY RANT MODE OFF

Lets see. Did writing that out help any?

Hm. No, I still want to stomp a mudhole on Martin.

What I really need to do is blow off some steam.

Life gives us brief moments with another, but sometimes in those brief moments we get memories that last a life time.
-- Unknown

Do you remember where you were eight years ago? Some do. Some dont.

Its a fact of life that memories fade as time goes by. Today should not be one of those days that we trivialize. After all, tomorrow doesnt come for all of us. You never know what the day will bring you, even just a simple day at the office.



These are the times of our lives. Never forget that.

Yeah, those acts of God really stick it in and break it off, don't they?
-- Seth from From Dusk Til Dawn

When I first saw the trailer below, the first thing that flew thru my mind were the Prophecy movie series. But after thinking about it, the Hellblazer and Preacher books seemed more appropriate. Garth Ennis always had a way of combining religion and gore in some sort of thoughtful way.

Holy Councilman: This is about mankind's salvation.
Starr: This is about my genitals. Go on to extinction, holy men.

Ok, maybe he just fits my way of thinking. So is this.



Here's to hoping the movie will be as good as the trailer.

UPDATE: I had to change the video since Sony claimed rights to the R-rated version of the trailer. Grr!

Frogs have it easy. They can eat what bugs them.
-- Unknown

Did you ever hear the story about the man that started drinking a Diet Pepsi and there was something in it? After gagging, the man saw the contents looked like pink linguini and some other dark stuff. He and his wife freaked out thinking there was a mouse inside.

Now Consumerist shows that there is an upside to this story: Good News! That Dead Mouse In Your Diet Pepsi Was Actually A Toad.

So of course I grossed out a few people from work about this. Me, I was laughing for abit about it. Yes its gross and disgusting, but it damn well reminded me of this original Monty Python skit.



Andrew Zimmern would be proud.

I come in peace. I didnt bring artillery. But I am pleading with you with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I'll kill you all.
-- Lt. General James Mattis, USMC

We all need help every so often, especially when starting on something new. Many speakers make a fortune motivating others to do things they normally wouldnt do themselves. R. Lee Ermey has always been one of my favorite speakers. Here is a sample of his good work. Just dont play it in front of the kids (NSFW).



The only drawback with this sort of thing is that when a lad gets beat up enough, he either ends up going mad or blowing his brains out in the bathroom. Sometimes both.

If you feel like singing along: Don't.
-- James Taylor

We all have those moments where we embarass ourselves. Most of mine tend to come up when I'm singing and thats because someone is inevitably wiping the blood from their ears. Ha!

Last week it was in the office when an intern could hear me singing In The End quietly to myself. From a row away.

This week it was in the car while singing this song.

Wonderwall by Oasis


The unplugged version seemed to fit this occasion. Prior to the show being taped, lead singer Liam Gallagher bowed out, citing a "sore throat." His brother and lead guitar, Noel, took over the singing duties and performed absolutely brilliantly.

Unlike the lad who sang this tune while sitting at a red light, with the windows wide open, and the group of girls in the next car.

Let no one weep for me, or celebrate my funeral with mourning; for I still live, as I pass to and fro through the mouths of men.
-- Quintus Ennius

You can only be sad for so long. It cant rain all the time. So smile and do a little dance. Here, lets help you along the way.

Motown Philly by Boys II Men

Whatever the struggle, continue the climb. It may be only one step to the summit.
-- Diane Westlake

Its been hectic again so I havent been doing the updates like I'm supposed to do. Despite all the craziness and headaches, it was nothing compared to what others have been going through. Last week, the Fat Cyclist's beloved wife, Susan, passed away. Her battle with cancer was so inspiring and had touched so many people. Even some guy named Lance.

Our condolences go out to Fatty's family and friends. I may never be eloquent as others, but I can say that you will get to be with her again soon, sir.

Until that time comes, we will continue to fight like Susan. The battle isnt done yet. Allez Fatty! Win!

Here lies one whose name was writ in water.
-- John Keats

There are just some days when you want to play the music loud and proud. So mix it up and enjoy yourselves.

Remember The Name by Fort Minor

Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte

I've lost my frigging mind, not that its any surprise to anyone. More evidence of this lies in the new multi-sport bicycle I bought. Otherwise known as a time-trial or triathlon bike, it requires the rider to be leaning more forward on the handlebars to be in a more aerodynamic postion.



