Man screw you guys and your inability to comprehend witty satire.
-- Brent Sienna, Player vs Player
::: Tower View :::
Life Comes At You Fast
I dont know about you, but I found this funny as hell...
**********
*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************
Do you know how to describe a decent day at work? You say "Well, nobody died today."
-- Karen, from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
Paean
How ironic that came to mind this day. Karen's sister had been a survivor of a corporate office shooting so our office had picked up the saying as a catch phrase.
"How was work?"
"Well, nobody died today."
The wierd part is that someone did die today.
RP was a programmer that worked in my area. He had worked for me for a short time period since I was soon after promoted to a different team in the same area.
I found him to be a quiet, intellent sort. RP's personal life was abit torn due to home issues, but his wife and sons were an anchor for him.
And this morning, he died.
Nothing nefarious or by accident. Just plain gone. In a blink of an eye.
That just seemed so strange.
To know someone, yet not to really know them. The feeling that they were just there because we keep taking for granted how short our lives are.
Then the morbid thoughts came up.
"This is just an excuse for him to get out of work."
"He heard we were going to assign him to the project from heck."
"Hey, who gets the dead guy's pc?"
"Oh, would you want to sit in that cubicle? There could be like a ghost in there or something."
Yes, we were being abit sick, perhaps even irreverant, but at no point were we disrespectful. RP was a good man and a valued person. Not only by us, but most importantly, by his family. He will be missed.
God speed, sir.
**********
*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************
Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself; do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.
-- Bruce Lee
::: Tower View :::
Late Christmas Present
I've been lazy as of late, so here is a belate present for those who havent seen it yet.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Digging In The Dirt by Peter Gabriel
Don't talk back
Just drive the car
Shut your mouth
I know what you are
Don't say nothing
Keep your hands on the wheel
Don't turn around
This is for real
Digging in the dirt
Stay with me
I need support
I'm digging in the dirt
To find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurt
I was talking to JStein and this came to mind. Seemed abit appropriate.
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
::: Tower View :::
Merry Christmas To All
And to all, a good night!
Time To Die Charlie Brown
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
In the dictionary, the definition of Redundant is "See Redundant".
-- from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
What The?
Here is something that proves that the Teletubbies are evil beings...
Am I the only one that has the urge to hunt them down and shoot them?
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Chester's phone gets hacked. Sometimes, in the end, it does matter.
**********
PvP gets animated! Damn, something else to do on the daily schedule.
**********
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
Wild Bill Guarnere: My brother's in North Africa. He says it's hot.
Don Malarkey: Really? It's hot in Africa?
-- from Band of Brothers
::: Tower View :::
Random Shots
1. A Happy (Belated) Birthday goes out to Fury. We are going to have to figure out when we can go hang out, sir. That is when Mrs. Fury says you can go out.
2. Damn it, Rose. If you ever want someone to ever write you back, then get rid of the AOL account. We all cant pretend to be 15 year old newbie virgins for the rest of our lives. Heh..
3. TMX (Tickle Me Extreme) Elmo is one of this year's hottest toys. Why?! Didnt we get enough of this little bastard already?
4. I'm seriously debating about an Xb0x 360. The price has come down on it and there are more titles available now. Oh and most importantly, Dead Or Alive Volleyball 2 is out now.
5. I'm also seriously debating about Guitar Hero 2. I know its another game I wont be able to play, but this looks like so much fun!
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Teens charged with planting bombs at Wal-Mart. I guess they wanted to make it a Target.
**********
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
If a thing isn't worth saying, you sing it.
-- Pierre Beaumarchais
::: Tower View :::
Sing Like You Mean It
Fury had this on his blog and its so good that it has to be shown again.
No wonder I always liked Natalie Imbruglia. Heh...
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Revenge is a dish served cold. And this was so cold hearted that its beautiful. (hat tip: Methos)
**********
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
A hush fell over the courtroom, injuring six.
-- seen on a tagline
::: Tower View :::
It Happens
Here are two videos that tell us that we are all human. One you feel sorry for, the other one you just want to beat the shi.. err.. hell out of.
