Castle Shima

Nice palm. I read a great deal of pleasure in your future.
-- from a Taco Bell sauce packet

::: Tower View :::
I Got Six Little Friends
...And they can all run faster than you...


Ok, hard drinkers. Lets drink hard.

Which B-Movie Badass Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

hat tip: Julie
**********

I Got Your Quiz Right Here
Appropriated from Angelia.

A- Age of my first kiss: 12
B- Band I am listening to right now: Mercy Drive
C- Crush: Yes, I'm feeling crushed. Why?
D- Dad's name: Dad
E- Easiest person to talk to: Definately not me!
F- Favorite ice cream: Cookies and Cream
G- Gummy bears or gummy worms: Gummy Bears
H- Hometown: [CLASSIFIED]
I- Instruments: Piano, drums
J- Junior high: The 8th grade was the best four years of my life
K- Kids: The one currently at the keyboard
L- Longest car ride ever: The ride home after being suspended for fighting at school
M- Mom's name: Mom
N- Nickname: Kenny, Bastard... Depends on who you ask.
O- One wish: Hmmm... I think I I'll keep this one
P- Phobias: Dying alone
Q- Quote: I didnt say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
R- Reason to smile : Surviving the day
S- Song I last sang: In The End by Linkin Park (and I wouldnt call it singing)
T- Time I woke up today: I never got to sleep
U- Unknown fact about me: If I told, then it wouldnt be unknown, would it?
V- Vegetable(s): Green beans, corn
W- Worst habit: Obnoxious bossy behaviour
X- X-Rays I've had: 6?
Y- Years since I've been to church: Last Christmas
Z- Zodiac sign: Sagitarius
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Everyone is having more sex than me. And the video only proves it. Heh.
**********

Man pleads guilty to having sex with horse. This falls under the "What The Fu*k Where You Thinking?!" category.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Living In A Dream by Psuedo Echo

Fear lies over me
I feel it all around
Something is looking at me
And I think its got a crown
Its not a king or a Queen
But something in-between
Now I'm only hoping
I'm living in a dream
Its strange how things seem
When you are living in a dream

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

I used to have sex with a guy in a wheelchair. Our favorite position was sixty-nine. He called me "Meals on Wheels."
-- Lisa Lampanelli

::: Tower View :::
Yet More Random Silliness
1) Its World Toilet Week and apparently there is alot of sh*t going on. (hat tip: Anna)

2) Speaking of which, Anna, why exactly are you in Canada? The Grey cup was this weekend so you can come back now. Heh.

3) On the subject of toilets, I made the mistake of catching a certain part of the movie Jackass on Comedy Central. It was the scene where the guy goes to the hardware store and uses the demo toilet. Toilet paper and all. The entire time I was thinking "What the f**k am I doing watching this?!" The sad part was I actually sat thru the whole scene.

4) March Of The Pengins comes out tomorrow. I'll have to think about this one.

5) The PostSecret book is also out tomorrow. As a fan of the site, I will definately be getting this. Matter of fact, I need to add it to the links.
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Ric Flair takes out a driver. Showing once again, he is the dirtiest player in the game. Heh.
**********

The 24 Sex Tips From Women for Christmas. Great. Another present I have no use for.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Desperate People by Living Colour

Feel the earth revolving
See the sun dissolving
And the night coming after you
You have no direction
And you have no protection
What are you going to do when
Your trip turns blue?

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

Dee: Joanie, are you all right?
Me: She's just gagging. She wasnt sure if she wanted to spit or swallow.
-- from a conversation at work

::: Tower View :::
Where Is the Emma Watson Age-Of-Consent Counter?
I have to admit Harry Potter And The Goblet of Fire was pretty good. I thought the ending was abit weak, but since I havent read any of the books, I have no idea if its close.

The best part was there really wasnt as much of a flood on the pre-movie hype. Normally for the really crappy movies, they are being advertised by Burger King, McDonalds, etc, weeks before the movie even comes out.

The best thing I saw was the Sports Illustrated article on the World Cup of Quidditch. (Hat Tip: Muggle Net).