Its not that I plan on doing any time trials or triathlons in any near future, but I wanted to try something a little different. After all, my off-road cycling skills are already pretty well renown. Thats because I've hit almost every fracking tree at the local park and could be heard swearing from miles away. I cant even remember if I was banned from there for two years or three.

Anyways, it was a chance to diversify and improve what little skill I have. well, that and I made the mistake of talking to the same bike shop guy who sold me my last four bikes. I might as well call him my dealer.

When he knocked off another 20% from Quintana Roo's Seduza, it felt like giving crack to a recovering addict. If I had the chance, I probably would have snorted this thing up my nose somehow.



So now here I am with yet another bicycle in the house. Nevermind that she is one of the lightest bikes I've ever owned. Nevermind that she is one of the fastest bikes I've had. And nevermind that she rides like an absolute dream. The other four bikes are plotting my death out of jealousy. I can hear them.

As I did my first ride, this song came on my mp3 player and everything just fell into place.



How ironic.

That's what I love about Torchwood. By day, you're chasing the scum of the universe. Come midnight, you're the wedding fairy.
-- Ianto from Torchwood: Something Borrowed

I dont know about you lot, but I found Torchwood: Children of Earth absolutely frigging brilliant. Season two was fairly weak in my humble opinion, so this season brings the series back to the way it was meant to be. After watching this on BBC America, I've been craving more. Thankfully, the dvd comes out this Tuesday.



Now if we can only convince BBC to continue on with another season.

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
-- Steven Wright

Its been a pretty hectic week. With everything going on, its been constant motion. Just go, go, go. Continuously climbing up that hill. Pedal, pedal, pedal.

So in this brief moment of quiet, here is a little something that kept creeping into my mind through this maddening time.

Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel


I'm glad I'm not the only guy that sings while riding a bicycle. Heh.

I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen.
-- Mitch Hedberg

This year's Tour de France really has been one of the more exciting one over the years. Its definately something to look forward to as the race goes on.

Of course, the Versus channel is milking this as much as possible. Before the name change, the channel was OLN, the Outdoor Life Network. Even then, the joke was OLN actually stood for the Only Lance Network. Ha!

And so it still continues where Versus has been showing repeats of Tours gone past. One of those Tours that always comes to mind is the huge crash Joseba Beloki had six years ago to this day. Every time I watch it, the footage just makes me cringe just as much as it did when I first watched it back then. If you listen carefully, you can hear Beloki's screams as the support crew check on him.



The crash was so bad that Beloki's femur broke in two places and pretty much finished his career as a professional racer.

So when you're on the road, take care out there, even if you arent a professional. After all, we just want to ride our bicycles.

I lost some time once. It's always in the last place you look for it.
-- Neil Gaiman

The Team Time Trial for the Tour de France is on at the moment and as always, I'm loving it. For those that dont follow the sport, the Team Time Trial has the nine man team get from point A to point B as fast as possible. The team that gets there in the fastest time wins the day.

And if you fall behind or crash, your team has no qualms about leaving your arse behind. Thats because the clock stops when the fifth man crosses the finish line.

With everyone trying to stay together and flying down the road, its not uncommon for riders to crash. Case in point, the team of Bouygues Telecom just had four guys crash while going around a sharp corner. Ow ow ow...

On another note, here are four guys who have survived together over the years.

Dani California by The Red Hot Chili Peppers


Time just seems to fly for all of us, doesnt it?

This is not a war for the independence of one or two colonies, but for the independence of one nation.
-- Colonel Burwell from The Patriot

Tomorrow is the Fourth of July, the day where we Americans celebrate our freedom. Never forget that freedom isnt free. Somehow, somewhere, someone paid the price for our freedom. And that is what we should remember. That is something I will never forget.

So not only will I be celebrating that, I will also be celebrating the start of the Tour de France. Lance Armstrong is back in the race although he has already made it known that he is there to help out his team, not for himself. Not this time.

I recalled an ad Armstrong did back when he was the U.S. Postal team. The imagery always made me think that he wasnt riding for himself, but rather for the cause.



And somewhere along the lines, I had forgotten what I told myself at the beginning of the year: Just Do It.

Thanks for the reminder, Lance.

There's no love in your violence.
-- Kakihara from Ichi The Killer

An entry from today's Gizmodo caught my eye. The trailer for RoboGeisha is definately one of those movies that I've been missing out on. Blood, violence, blood, silliness, blood, and mayhem are pretty much standard in most Japanese horror or gore flicks.