WARNING: Not for the squeamish.
I need a shower now...
**********
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
Drive it in to Candy! She's ready for the backdoor!
-- Veph, during the dept soccer game
::: Tower View :::
Apologies Again
Sorry not being around again. The work life has been abit overbearing, but as much as I hate things they way are at the moment, I cant complain.
I've at least a day off. One of my employees really hasnt had a day off since Sept 13th.
Songs From The Big Chair
Hat tip goes to Fury for this great idea.
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
Here's how it works:
- Open your music library
- Put it on shuffle
- For every question, type the song that's playing, and don't be cheating, dammit!
- When you go to a new question, press the next button
Opening Credits: N Sync - This I Promise You
First Day At School: Bowling For Soup - Summer of 69
Falling In Love: Semisonic - One True Love
Isnt it ironic?
Fight Song: Expose - Come Go With Me
Breaking Up: The Monroes - What Do All The People Know
Life's OK: Disturbed - Land of Confusion
I guess its not that ok..
Mental Breakdown: Los Trio Panchos - Quizas Quizas Quizas
Driving: Psuedo Echo - Funkytown
Flashback: Ryan Tedder - The Look
Wtf?!
Getting Back Together: Oasis - Dont Look Back In Anger
This should have been the last one
Wedding: Coldplay - Talk
Birth of Child: Sarah Mclachlan - Dear God
Wtf?!?!
Death Scene: Uncle Kracker - Follow Me
Now I'm a cult leader...
Funeral Song: Sarah Mclachlan - I Will Remember You
WTF?!?!
End Credits: Living Colour - Broken Hearts
Fubar...
**********
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
Tell you what, Lor. We'll get a redneck keyboard just for you. Your can type in your password as "Chicken, rooster, cow, pig.."
-- Robbie, from a conversation at the office.
::: Tower View :::
Diet Rite
I was buying a large bag of Purina dog food at the local grocery store and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked "Oh, do you have a dog?"
On impulse, I said "No, I don't have a dog, but I am starting 'The Purina Diet' again. I probably shouldn't because the last time I did it, I ended up in the hospital. But I did lose 50 pounds before I had to go to intensive care with IVs in both arms."
She continued to look amazed as I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with the Purina nuggets. Anytime you feel hungry, you simply eat one or two. The food is nutritionally complete so it was perfect. I simply had to try it again.
Horrified, she asked "Did you end up in intensive care because of an allergic reaction to the the dog food? Or did it poison you?"
I replied "Oh no. I was sitting in the street licking my balls when a car hit me."
-- And if you believe that, I've got some beach front property in Nevada to sell you. Hat tip: Fury
**********
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
This gum tastes like rubber!
-- written next to a condom machine in a men's room
::: Tower View :::
Its All About The Suffering
After several months of blood, sweat, and tears (mostly tears), the largest cycling charity event has been completed. I must thank my sponsors Fury, Tigress, Kitty, Lraw, and of course, the Shima clan, for funding me for this event.
So after two days and 168 miles, its time to take stock in what I learned:
Now perhaps I can get back to playing video games on the weekends.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
In the jungle, a lion sleeps tonight. What is a weebowa anyway?
**********
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Lars: Careful Stacy! We wouldnt you to fall on your back with your legs up.
Me: Why not?
-- from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
Questions and Answers
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
3. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
4. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
6. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
7. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
8. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
17. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to start speaking?
19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
30. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
(Hat tip: Kitty)
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
When she says "Not there!" she means it.. I feel sorry for the guy who didnt heed that warning.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
The Enemy Within by Rush
I'm not giving in
To security under pressure...
I'm not missing out
On the promise of adventure...
I'm not giving up on implausible dreams,
Experience to extremes...
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece of shit Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?
-- Gunnery Sgt. Hartman from Full Metal Jacket
::: Tower View :::
Survey Says!
1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
Hmm.. Only one? This may take some time to decide.
2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
Hmm.. Only one? This may take some time to decide.
3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I can only pick ONE person?
My noisy neighbor who cant park his POS car in between the two white lines.