So if you got time, catch this flick. Just make sure you leave the kiddies at home...
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Reasons not to buy an Xbox360. Damn, J is going to be ticked.
**********

Crying woman saved from cremation. Pay your hospital bills or get fried.
**********

Student accused of urinating in ice machine. No wonder the soda tasted like there was a little wang in it.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Burning Inside My Light by Mercy Drive

Hey!
Nothing you can say
Nothing is going to change what you've done to me
Now its time to shine
I'm going to take what's mine
While you're going to burn inside my light

This is better known Randy Orton's theme.

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider, he sat down beside her and said "Hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?!"
-- Andrew Dice Clay

::: Tower View :::
Its Going To Be One Of Those Days
You know what is really annoying?

Say you are sitting in a meeting with senior management of the company, including a couple of vice presidents. They are looking at your group for the work you've done for the past couple of months.

Then ten minutes into the meeting you have to get up and run the bathroom because something didnt feel right.

So there you are in the restroom, realizing you have just embarrassed yourself by having your water breaking two weeks early, and you are going into labor.

Now you have to go back to the meeting, get your purse, and quietly apologize for leaving so early because your first born has decided that the meeting was so boring that even he had to get the hell out of there. Then you have to call your husband, call the hospital, drive your tail over there, all while the 7lb 4oz boy is attempting to escape his cell.

So begins the story of Riley, son of my coworker, Steffie.

Congrats to you kids! Now you really have a story to tell, hm?
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
The City Of Villains has invaded. Gah, and I havent even maxed my characters on City of Heroes yet.
**********

Parents blame newsgroup for assistanting daughter's suicide. Pointing the finger is always easier than looking in the mirror.
**********

Roberto Heras is suspended for positive EPO test. The Spainairds must be taking drug testing hints from the French. In the past 3 years, the Tour of Spain has 'suddenly' found EPO in their race contenders or winners, all of whom have been clean in all prior races throughout their entire careers.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
Like my fathers come to pass
Twenty years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

Joanie: I dont know if I would like the Asian sauce.
Me: Duh! You know you would like it.
-- from a lunch conversation

::: Tower View :::
What's In A Name?
The USA network has found their niche in the TV market by saying Characters Welcome.

They've given nicknames to a variety of characters from their shows, reflecting these personas and what they are about. "The Obsessive Detective," "The Reluctant Psychic," "The Cerebral Assassin," and "The Bad Apple" make these people sound larger than life.

All this made me wonder what names would we come up for ourselves? What could we come up with that would reflect who we are?

After thinking long and hard about this (all five minutes), I whiddled my list down to three:

1) The Angry Driver
2) The Arrogant Bastard
3) The Obnoxius Jackass

They all seem to fit the bill. Maybe I'll put my image up on their website with one of these names.
**********

Which Begs The Question
I found this under News Of The Wierd. Sorry to say, this one made me laugh.

Former Cornelius, N.C., dentist John Hall pleaded guilty in July (an "Alford plea," acknowledging only the sufficiency of the evidence against him) to seven counts of misdemeanor assault on female patients, specifically, squirting semen into their mouths from a syringe. The state Board of Dental Examiners had revoked his license in 2004 after finding two syringes of semen in his office with patients' DNA (from saliva) on them. Hall's sentence was five years' probation, and his lawyer said he thought Hall would move to Jacksonville, Fla., and go into the flooring and tile business.
[Charlotte Observer, 5-25-05]

So did he ask them "Do you swallow?"
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
The top 100 Toys of all time. Number one was fitting, but damn, I had alot of these.
**********

The 2006 Discovery Team line up is all set. Life without Lance begins.
**********

Ipod Nano under law suit for being defective. I always knew they were a piece of crap.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Summer of 69 by Bowling For Soup

Standing on your mama's porch
You told me we would last forever
And when you held my hand
I knew it was now or never...
Those were the best days of my life
Back in the summer of 69...

I have to admit this is a damn good cover...

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

Cartman, your ass is so big, when people walk by they say "God damn! Thats a big fat ass!".
-- Kyle from South Park

::: Tower View :::
Random Factoids That Only I Would Care About
With apologies to Peter King for stealing... err.. paraphrasing his title.

* Many thanks to Fury, Robbie V, and Badman for getting me back up and running. Stupid trojan.