Think of the many Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriquez films that are available nowadays. From Dusk Till Dawn, Planet Terror, and Kill Bill to name a few. Now put those movies on crack and you have Japanese minds such as Takashi Miike and Noboru Iguchi.

Because sane people dont have the imagination to make films such as these. WARNING: These are NSFW. They probably arent for weak stomachs either.

RoboGeisha


Machine Girl


I had seen this special before I saw the movie, but I definately have to agree with everyone's assessment of Takashi Miike's Audition. When I finally got to watch it, I was cringing madly while screaming "Holy shite! Holy shite!"



Is it no wonder so many American film-makers are remaking Japanese films?

Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
-- The Joker from Batman

Earlier, one of the few Neil Young songs I actually like came on while I was busy stuffing my face. I think the only reason I like it is because its probably the only Young song I can sing without butchering it too badly.

Harvest Moon by Neil Young


No, I'm wrong. I still butcher the hell out of it.

At least its one of those good old fashioned mellow songs that lasts the test of time as well as my pathetic attempts to sing.

The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.
-- James Taylor

Death has been in news alot lately. David Carradine. Iran. Ed McMahon. Iran. Farrah Fawcett. Ir.. Wait! Michael Jackson?!

Yes, the King of Pop died today. Despite his truly strange antics, he did leave an imprint on the music industry and the world. His influence spanned across people and artists for generations.

There were video games made after him. His videos became a standard for future artists. Does anyone remember Captain Eo? How about the Filipino prison dance crew that danced to Thriller? The cover of Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm is absolutely brilliant. The man became a parody for shows such as Mad TV and Family Guy. Jackson even played a part in the career of one Wierd Al Yankovic, who became well known after making parodies such as Eat It and Fat.

Lets face it. He'll be up there in the tabloids and soon, he will be sighted in a 7-Eleven grabbing a Slushee with Elvis. Then Vegas will be over-run with Michael impersonators, doing weddings and bar mitzvahs.

So instead of the typical tribute song, I opted for something slightly different. Here is a little music reflecting Jackson's influence, not only in the lyrics, but also in the fact that same guy, Wierd Al, directed the video.

Rockin' The Suburbs by Ben Folds


Tomorrow, it will be back to more serious business such as Iran and Korea. For now, its just a trip down memory lane and our little point in history.

Oh Ned, I'm scared. I'm dying. Don't tell nobody. Don't tell my kids, none of the things I done, hear me?
-- william Munny from Unforgiven

Today is Father's Day and while my own father and I dont have a brilliant relationship, he is still the patriarch of the family. I couldnt come up with any great ideas what to get him for this obvious Hallmark sort of holiday.

I thought perhaps this would help.



Well that would never happen so at least he got a consolation prize: a nice paper card. There wasnt much to say in it though.

"Hey Dad. What do you think about your son now?"

Take A Picture by Filter


At least, I included the envelope.

Wendy: Is Mike Hunt here? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?
Meat: Everybody in town, from what I hear.
-- from Porky's

Today was one of those interesting days. Waking up at 5a and its already over 80 degrees means its going to make for long, hot day. The first MS training ride started at 7:30a and by then, it had already climbed to nearly 90. So when you are pedaling at 20mph, the wind is a blessing and a curse.

Still, it was damn good ride, especially when several of the teams formed large pacelines along the road. Being in a line with 10 to 15 riders makes a huge difference.

Well, that and there was beer at the end of the ride. Beer before 11a. What a concept.



So then add on the Asian Pride Day that was going on downtown. The heat has gotten to 100 by this point and what do you do? You stand out in an open venue with little shade and stand around booths.

I felt bad for the people working the booths. They were sweating up a storm and couldnt really do anything about it. A few of them got even with the tourists though.

They made us stand in line while we waited for the most excellent food, especially for the smoked pig. And yes, thats a full cooked pig. Doesnt it look good?



It tasted really good too.


So no matter how much we complained about the heat, it was nothing to what he felt.

I remember how hard it was when I realized my father was a son of a bitch. I can't imagine what it must be like when you realize you raised one.
-- Jack McCoy from Law and Order

Gran Torino is an absolutely brilliant film. It reminded me of so many things on different levels: how I see my own family, my heritage, today's youth, the generation gaps.

I highly recommend this movie, especially if you arent Asian. Gran Torino is not the action-oriented film that the ads make it appear. Its definately alot more deeper than that.

Gran Torino by Jamie Cullem


Time to man up.