4. What is your favorite cheese?
American
5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal.
Bologna on sourdough with mayo, lettuce, and onion.
6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie (porn counts) celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?
Porn: Nikki Charm; Non-Porn: Diane Lane
7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?
Andrea Corr from The Corrs
8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Do you realize how much Astroglide I need to buy now that I'm sleeping with celebrities?!
9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Las Vegas
10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
Take a nap
11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is...?
Ketel One
12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
Early 1970s, buying stocks for Microsoft when they were $5 a share...
13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
Its my house! If you dont like it, you can get the f__k out!
14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?
Cooking with Bill, the Belching Gourmet
15. What is your favorite curse word?
F_ck
16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Look for the bastard reading out of the Book of the Dead. This is probably Brendan Fraser's fault...
17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the item? My wallet. I can buy everything else.
18. The Angel Of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel Of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
I know how it would start: "Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee, God, for forgiveness."
19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?
To make me and the clothes I wear, invisible. That was Claude Rain's mistake...
20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
Hmm.. Only one? This may take some time to decide.
21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? (the answer "nothing" doesn't count).
Hmm.. Only one? This may take some time to decide.
22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit... you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin'! What country are you going to live in now?
England. I already watch most of their tv anyway.
23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?
The V Bar in Las Vegas
24. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out... Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude, check it out... I can FLOAT!"?
Definately Fury's house
25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier have given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?
Megan Leigh. Hey, I can sleep with celebrities now.
26. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn't think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
Lisa Deleeuw. Hey, I can sleep with celebrities now.
27. What's your theme song?
Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park
Thanks go to Fury for this one.
**********
California Dreaming
Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, in California?
California became a state. The State had no electricity. The State had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gun fights in the streets.
So basically, it was just like California today except the women had real breasts and men didn't hold hands.
(Hat tip: Kooker)
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Its Yakko's World. And we are just living in it.
**********
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Jill: I thought you liked taking the front?
Me: No, I prefer being on top.
-- conversation during a training ride
::: Tower View :::
Stress By Any Other Name
I havent been around in so long that I feel guilty. Work is getting slightly better.
Instead of being triple booked during the day, I'm only double booked. Then there are the 100 mile ride weekends in preparation for the big ride next month. I will probably have to dwindle the length of the posts and go for just plain mass hysteria.
So all this stuff made me curious about corporate personalities and I found this. Its the Kingdomality Personal Preference Profile
Mine came out as:
Your distinct personality, The Doctor might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. Your emotions and feelings are reality based. You are not misled with half formed ideas nor are you given to radical or high risk experimentation. You follow the tried and true and do not waste time thinking about things that cannot be seen, touched, heard, felt or smelled. On the positive side, you can become an exceptional expert in your particular area of the helping professions. You can deliver and maintain consistent and beneficial service to others. You do not lose sight of the reality of the situation and can usually control your own emotions. On the negative side, your emotions may want to be sensually satisfied which might lead to too much food, drink or other sensual pleasures. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms.
I knew I should have went to medical school.
**********
Sign of the Times
How do you know you are getting old?
* You go to your 20 year high school reunion and too many people do not recognize you.
* You have gray hair in your goatee. And you only have 5 hairs there to begin with.
* You notice gray hair in other places that really shouldnt be mentioned.
* I was referring to my arms you sick people.
**********
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
No project is complete until its in a three ring binder.
-- from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
Smashing Success
If you hadnt heard yet, the World's Cup final between Italy and France was a few days ago.
The French soccer star Zinedine Zidane, in what surmounts to be his last match, lost his composure and butted his head into Italian Marco Materazzi.
Here is a guy who annoying you by bad mouthing you, your team, and your country. He's also been kicking you, elbowing you, and pushing you around. So what do you? You turn around and smack the hell out of him!
Or in this case, drive your head into this guy's chest and knock him flat on his back.
Now how cool was that?! How often do we ever get to smack the hell out of some jerk who is bugging us?!
Granted, Zidane's act probably did cost France the World Cup title. When Zidane was ejected from the game, the French lost one of their best shooters. The game was eventually decided on penalty kicks and they lost by 1.