* Congrats to Sonnie's son, Ayden. Cute little bugger.

* Damn Sims 2. Its still an addicting game.

* Mike Straka's article get the best comments: Grr to those that stand in line to buy lottery tickets. You look like hamsters whacking the feeder bar for more pellets.

* Heather can up with some of the strangest celebrity rumours I've ever heard.

* My Name Is Earl is one of the best shows thats come out so far. Jason Lee is just too cool.

* I still want to be Jet Li when I grow up. Unleashed is another hit from Li and from Luc Besson ("The Professional, "Twister"). Get the unrated version and you'll have the original UK release, Danny The Dog.

* Speaking of unrated versions, I need to pick up the unrated version of King Arthur. I have to admit that the movie was better than I thought.

* Damn it! This thought of movies just reminded me that the remake of The Fog opened this weekend.
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Jib Jab takes a shot at Big Box Mart. Showing the real meaning of discount prices.
**********

Blossom has a baby. Hmmm, I wonder if Six is still available.
**********

Coming soon: Nancy and Tonya - The Opera. You have got to be &$*^ing kidding me?!
**********

::: Background Noise :::
As you can tell from tonight's quote, its a repeat of South Park. This episode is when Kathy Lee Gifford comes to town and Cartman says those famous words "Beefcake! Beefcake!"

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

One problem is that I have short term memory loss. I've been working alot lately, but the problem is that I have short term memory loss .
-- George Cloony on The Tonight Show

::: Tower View :::
How Fitting

You are a Social Moderate (43% permissive) and an... Economic Moderate (56% permissive) You are best described as a: Centrist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Try this out. The one thing that my results dont show here are the famous faces that fall into the categories. You might be surprised.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Southwest kicks woman off of plane due to t-shirt. They should have kicked her off the plane while it was in the air. Stupidity abounds.
**********

Fake dog balls earns Ig Nobel prize. Talk about some brass balls.
**********

Gas prices lead to an increase in bicycle sales. Damn straight.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Our Lips Are Sealed by Hilary Duff

It doesnt matter what they say
In the jealous games
People play
Our lips are sealed
Pay no mind
To what they say
It doesnt matter anyway

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

What the hell is the point of camping? Its basically three days of you without your stuff. Oh yeah, lets make ourselves more uncomfortable. Thats a hell lot of fun.
-- Mark Gross

::: Tower View :::
Captain Obvious Visits The Office
Last week there was a dept meeting about what was going on in the company, in our dept, and what our goals are. The typical corporate bs. One point of concern was the declining morale on the floor.

On Friday, a feedback survey on the meeting was sent out, asking everyone to comment. We got the results back today.

For the single question What made this meeting interesting?, the best responses I saw were:
* Great breakfast!
* Thanks for breakfast
* The food was really good
* These meetings arent supposed to be interesting
* This really wasnt an interesting meeting. I've heard it all before.

Gee, does it sound like we have a morale problem?
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Tourist season has a new meaning in Florida. An armed society is a polite society.
**********

Go to Alaska B4UDIE. GO2HELL.
**********

Man lives with dead mother for twenty years. Norman Bates went to India?
**********

Doctor sued for treating back pain with sex. It wasnt the treatment that made her mad, but the fact each session lasted only 45 minutes.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Otherside by Red Hot Chili Peppers

How long,
How long will I slide?
Separate my side...
I don't,
I don't believe it's bad...
Slit my throat
It's all I ever...

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

Natalie: Geez, my butt really hurts. It really got worked over.
Denise: Rob can understand that.
-- from a conversation during spin class

::: Tower View :::
Yet Another Toy
In an effort to be more organized and portable, I broke down and picked up a PDA. Palm's Tungsten E2 is a pretty good deal considering there was a couple of rebates from Palm and Circuit City, knocking the price under $200.


I've been going thru the hassle of transferring stuff from the old leather bound organizer to the little silver box. This should allow me to be more mobile so that I can start commuting to the office via bicycle again.

So what have I been trying to figure out what to do with the darn thing? Debating which of these images I want to use as my background.