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
-- Stephen Wright

Mermaid and I were talking yesterday and from what we've gathered, she is a mime screamer, while her husband does his best work inside the mime box. So to speak.

I have no idea where I am going with this, but after I thought about it more, this song kept popping into my head.

Voices Carry by Til Tuesday


Thats it. I'm definately brain damaged.

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.
-- Shakespeare

I feel bad for anyone who sits by me at the office the past few days. I've been listening to Robert Schimmel and not doing a very good job of keeping the laughter down. Its not uncommon to get the strange look from passerbys as I snicker away, making the vain attempt to get work done.

Schimmel is definately not for the faint of heart or those that cant take a joke. The video is NSFW and make sure the kids are asleep.



Anyone want a popsicle?

I have lived long enough to satisfy both nature and glory.
-- Julius Caesar

Oh. My. God. When I saw this picture, I broke out laughing like a madman. Granted, I do that all the time, but nevermind that.

This reminded me of days gone by, when I had a car where the windows didnt come down, and our group of friends finished having Mongolian bbq for dinner. I was at a point in my life where I had never seen a grown man claw at a window furiously, trying to escape a moving vehicle, screaming madly "Oh dear God! Open a window! Open a window!"



Oh those were the days.

At some point later on, I'll have to tell you the story about Mountasia. Ha!

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
-- Erma Bombeck

Summer is coming upon us once more. If it werent for the all the parental type folks around me, I wouldnt even notice. But when the season is here, the song The Boys of Summer always pops in my head.

I know some people will call this blasphemy, but I prefer this version as opposed to the original by Don Henley. It just wants to make you rock.

The Boys Of Summer by The Ataris


On the other hand, the cover by DJ Sammy makes you want to dance.

Dont laugh. Your daughter could be inside.
-- seen on bumper sticker

Once again, it was time for the Diabetes Association's Tour De Cure. Wind, sand, and heat make for really wonderful cycling weather. Especially the wind. And the heat.

Did I mention the wind?



For some odd reason, there were more accidents during the first day than the entire event last year. Team Blue had one rider that left with a broken foot. Another team had a rider get a broken clavicle. Another crash occurred when a rider was cut off by his girlfriend. He described the crash to us within earshot while he filled out an accident report.

Q: Describe nature of accident.
A: My girlfriend cut me off, made me fall over and go boom!

Q: Describe injuries
A: Really big boo boo! Cuts on my leg and arm. My hip hurts. The damage to my head doesnt count. That was like that before the accident.

Q: Name of provider that attended to the injuries
A: My girlfriend, who happens to be a nurse. It was her fault anyway.



Yeah, it was that kind of weekend, but it was definately worth it. The two day event is one of the few vacations I actually take. With my bad knee giving me grief throughout the ride, the whirlpool in the hotel room made the trip worthwhile.



Cheers, mates. Time to heal and get ready for the next event.

I had to stop driving my car for a while. The tires got dizzy.
-- Steven Wright

I dont know how this came up, but the discussion for auto racing came up today. I'm not really a fan of Nascar. I have always been more into F1 and World Championship Rally. They always seemed to fit my style of driving.

This video has been around for a number of years, but its still one of the best around.



I may have to break out the old Colin McRae games.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
-- George Carlin

I had forgotten about this song. Now this would be something that would pretty damn good to play in Rock Band.

Pure Massacre by Silverchair

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
-- General George Patton

Its Memorial Day. Around this time, I tend to watch The Big Red One again. written and directed by Samuel Fuller, a WWII vet, this was one of the quintessential WWII pieces long before Saving Private Ryan and Band Of Brothers.

The words and scenes expressed have long carried what it meant to be a solder:
I'm gonna dedicate my book to those who shot, but didn't get shot. Because it's about survivors. And surviving is the only glory in war, if you know what I mean.



Honor those that did their duty. Many still bear the scars while others paid the price. And without them, we wouldnt be here.

I can't help you with what you must soon face except to say that the future is not set. You must be stronger than you imagine you can be. You must survive or I will never exist.
-- John Connor's message in The Terminator

From Least I Could Do


Terminator Salvation was pretty good, but you have had to watch all the prior movies for it to make a little sense.

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.
-- Penn Jillett

This is a great video with a mix of Matrix Reloaded and Linkin Park. Hope you find it as brilliant as I did.

1STP KLOSR by Linkin Park

I've had this taste in my mouth before.
-- Mrs. Freidman from Hollywood Knights

I will admit that I am immature enough that I laughed at this one. Get over it.