Just to prove once again, that for every action you do, their is some price to be paid.
Then again, what the hell is anyone going to do about it?! Fire him? He was retiring anyway.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Its the Lego World Cup! Let me know when they get to Lego pron... hehehe...
**********
::: Background Noise :::
The Walls Came Down by The Call
Well, they blew their horns
And the walls came down...
They'd all been warned
And the walls came down...
They stood their laughing...
They're not laughing any more...
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Valium, Prozac, and Ritalin. Breakfast of champions.
-- Lou from the movie Mean Guns
::: Tower View :::
Happy Birthday, USA!
Everyone please have a enjoyable and safe Fourth of July! No putting the fireworks in your ears...
**********
From the "WTF?!" File
Ever wonder how some people end up with their high priced salaries? I do, especially after conversations such as this..
Professional programmer tester:Is this numeric field supposed to be in upper case or lower case?
Me: Ummm..Upper case.
Professional programmer tester:Ok, thanks! Tester walks away
And if you cant figure out what is wrong with that, then you dont deserve to be making over minimum wage either.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
The Polish group Polska Gola makes a video to sing the soccer theme "Ole ole ole" This is one reason why I watch the World Cup. Ha!
**********
Robbie McKewn wins Stage 2 of the Tour while Thor takes back the yellow jersey. Not bad for a guy who yesterday was given the finger and fell to the ground bleeding.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Zoot Suit Riot by Cherry Popping Daddies
Zoot suit riot...
Riot!
Throw back a bottle of beer...
Zoot suit riot...
Riot!
I'll run a comb through
Your coal black hair...
Are your lips moving? Are they moving in the right direction?
-- Rei, from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
Colour Blind
From Paul Goldin Research
Everyone feels despondent at times and you are no exception. You are feeling so depressed because it seems that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and you don't quite know which way to turn. So like the proverbial ostrich you are trying to bury your head in the sand. But that won't work - you have to face reality.
You are lazy - you dream of a peaceful, calm, uncluttered and uncomplicated life. Your ideal would be to share a permanent base with some person or persons who would be able to demonstrate on-going love, peace and security.
Nothing seems to be going right for you and you are thwarted every way you turn. You are not at all happy with the situation but it would appear that there is very little that you can do about it at this time. Sit back and let the situation take its course, because at this time you feel that there is nothing you can do to change whatever needs to be changed.
Recent disappointment has led you to become truly introverted. You are becoming suspicious of everybody and consequently you now feel that you are unable to trust anybody. Unfortunately it would appear that you are curbing your natural enthusiasm and imaginative nature - perhaps this is because you are fearful that you may become over enthused and find that you could possibly be carried away by wishful thinking. You are keeping your distance to see whether attitudes towards you are sincere - but this watchfulness could easily develop into suspicion and distrust.
Perhaps in the distant past your trust and belief in your fellow man was misplaced and you can now no longer accept anything as it appears to be. You are untrusting and you insist that before you commit yourself to anything, you examine the pro's and con's with critical discrimination. The situation has now progressed to one where you are apt to disagree yet not make any form of constructive criticism to every suggestion that may be put to you. As a result you are in limbo. There is a saying that goes 'The past does not equal tomorrow'. Think about it - and let go.
Well.. damn...
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Broken by Seether and Amy Lee
Because I'm broken
When I'm open
And I don't feel like
I am strong enough...
Because I'm broken
When I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right
when you're gone away...
You've gone away...
You dont feel me here anymore...
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
It just tastes so good in my mouth. Yummo!
-- Racheal Ray
::: Tower View :::
Here I Go Again
Yes, its been awhile again. I let the blog go for so long that it seems almost senseless.
But we all need that time off for one reason or another. I figured after having put up with my poor writing skills and extremely long story, that the poor folks who actually read this might want some time off.
Ok, so I admit it. I have been a lazy sod. After putting in an average of 45 to 50 hours a week at the office as well as training with the KBT cycling team, its been amazing that I get enough sleep on a regular basis.