Yeah, it was a good purchase... heh...
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
There's no way we can make it across unless.... Yeee-hhaaw!
**********

Man sends assault pig to fend off eviction. At 200lbs, thats alot of bacon.
**********

The Interbike vendor show is going on now. Frig! I could have met Levi!
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day

Read between the lines
Of what's f***ed up
And everything's alright
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

You might be a redneck if Date Night consists of going to the gun show with your wife.
-- Starfury

::: Tower View :::
Its All About The Suffering
I havent had time lately to post anything, but I've finally gotten time to mention this event. This past weekend, Team KBT, as well as over 2,000 other bicyclists rode in the annual charity event.

This was 162 miles of pure pleasure; a two day event with 81 miles each day.Here are some things that came to mind after this grueling ride:

* Its a matter of perspective when a support driver who has air conditioning says "Oh, the wind isnt so bad" or "Its not that hot outside."

* Lovebugs are a source of protein. Feel free to eat them when they decide to build a home on your lunch plate.

* Glass on a bridge is not a good thing, especially while descending.

* Doughnuts: the real breakfast of champions.

* "Five more minutes?!" Pffft..!!

* Clipless pedals are designed not to release your foot at any time, especially at stop lights, rest stops, and any emergency in which you may wish to move your foot.

* Its not really a crash unless you swear afterwards. Excessively. Otherwise, its just a misjudgment in height alignment.

* Pouring the water bottle over your head not only cools you off, but is a great remedy for helmet hair.

* Mmmm... snow cones...

* They didnt serve spaghetti for dinner. It was pasta covered in ketchup.

* I still got to be a jackass by doing a winning pose at the finish line, even if we were one of the last groups coming in.


**********

::: Background Noise :::
Night Of The Living Dead is on Starz Action.

Its the original George Romero version from the 1970's and still one of the best low budget movies made.

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

First, there is no race issue here.... Many, many people died. Black people. White people. Hispanic people. Death doesn't care what race you are.
-- from Miss Gordy's letter in Mike Straka's article.

::: Tower View :::
Simple Questions
Now that Ophelia has become a hurricane again and an evacuation order has been given, will the folks in North Carolina sit there and wait for the government to rescue them?

Since the govenor has already declared a state of emergency and actually requested federal help, will there be the same outrage like we saw the past two weeks?

Were those parents' really pissed off that much that they had their kids in cages?!

Why in the hell do my legs still hurt from Sunday's ride?

How in the hell did I get talked into riding 75 miles?!

And most importantly, do I have any Twinkies left?
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Bruce Lee, the new Bosnian hero. Be like water, my friends.
**********

New Orleans strip club determined to re-open. Its time to make the doughnuts.
**********

Soccer player gets slashed in lower abdominal region during game. The fact he went back in just makes me cringe.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Beverly Hills by Weezer

Beverly Hills
Thats where I want to be
Living in Beverly Hills
Beverly Hills
Rolling like a celebrity
Living in Beverly Hills

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

Hey baby! One night with me and you'll be breathing heavier than Ruben Studdard on a Stairmaster!
-- Craig Shoemaker

::: Tower View :::
Losing My Mind
I had been trying to avoid it for days. Then today the flood gates opened up and it all came out. So to speak.

At the office, someone asked if I sent something to the people in New Orleans. I said "Yeah. I sent them a map with two marks and a note. It says You are there. I am here. Get your arse over here."

Then someone else made the comment that I should feel sorry for them because Bush didnt do enough for them and the people are being hated upon because of the color of their skin. Thats when I freaked out.

When I mentioned that the Lousiana governor refused the federal help, that was ignored under "Oh he could have done something." When I said that their own mayor told them to get the hell out of town 3 days before the storm hit, that was brushed with the broom of "poverty." When I mentioned that even poor people have feet, that was retorted with a "where they are going to go?"

My first thought: "Anywhere but here?!"

Then the final surge came in.

I blurted "Why didnt Florida have this problem last year when they were hit with four hurricanes? The biggest thing was that they didnt wait for someone to take care of them. They actually prepared for the whole mess when it was coming. They could fend for themselves when the power went out. And if necessary, they actually listened when someone told them to get the hell out. "

That sort of killed the conversation there.

I know I'm an opinionated jackass, but damn, when do people start taking responsibility for themselves?