It reminded me of that scene from American Pie where Stifler drinks the tainted beer. Heh.



The ironic part is that there really is a Chinese place called Fu King.

Did you hear? Kermit The Frog died today from the swine flu. His last words were "That fucking pig told me she was clean!"
-- from a recent conversation

I cant take credit for that since it was told to me. Nor can I take credit for the video below, which gives a new meaning to a lubejob. Some guy was even willing to open his mouth and swallow a load.

All I can say is I got your bacon bits right here, baby.



Hat tip: Gizmodo

Nobody cares for you anymore. You're tarnished and you're filthy.
-- Ghost from Perfect Blue

Satoshi Kon's masterpiece, Perfect Blue, is on. I've always loved the storyline and its notion of identity. At some point in time, you are asked "What do you do now?"

Protege Moi by Placebo


So, what now?

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
-- George Carlin

I've been listening to a lot of Living Colour lately. Vernon Reid is ever the madman on the guitar while Corey Glover can still scream with the best singers. Their lyrics always struck a chord with me.

You feel the Earth revolving.
You See the Sun dissolving
And hear the night calling out to you.
You have no direction
You have no protection
What are you going to do
When your trip turns blue?
You come crashing down.
There is no help around.
You need friends.
You need help
But first you have to help yourself...

Desperate People by Living Colour


When it comes right down to it, its songs like this that best fits my mood as of late.

It happens sometimes. Friends come in and out of our lives, like busboys in a restaurant.
-- The Writer from Stand By Me

If you havent figured it out yet, music is one of my passions. Its probably the one thing in my life that I cant totally fuck up, unlike everything else. heh.

As much as I make fun of country, bluegrass, folk, or gospel, I will listen to it if it strikes my fancy. And then when a group like Playing For Change blends all kinds of wordly music together to make something as beautiful as this, how can one not take notice? Even a snob such as myself.

I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.



Hat tip: Gizmodo

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.
-- Kurt Cobain

I make it quite clear that I'm not a fan of country music, but I will listen to it if I actually like the song. So when I caught this video, I couldnt resist it especially when it fits so close.

Online by Brad Paisley


Why oh why didnt I take the blue pill?!

Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard are sweeter.
-- John Keats

Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups


Damn you Rock Band. I find myself singing this more often now.

A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows public opinion.
-- Chinese Proverb

Somewhere along the way, it seems that people have forgotten that opinions are like asses; everyone has one. Some more than others.

Take for example, Carrie Prejean, the runner-up for the recent Miss USA contest. Its widely known she lost the contest because she doesnt agree with gay marriage and said so during the event. That was her opinion and she was honest enough to say it.

The one judge who didnt agree gave her a lower score because of that opinion. That was his perogative as a judge. But then afterwards to call her a bitch on his public forum was abit much. Apparently, she was a bitch because she didnt agree to his beliefs.

How ironic. Sounds alot like discrimination.

After all, someone doesnt subscribe to the same beliefs as you, they must be a hate-monger. If they dont look like you or dont act like you, they are wrong. They must be evil and be vilified.

Thats just my humble opinion.

So if she lied and said she did agree with it, would she have won? Would he have called her been absolutely brilliant? A role model to kids? An stunning beauty? Probably.

That would have made her a hypocrite. As opposed to a bitch.

But then again, thats just my opinion. You dont have to agree with me. We'll just agree to disagree.

Along those lines, I just had to include this video. I had seen the original commercial and died laughing. It really isnt the best tool to convince parents to buy a kid's meal. Perhaps if I had kids that were 10 or so, I wouldnt mind so much, but if I had kids under that age, it wouldnt make me want to buy the meal.

Thats the best thing about disagreeing with a corporation. You can show your disagreement by taking your shopping priviledge elsewhere.

Regardless, I still find it damn funny, not to mention, original as hell.



Booty is booty. Some just have more than others.

[Update: The original video was removed by the user so I put in another one, but the quality wasnt as good. Still funny as hell though. Might have to turn off the annoying annotations.]

So long as you live and work, you will be misunderstood. To that you must resign yourself once and for all. Be silent!
-- Johann Wolfgang van Goethe

Given Up by Linkin Park


Have I mentioned that I've been working on my taxes?

And on that note, we cue the music.
-- Brodie from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

I'm not really a fan of country music, but I definately can get into this. Well at least the female versions.