Speaking of cycling the highlight of the past weekends has been the diabetes charity ride. It was 124 miles of pure pleasure.
That is if you didnt count all the hills, bridges, high winds, high heat, and bad traffic, it really was a good ride.
Going over a two day period, this was an early test to determine the endurance level for the large ride that comes soon: the MS150.
Based on how well I did for this ride I can honestly say I am in big frigging trouble. Thank God for large pace lines. 
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
After 10 years, Dante and Randel have moved on.. sort of. I'm not even supposed to be here today! (hat tip: Fury)
**********
Armstrong cleared of doping charges. Now this gives something else for the French to whine about.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Rio by Duran Duran
Her name is Rio
And she dances on the sand
Just like that river
Twisting through a dusty land
And when she shines
she really shows you all she can
Oh Rio, Rio
Dance across the Rio Grande
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Me? I'm their man in Nirvana. I'm their technical support. I'm... Oh my God! I'm the tin dog!
-- Mickey from Doctor Who: School Reunion
::: Tower View :::
Anti-Climatic
We went into the final day believing that the last few things remaining were to hear closing arguements. The youngest juror, JP, was estatic. All week he had been complaining, saying comments like "This is stupid. I shouldnt be here doing this crap. This guy shouldnt even have to go thru this and just be let go when his time is up." So now he was able to get out of this mess and go on with his life.
Then he asked the rest of us why Ronnie wasnt allowed to testified. A few of us laughed. I even replied "Are you kidding? The State will eat him alive!"
So imagine our surprise when the first thing that occurs is that Fleschmann calls Ronnie to the stand.
Of course Ronnie is happy. In his words, he done some wrong things in the past, but he done made up for by doing his time. He was going to be going home soon. Fleschmann did his best to portray Ronnie as a remorseful convict who would go straight.
Then the State tore him a new one.
When the State attorney asked about his treatment of Sheila, Ronnie said "Well we was into the rough stuff. She really liked it. I even had put a banana up in her."
Ok, I will admit it. I had to suppress a laugh from that comment because the first thing that I wondered was they did it with or without the peel.
When the State attorney showed pictures of Sheila's injuries, the most he could say was "Like I said, she was into the rough stuff. The more I beat her the more she loved me. She really wanted me. She's even said she would leave whoever she was with for me."
The State attorney even asked "Do all those women want you, sir?"
"Oh yah, they want me. Every woman I've met wanted me. I really cant blame them." Thats when the State showed a picture of Ronnie, in his glorious mullet, and replied "Oh of course sir."
With the topic of Denise's attack, Ronnie said "Well now, she done got me hooked on that crack cocaine. So when we go off get drunk and get high, then have sex. I liked her because she liked the rough stuff, just not as much as Sheila did."
There were just so many other comments that I had to stifle my laughter. A few of the others had to do the same.
"Well, sir. If you are released, what would be the first thing you would want to do?"
"I know my family will want to go out. Have dinner and such. I'm sure my friends and I will want to celebrate."
"Would you drink?"
"I might have one or two. Nothing too fancy."
"But didnt you get in trouble when you were drinking? When you took drugs?"
"Well yeah, but that was a long time ago. I know I'm not the same person."
"But you havent taken any kind of treatment for these things?"
"I really didnt need them."
"If Sheila came to see you, would you let her visit?"
"Oh yeah. She's still a good looking woman. We wouldnt do nothing, but we could talk."
The closing arguements finally came around and summed up each side's opinion. For Fleschmann, although Ronnie was a domestic abuser, he was not a sexual predator, and saying that he would offend again was only a guess. We could never be sure whether or not, he would likely to offend.
For the State, they showed a simple timeline, noting that Ronnie was a repeat offender that treated women like objects to prey upon. That not only is he most likely to offend again, but escalate in his violence.
The judge told us the points of law we were to discuss, the main one being that if we as a jury believed that the Respondent would be likely to offend again, we would state this and he would committed for an extended time frame for treatment. We had no say in what kind of treatment or for how long.