Feel sorry for the ones that didnt have the feet to get up and walk out. Feel sorry for the ones who are poor, got up and left anyway, only to have their shirt on their backs. Feel sorry for the ones that tried to hold onto their wives when the flood waters pulled her away.

Never ever feel sorry for the ones that expected the government to take care of them or use the color of their skin as an excuse. They are the ones wasting your tax dollars.

While you are at it, go make a donation to the American Red Cross like I did...
**********

Beethoven's Movement
I had dinner with the family and my cousins (who might as well be my sisters) proceeded to tell me things I really didnt need to know.

1) Apparently all five of them plus perspective mothers went to the ladies room. Together. At the same time.
2) They all had to do the same thing.
3) This involved a movement and I dont mean a shuffling of feet.
4) Someone had an internal combustion which was released externally. This is also know as a fart.
5) It was loud.
6) It echoed.
7) My two younger cousins began yelling from their stall, asking who did it.
8) They kept asking it repeatedly.
9) It was my mother..!!
10) How do they know? Because my cousin K was in the stall next to hers and started laughing. Loud.

Geezus...
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Sept 11 is in a few days. Dont ever forget.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Axel F by Crazy Frog

Ok, this is one wierd remix, but its funny. Its been getting alot of air time on XM Radio.

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

She gone. I hold her hand as tight as I could and she told me, "You can't hold me." She said "Take care of the kids and the grandkids" We have nowhere to go. I'm lost. That's all I had. Lord, what am I going to do?
-- Harvey Jackson on losing his wife to Hurricane Katrina

::: Tower View :::
Carpe Diem
Hang on Mr. Jackson. We feel your pain. Hat tip to Fury for the video.

I couldnt watch it at the office, but I had read the news article. Afterwards, all I could do is listen to Carlos Mencia's talk from 2002 about how to live:
What makes life beautiful is in the essence of the fact that it can go away.

You dont want live like that, do you? You dont to be that person that had a fight. A inconsequental, stupid, insignificant fight with your spouse, about who is supposed to open or close or turn off the light at that bedtime.

So you did it and you were pissed. And you stayed pissed at your wife. Not because it was real, but "Hell, we'll make up later. There isnt anything better than make-up sex, is there?"

And in the morning you woke up. Things were still bad, but you kept at it. Because "Hey, I'm going to come back. And we're going to do it."

Then what happened? You went to your building and you were saddened, being on that 90th floor when it happens.

Your ass is never going back home again. And the best you can do is to call your woman and say "I love you."

You missed that last night. Why? Because you thought it would last forever.

Hang on tight to what you have and dont ever go gentle into that good night.

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

During the last Tour de France, the French police searched Lance Armstrong's hotel room and found three illegal substances: soap, water, and toothpaste.
-- Mancow

::: Tower View :::
Just A Reminder
I'm feeling lazy. So just to take a shot at the detractors, here is a little reminder.


**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Make your own a sniper rifle to play Duck Hunt. Now this would be cool to make. Hat tip: Gizmodo
**********

Female city staffers wear miniskirts if they have perfect legs. I dont see a problem with that. Heh.
**********

Can anime movies be hits in the US? Only if Warner Bros can screw up the original movie.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
F**king In The Bushes by Oasis

We put this festival on you bastards
With a lot of love.
We worked for one year for you pigs
And you want to break our walls down?
You want to f**king destroy us?
Well you go to hell!

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

Two guys are talking about cars and how fast they go. The first guy says "I got my wife a Ford Mustang. That thing will go from 0 to 60 in 5 secs!" The second guy says "Thats nothing. I got something for my wife that will go from 0 to 300 in 5 secs."

The first one looks shocked and replies "What the hell did you get her?"

The second guys says "A weight scale."
-- Overheard at the car shop

::: Tower View :::
More Personality

**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Lab not sure that positive drug sample belonged to Armstrong. Yeah, we have positive proof. Seven years later... Maybe... Well, sort of...
**********

V For Vendetta is coming soon. Rah! Hopefully they didnt stray too far from the book.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Mothers Talk by Tears For Fears

Its that you're not good enough,
Its just that we can make it better...
Given that you paid the price
We can keep you young and tender...