Show Them To Me by Rodney Carrington


Hat tip: Wynter

No, see this is a really shit idea. You know why? Because it's really obviously a shit idea.
-- Jim from 29 Days Later

Slumdog Millionaire came out this on DVD, but I'm actually not interested in it at the moment. Maybe later.

If a Danny Boyle film is to be on the menu, I highly recommend 28 Days Later. The post-apocolyptic film has a great script and a brilliant cast. Back when the film was originally released, a few of the actors werent well known, but now Cillian Murphy (The Dark Knight), Naomie Harris (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's chest), Brendan Gleeson (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire), and Chistopher Eccleston (Doctor Who) have made a name for themselves.

Then you add the soundtrack to the movie and everything becomes spot on.

The movie's theme just seems to fit the zombie/infected/undead genre from any clip. For example, here's the extended trailer from the game Resident Evil 5. (Turn off the annotation if you dont want to see the annoying embedded ad)

In The House, In A Heartbeat by John Murphy


Come to think of it, I still havent seen Sunshine, which also was directed by Boyle and stars Murphy.

Damn. I'm really behind on everything.

Peter, I got a wax job and lets just say, you're cleared for landing!
-- Lois from Family Guy

I make no qualms about being a nerd. After all, nerds have taken over the world.

Dont believe me? Try not using your cell phone for a week and see how well you handle that.

As a nerd, I was estactic when Star Trek: The Next Generation was doing a reunion on another favorite show of mine, Family Guy. Can we say Rah?! This was like the time when somebody decided to put their chocolate in the peanut butter. Or was it they put the peanut butter on the chocolate...?

Anyways, Hulu was kind enough to post the episode so here you go for the folks who didnt have time (or had more common sense than me) to watch the show.

And before anyone gives me any grief about the content remember, its just a tv show! Do not take it seriously! There are enough things to be serious about in the world. This is not one of them.

This frigging game is ruining my life.
-- Hatch from Victory

I know I've been amiss in my updates. I injured my back in a couple of weeks ago and so sitting properly in a chair was abit of a struggle. Its also played a part in tonight's game.

I know I'm not a good soccer player. Hell, I'm not even a decent player. I wouldnt even qualify as an average player. Maybe a substandard one, but thats perhaps ranking it abit high. But I know the rules well enough to kick the ball. Its enough for me to enjoy the game.

Most folks know I play in the company intermural league and as one friend put it: "I would rather lose with this team than win with some of the others."

I've got some really excellent team-mates. Our team, BC United, always has so much fun and we get along really well. Every game just seems so memorable that its hard not to laugh all the way thru a match. Of course winning makes it so much better.

Tonight's match was hard fought with our team winning 2-1. Major plus in my view. Downside was that I did absolutely nothing to help in the matter.

This being injured for the past 2 weeks sucks. Its no wonder professional athletes always seem to be chomping at the bit after being injured. Every time I ran, minor shots of pain went up my spine. My inability to rotate properly made me slower than normal. I was called a rag doll every time I tried to reach for a ball and ended up just flailing. I couldnt even get full power on kick without kicking the ground more.

Then my endurance was shot all to hell. It used to take a half of a game for me to even warm up. Today, I barely lasted 10 minutes without gasping for air.

And after all this bitching, we still had a brilliant time.

We were physical. We were running constantly. We were frigging tired.

Every time players crashed into each other, both teams went "OOOOOOWWW!" All of us were yelling back and forth, encouraging each other on. Well that or making fun of each other.

United Sidelines: Ken! Go left!
I go to the right
United Sidelines: No! The other left!

At least I didnt get the most memorable moment of the game.

United Keeper: Clear the ball!
Goldie, United Defender: I got it!
Goldie picks up the ball from the ground with her hands
Both Teams: Nooooo!
Whistle blows for the penalty

She's going to be hearing about that one for a very, very, very long time.

Whiskey is God's way of preventing the Irish from taking over the world.
-- from a recent conversation

I hope everyone had a good St Patrick's Day. Today should have been a fun, joyful day regardless of your heritage, but if you are Irish, then its a plus.

This brought up a story Lillith told me:
An American couple is visiting through rural Ireland near the county of Kilkenny. They were amazed by the views and the countryside, but they were even amazed by the people. In their short time there they had met Thomas the baker, Jane the tailor, and Brian the fisherman, all of whom were quite proud of their title.

But when they met Seamus, the couple couldnt understand why he wasnt proud of his name. From what they understood the man was not only a mason, but a boxer as well. So over a pint, they asked him "Arent you proud of your work? You work hard, dont you?"