As opposed to a criminal case, we could have a split jury. If the majority believed that Ronnie would likely offend, then he could be committed for treatment, but he could take it back to court to dispute. If the majority believed that he would not be likely to offend, then it was his choice to take that treatment or not and could be released at his regular time, which was in Febuary 2007.
So off we went for deliberations. For the first vote, it was 6 to 1 in the belief that he would likely offend again. We all knew who the one was: The nineteen year old, JP.
His belief was that "He's already done his time. You heard that doctor Cectes. He's an abuser, not a predator. There is no reason why he should go back because of some psycho chick. You got to feel sorry for this guy."
Actually no, we dont. Sympathy isnt supposed to make a difference here.
The rest of us believed that Ronnie was going back to the exact same environment that got him in trouble in the first place: the girlfriend who would go back to him, the drinking, the drugs, and most importantly, the family that would either turn a blind eye or pay off anyone that got in the way.
For hours we discussed this, trying to get JP's opinion without the sympathy. His constant whine was "We should be able to say what kind of treatment he gets. He's an abuser, not a predator. You have to feel sorry because you know part of it was her fault cause she kept going back to him."
We could have gone on with the split decision, but that would have meant someone else would have to go thru this kind of trial. After all, Ronnie would have gone back to court to dispute the treatment.
After another hour of getting JP not to feel sympathetic, he agreed that as an abuser with that crazy family and crazy girl in his life, he would more than likely do it again. The turning point?
Foreman: When he gets out, what is the first thing he is going to do?
JP: He'll go out with his buddies and get drunk.
Foreman: Do you think he'll get high?
JP: Hell yeah, I would..
Juror#3: And do you think Sheila will be waiting for him when he gets out?
JP: Yeah, she's pretty much said so...
Juror#3: So when they both get drunk and high together, what do you think is going to happen?
JP: Well...
And with that, there was unanimous vote to send Ronnie back under civil commitment for treatment.
The points of law were abit more specific than what I detailed here, but hopefully I got the gist of it out properly. Although there was some very slow points during the trial, overall I really did enjoy myself. Not only did I meet some interesting people in the jurors, I got a first hand look at the system, good or bad, regardless of what you believe in the outcome.
This could have been an episode right out of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.
How many of us get to say that?
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
The top 10 ways you know when a woman is flirting with you. #11 - She asks you if the panties she is removing look better on her or on the floor.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Kick Some Ass by Stroke 9
How many people are sick of holding back?
I am, I am...
How many people want to kick some ass?
I would if I could...
But I'm really just a sensative artist
Portrayed that I'm as being the hottest
Acting like I'm not the smartest,
But I'm just an sensative artist
Honest...
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Me: Aw frig. Look at this email. It basically opens up a can of "Ken-Shut-The-Hell-Up!"
-- From a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
The Best Defense
By the time the Respondant's lawyers got around to presenting their case, the trial had already dragged on for several days. And we were looking for more of the same.
This time around, the witnesses were a hell of alot more humourous, if not interesting.
The Brother: This man made sure we knew he was proud to be testifying on the behalf of his brother, Ronnie. The Respondant's lawyer, Fleschmann, made sure that we heard how he saw the estranged girlfriend and victim #1, Sheila, assault Ronnie whenever they were drunk or high. He even noted an incident when Sheila hit his girlfriend "while we was at this here Monster Truck Pull a few years back".
He would be very proud to support Ronnie once he got out of jail. Apparently he had no idea what Ronnie had done.
So here was this large chested, thick necked redneck, being brought to tears by a much smaller, almost minute, female lawyer as she showed every single wound photographed on Sheila, asking the brother what kind of injury it was. He was almost completely broken down by the time she was finished thru all the pictures of the second known victim, Denise.
By that time, he was so soft-spoken that the State attorney had to keep asking him to speak up.
The Brother's Girlfriend: She was the victim of one Sheila's drunken rages because, as she put it, A few years ago, we were having a special night out. We had gone up to the Monster Truck Pull and she was there. At the end, I had gone to the bathroom and Sheila done starting hitting on my man, touching him, putting her arms around him and such. Well, I told her that she wasnt going to disrespect me like that. So she headbutted me in the nose. She totally ruined a good evening..."