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

Denise: No, we are talking about virgin Margaritas!
Nancy: Havent you had a virgin before?
Me: Not for several years.
-- from a conversation at work

::: Tower View :::
Your New Friends
I know I'm old, but I do actually have a sense of humour. So why hadnt I heard of Happy Tree Friends before?!

I happened to catch a clip of the show and when I told a buddy at work about it, he replied "Oh yeah, my kids told me about it. Hilarious show!"

If you have never seen this show, HTF started out as a web based cartoon published by Atom Films, who were known for Frog In A Blender and Mole In A Microwave



You thought Kenny from South Park had it bad.

This is cartoon violence at its best without being overly gross. Imagine the cutest little animals going thru the most funny yet excruciating painful scenes ever. These little buggers crash thru walls, razor sharp fences, and even candy machines. They would have to cut off their own limbs, use their optic nerves for ropes, and even take one another out... Accidently of course.

Its even got a cute, addicting theme song.



HTF definately wont appeal to everyone, but if you have that little sick streak in you (or act a little remotely like me), then check out the lovable doomed creatures.

Just get used to saying "Holy Sh*t!" a lot.
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Support the Pwned. Show your support for those people living Video Game Dominance Deficiency Disorder.
**********

Father and son win competition to squeal like a pig. Too bad Ned Beatty couldnt compete this year.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Then The Morning Comes by Smash Mouth

The way that you are...
Its just the way you talk
Like it aint no thing
And every single day is just a fling...
Then the morning comes

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

After sex, my husband gets chatty. One time he said "Hey Felicia, I was talking to Steve, the bartender, and he thinks that maybe you cant get pregnant cause you have hostile mucus." I was so repulsed that I wanted to jump off the bed, jump up and down, yelling "Evacuate! Evacuate!"
-- Felicia Michaels

::: Tower View :::
Random Thoughts, Part 923
1) During work, Trisha noted "Swimming is my most favorite activity. Well that besides sex of course." Ew... I really didnt need to know that. I wouldnt touch her with Ron Jeremy's member.

2) Oh yes. One day, this will be mine.

3) If you are dependent on another dept to get any work done and they tell you they will be ready by 9p, they really wont be ready until 2am. The following day. Bastards.

4) Madden 2006 comes out tomorrow. Or tonight, if you decide to get it a midnight. Another game to collect dust on my tv.

5) The more anti-Bush Jay Leno gets, the worse the jokes are. He's not even getting the sympathy applause. Serves him right. Jackass.

6) We as a society, are a bunch of morons. The reason for this thought? Its because Dukes Of Hazzard is doing much better than expected. Next thing you know we'll be wanting to remove letter grades from schools so that students cant fail.

7) Even more so, we are surrounded by Susan Wal-Martian.

8) I have to admit Wanted is a pretty damn good show for being on TNT.

9) Are you ready for some football!? Woot!!

10) If you are in the market for a new MP3 player and can spend up to $200, I highly recommend the Creative Labs Zen Micro. The Zen Micro is the same size as the Ipod Mini, the same cost, holds 1Gb more, can use most of the Mini accessories, and most importantly, does NOT support Apple or Steve Jobs in any kind of way.
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::: Out In The Yard :::
Man leaves wife at gas station for six hours. And he was wondering why it was so quiet.
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Yoga found to help to keep weight down. Exercising tends to do that to people.
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::: Background Noise :::
Millennium by Robbie Williams

And when we come
We always come too late...
I often think that
We were born to hate...
Get up and
See the sarcasm in my eyes...

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

Hey, we just drove 700 miles with your food and it occurred us that there wouldnt be world hunger... if you people would live where the food is! You live in a fu**ing desert!! ...Nothing grows here!! Nothing is gonna grow here!!... Get your kids! Get your sh*t! We'll make one trip!! We'll take you where the food is!!