The depressed Irishman replied "Oh if people called me by work, that would be fine. Seamus the Mason. Seamus the Boxer. I would even settle for Seamus the Drunk. That would be absolutely brilliant. But no! Fuck one sheep and you are stuck with that name for life!"

Heh.

On the musical front, I wasnt sure if I wanted to go traditional or modern Celtic. So of course, I opted for both...





Time for a Guinness. Slainte!

Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.
-- Rob from High Fidelity

Yeah, there are just some days that are just like this.



The only thing to do? Say FIDO: Fuck it and Drive On.

Now, I'm gonna open my fly and you're gonna swallow what I give ya to swallow. And after you swallow mine, you're gonna swallow Rooster's cause ya done broke his nose and I think he oughta have something to show for it.
-- Boggs from The Shawshank Redemption

I've been known to make a few inappropriate comments in my life, but when I saw this, I almost cried from laughing so hard. It didnt help my sore back any.

Worse part was that after the last segment I found myself imitating King Louis from History of The World Part I: Come on. You do it. You love to do it.



Hat Tip: Gizmodo

At midnight, all the agents and superhuman crew go out and round up everyone who knows more than they do.
-- Bob Dylan

To put it simply: wow.



Update: Damn. This video was taken down too. For anyone that didnt get a chance to see it, the video contained the high quality version of the opening for Watchmen while playing Bob Dylan's Things Are A Changing. Ironic how that song was also used in the book too.

Now I'm really going to have to watch this thing.

The folks you help wont remember it and the folks you hurt wont ever forget it.
-- Bill Clayton

How the hell did I forget about this video? The song flows along with the striking cinematography, adding onto its harshness and anger. The imagery still rivals many of the so-called horror films of today.

I have no idea if the animation was done by Todd McFarlene, but to my untrained eye, its pretty damn close.

Come to think of it, I believe I saw Andrew Zimmern eat something similar to what Fred Durst had.

All the jumping and leaping around always reminded me of when Starfury and I went to the same kung fu school as Wes Borland, the guitarist. He was always a nimble sod, even back then.

That was a lifetime ago. No wonder my memory is failing me... Along with everything else.

Boiler by Limp Bizkit



Update: Changed video location since this wasnt allowed in the US apparently. Bastards.

There’s a huge hole in the whole Flood drama because anything that could float or swim got away scot-free.
-- Eddie Izzard

Makes you kind of wonder if Noah ever sang something similiar to this. And if he didnt, maybe he should have...

I'm On A Boat by The Lonely Island

Some people die at 25 and arent buried until 75.
-- Benjamin Franklin

I'm still determined to work on that giving up being a nice person thing.

The Kill by 30 Seconds To Mars w Pitty


Apparently, I'm not doing a good job of it. Damn it.

The rain on my car is a baptism. The new me. Ice Man. Power Lloyd. My assault on the world begins now.
-- Lloyd from Say Anything

Today is Ash Wednesday so that means Lent has started. We are supposed to give up something during this time period. Something that would make us a better person.

So I've decided to give up being a nice guy. Apparently, being a romantic dreamer is not appropriate in today's world. You have to be a complete bastard in order to make some headway these days.

So thats it. I'm going to start being total prat to everything and everyone.



Umm. Ok. Maybe tomorrow.

Well, if you think thats offensive, check this out! I think you can see her kidneys!
-- Randal from Clerks

I dont rant here as much as I used to because we have enough opinionated people in the world as it is. And as the saying goes, opinions are like assholes; everyone has one. But this one is too annoying and too humourous at the same time.

So I've read this story where an asian woman is sueing Miley Cyrus for making a face with slated eyes to a camera. All this to the tune of $4 billion dollars. Apparently, this woman, Lucie Kim, feels that her civil rights were violated by this act. To this I say, shut the hell up!

Keep in mind that I am asian and in no way, offended by this picture. How the hell were you damaged by some stupid teenager making a face at the camera? If you were so hurt by this act, why arent you sueing the other teenager in the photo thats doing the exact thing as Cyrus?!

I would highly suspect its because that kid is unknown and has no money.

What about the actual Asian kid sitting with them in the photo?! Does he look offended? Wouldnt it be his civil rights that were violated?! After all, he is the one in the picture!

So if anyone was to get any money out of this, it definately should be him. You, Ms Kim, and any one else in that class action suit, should not see a single penny.