Ronnie's First Son: Apparently, the just turned 18 year old was a mix of hip hop, hillybilly. The boy's pants were hanging of his arse and he walked as if he was just too cool to be there. Then when he talked, we all wondered if he was high. I had to laugh when he was asked if he ever witnessed an act of violence from Shiela: "When I was younger, my uncle and his girlfriend took me out to the Monster Truck Pull for a family night out and such..."
My mind was racing. Are we sensing a pattern here?!
The Friend: I can understand bringing out as many character witnesses as possble to show Shiela in a different light, but this one only hurt the cause. I could only snicker when this witness came in because I and a couple of other jurors had seen him in the hallway. They didnt believe me when I said this man was a witness because of the way he acted towards the family. They wouldnt believe me, but now here he was, wobbling in as another guest of the State. In leg and arm shackles.
This witness was a resident of a prison across the state, but was brought in for his testimony. When asked to raise his right hand for the oath, he could only raise his hand above his waist since his wrists and ankles were restrained by the chains.
At least he wasnt at the monster truck pull...
The Father: Now here was a man in denial. "I own a glass business that Ronnie worked at when he was a youngun. He'll work there again. He'll live with me until he gets himself settled with a new apartment for him and that woman he met while he was in jail. I'll watch over my boy and make sure he dont get into any more trouble. My family will support Ronnie through this whole thing."
When the State attorney said "But sir, wasnt Ronnie living with you when he was arrested and convicted for his crimes?", the best he could reply was "Well now we cant keep an eye on him twenty fours a day."
The Uncle: Another man in denial, but with a twist. When asked to introduce himself to the jury, he stated "My name is Elmo J. I own the Elmo J Furniture company. I've been living here for all my life. When my dear departed wife passed, I went on and married her sister, Bobbi Jo, and we have been together for twenty years. We are here to support Ronnie and to show that we care for him."
When the State attorney asked about money that had been given to Denise prior to her testimony, he replied "I didnt give her any money whatsoever. But I do believe my wife did. Something about parking tickets.."
The Aunt: This woman was scary. She reminded me of an evil Aunt Bea from Mayberry and that she would have no issues with shooting you in order to get her way. When she was asked about Denise, the second victim, she claimed not to really know her that well.
Then when the topic of money given to her, she stated matter of factly "Well the girl done called us up, begging for help because she was about to go to jail for some unpaid parking tickets. Since we own a furniture store, we are well-to-do. As a good Christian woman, I knew we could afford it so I done give her the money she needed for them tickets."
Then, the State attorney noted that Denise didnt have parking tickets on her record. Denise didnt even have a speeding ticket.
"Well thats what she told me. I had no reason to think otherwise."
Right. Of course not.
The Good Doctor: This expert witness was a clinical psychologist and its no wonder the State wanted to get in as many psychologists in as possible. This doctor, Cectes, was really knowledgeable. He had performed tests on Ronnie to check for brain damage as well as sexual abnormality.
When asked about his fees, he replied "Well, I only charge $500 an hour..." Only?!?!
After all the work and research he discussed, Cectes made a pretty profound statement: "At no point during the attacks did the Respondant become sexually aroused. He never stalked any prey in order to meet some sexual need. His victims were always women he dated. They may have had sex after the attacks, but it wasnt about power, punishment, or fulfillment, but rather anger. The Respondant had drinking and drug issues which increased his anger and in turn he would take it out on the women he was with. That makes him a domestic batterer, not a sexual predator. He may be a bad person, but being a son of bitch isnt a crime in America. Being a domestic abuser is criminal and Ronnie has completed his jail time for that. If the State wishes to incarcerate him again, then it should be for the right reason, not as a sexual predator."
That would come into play on the final day...
To Be Continued
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Second Life can actually make you money. And just like in real life, you have several companies screwing over the consumers.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Digging In The Dirt by Peter Gabriel
I'm digging in the dirt
Stay with me
I need someone
I'm digging in the dirt
Finding the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurt
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
The Steward