We've got deserts in America... We just dont live in them, a**hole!!!
-- Sam Kinison on world hunger

::: Tower View :::
Truth In Advertising


hat tip: RedCurlzz
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::: Out In The Yard :::
Addidas buying Reebok. "My Reeboks" doesnt have quite the same ring.
**********

Man racks up $19,700 charges in sex hotline. Geez, I've ordered out before but thats ridiculous.
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::: Background Noise :::
I broke out the old Sam Kinison cd, Louder Than Hell. Another favorite line of mine:

I've seen the Crucifixion in the movies. There's always 20 or 30 Christians standing around saying "Its a shame he has to die." And Jesus is always going "Maybe I wouldnt have to if someone would get a ladder and a pair of pliers!"

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

How will I live without mixed greens? You mean I can have all the radicchio I want? Stop! I'm getting a chubby.
-- John Pinette, talking about diets

::: Tower View :::
When One Isnt Enough
After today, I'm going to be one of those that support the ban of cellphone use while driving.

On the way to pick up lunch at McDonald's, I made a left turn out to get off of the work campus. A woman coming from the opposite direction and trying to pull into the campus, misjudged her own left turn and almost clipped the back of the Jeep. She didnt even bother putting the phone down.

Then while pulling into the drive thru, another car came from the opposite side, sped thru the parking lot and whipped around in order to beat the rest of the cars into line. The driver, who was on the phone at time, couldnt turn the wheel far enough and went up the curb while making the u-turn.

Finally, after getting my order and trying to leave the area to get back to work, I had to make a left turn at an intersection. The car on the other side of the intersection runs the stop sign, trying to beat me from making my left turn. The driver of the that car fails to notice the oncoming car on her right side, which had right of way.

Her passenger looks shocked as the oncoming vehicle braked just in time to prevent the accident. She looks incredulous when I made the symbol of a gun with hand and pulled the trigger. Which is abit ironic considered she never put down the cellphone during the entire incident.

What was even worse was that the driver from the oncoming car was also on her cellphone and never put it down, even though she almost t-boned someone.

Geezus people. There are hands-free mics nowadays.

Morons.
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::: Out In The Yard :::
Owning a car can cost extra money. Time to get a bicycle. Ha!
**********

A new planet is found. Geez, I can barely remember the nine we have now.
**********

Woman assaults child at miniature golf course. That what happens when you ask a womam about the way she grips the shaft and hits the balls.
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::: Background Noise :::
Chasing Lance is on.

Its the Discovery Channel's version of the old Lance Chronicles that OLN did last year.

Tonight's episode, "The Last Ride," covers the Dauphine Libere, which is the final training race prior to the TdF. I hadnt seen this one yet, but have to admit, its ok.

Its a better option as opposed to the news or some of the other repeats showing on tv.

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

Now this chapter of his story closes on the Champs Elysees today. But instinct tells me this story is not yet over. It cant be. Lance live on, go well, and "Live Strong.” See you down the road.
-- Paul Sherwin, OLN cycling commentator

::: Tower View :::
La Fin D'une Ere
Once again, I awoke early to catch the first showing of today's final stage. This would be Armstrong's last hurrah. There were mixed feelings of watching him ride this one last time.

Sure, he's just a retiring, not dying, but somehow it was still sad. How would golfers feel if Tiger said "Tomorrow is my last day. After that, I'm done?" How did fans feel when Gretzky retired?

Watching Armstrong take the podium one last time, the tears of joy flowing from him, Sheryl Crow, and the rest of his family was sad, yet inspiring.

The speech he gave was the only one ever allowed in the Tour's history. And then giving thanks to Ullrich was great, especially since Lance had always felt the German was his greatest rival. And even then, they were able to keep a decent friendship over the years.

And so for these brief few moments, we forgot the troubles of the world and watched a rider, a father, a survivor, a champion, a hero, and a legend ride off into the sunset.
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::: Out In The Yard :::
Vino steals the final stage. Now here was a guy determined to make sure he could get a job next year.
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Wear Yellow is online for viewing. Sure its another Nike site, but its the place to get 10/2 gear.
**********

Infernal Affairs goes Hollywood. This Hong Kong smash was an excellent film. Hopefully, Scorcese wont screw it up.
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::: Background Noise :::
Its Going Down by X-ecutioners with Mike Shinoda and Joe Hahn

Its going down
A logical progession
On a timeline...
The seperation narrowed down
to a fine line...
To blur the edges
So they blend again properly...
Take you on an audible odyssey

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************