If anything, we Americans, Asian or otherwise, should find this lawsuit insulting. All this has done is use up valuable tax dollars and, in my personal opinion, make us Asians fit some sort of greedy stereotype.

If we really are going sue somebody, sue the jackasses that greenlighted Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li. Did we not learn anything from the Van Damme debacle?

Why wasnt the Asian community in such an uproar over this:


"Ability to mate?" What kind of fracking stereotype is that?! What kid talks like that?! Well, beside me when I was that age.

So to make a long story longer, the whole point to this rant is that we have better things to worry about than some stupid kid making faces. Because in this case, its pretty apparent that its not about hurt feelings; its about the money. And that is what is really offensive.

If we want to be offended, we can watch this:

It turned out that the sweet talking, tattoo sporting pikey was a gypsy bareknuckle boxing champion, Which makes him harder than a coffin nail. Right now, thats the last thing on Tommy's mind. If Gorgeous doesn't wake up in the next few minutes, Tommy knows he'll be buried with him. Why would the gypsies go through the trouble of explaining why a man died in their campsite when they can bury the pair of them and just move camp? Its not like they got social security numbers, is it? Tommy, the tit, is praying. And if he isn't, he fucking should be.
-- Turkish from Snatch

I was cleaning out the cd collection and found this one covered with dust. It always reminded me of the movie Snatch and one of my other favorite quotes from the film:
Now.. We are fucked.

Stick Em Up by Quarashi

I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing.
-- Neil Gaiman

So exactly what have we learned, class?

The Freshmen by The Verve Pipe

Hollister: Just how obscene an amount of cash are we talking about here? Profane or really offensive?
Edward: Really offensive.
-- from Pretty Woman

Curse you XM Radio for your musical goodness! Here is another song they've been playing so much of that the bloody thing is stuck in me head. Just like my gray hair.

King Of Wishful Thinking by Go West

Just because you've got a plasma screen tv and a big DVD collection doesn't mean you're a free man, motherfucker. You're just a well paid slave like all the other cattle out there.
-- Wesley from Wanted (novel)

XM Radio has been playing this song alot as of late. I've always liked the video with its mixture of text and sayings. Its been an influence on the digital pictures I do.

The song always struck a chord with me, but the quote at the end of the video was the best part.

Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
-- Stephen Wright

Frack me. I know this feeling.



Especially today when my twins took a shot. Dead center.

Now please excuse me while I go get another ice pack.

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
-- Homer Simpson

I originally wasnt going to post this here, but I couldnt whittle the story down to under 140 characters. Its way too funny not to include anything.

Mermaid and I were chatting when she shares this little tidbit:
My husband and I have started training for this half marathon. This morning we were going to go out for a run so he tried to wake me up early. I was still half asleep when he was trying to wake me up. The good way.

I told him "Look, we can either run or we can have sex. We cant do both." Which one do you think he chose? The obvious choice!

Afterwards, I go into the kitchen and my son is already there, holding a mug of hot water. He started to put a teabag into it, which is really unusual for him. He normally doesnt drink tea. So I asked him "Honey, are you really going to drink that tea?"

To which, my son replies "Oh no, Mom. It sounded like you were were sick so I thought you may need this."

We came to these conclusions:
1) If her husband hadnt chosen the sex, we would have to revoke his man card.
2) Their son is going to need therapy once he gets old enough to realize what he heard.

There are three classes of people: those who see, those who see when they are shown, and those who do not see.
-- Leondardo da Vinci



From Tiny Ghosts.

No one loves more fiercely than a madman.
-- Kenshiro from Fist of the North Star

Happy Hallmark Day!

Most folks I know dont celebrate this sort of thing in standard fashion. For example, Gi told her husband not to send flowers because she saw it as a waste of money. RH and his wife dont bother with it. They've been married long enough as it is.

Of course, there is the other side of the coin. RG wasnt allowed to go out to play with the rest of us kids. His wife pretty much said he better stay home. Or else. Heh.

Isnt love grand?

Valentine's Day by Linkin Park

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
-- Dave Barry

This reminds me of someone I know.



Yeah, she told me something similiar.

You can program any man's libido by careful use of the word "naked." Just slip it subtly into the coversation every now and then. Its a scientific fact that if you say the word "naked" three or more times to any man, he has to cross his legs.
-- Sally from Coupling

Here's a reminder to the lads. Valentine's Day is this Saturday.



Doug and I said that we would like to see her naked too. Steve would agree.