Ann McD: Wow, Ken! I havent seen you in awhile. Have you lost weight?
Me: No, I'm afraid not. I just wear bigger pants.
-- from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
Shhh!
This is one of funniest games I've ever seen.
The object is to try to be as quiet as possible when you are called upon to suffer the consequences. You almost feel sorry for the one guy who keeps getting penalized.
The big black man playing is Ernesto Hoost, a professional martial arts fighter. Its great to see a fighter with a sense of humour.
Too bad we couldnt do this over here.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Congratulations by Blue October
Is that seat taken?
Congratulations...
Would you like to take a walk with me?
My mind, it kind of goes fast.
I try to slow it down for you.
I think I'd love to take a drive.
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years...
*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************
Its the humans that tell the tales where the the hunter kills the wolf at the end. In reality, its the wolf that kills the hunter.
-- from Jin Roh: The Wolf Brigade
Damn!
I've decided to be just like Ron Simmons.
The ex-FSU football player is most known as a wrestler for the World Wrestling Entertainment (aka WWE) organization.
Because of his age and injuries, Ron is now part of sidebar skits on the WWE Raw tv show where he goes around the back area, watching certain situations occur and uttering a single phrase.
He could be watching one of the hot ladies walking by and his deep voice simple grunt out Damn!
He could be watching a fight broil in the dressing room and just yell out Damn!
I want to do that.
I want to walk around the office, stick my head into some meeting, look around at the confused people, and just say Damn!
I want to walk into the cafeteria, look at the food on the various counters, and yell out Damn!
I figure why not? I'm already saying that when I look at my paycheck.
::: Background Noise :::
Its Been Awhile by Staind
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen
The way the candles light your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still
Remember just the way you taste
*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************
Dont let the drummer sing. It will just end in tears.
-- Guitar Hero I
Define This
Definition of a bad day?
You start the day with four hours of meetings.
Definition of a worse day?
You finally get back to your desk and disover that your employees are dressed just like you. And its a business casual office.
*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************
A hush fell over the courtroom, injuring six.
-- seen on a tagline
::: Background Noise :::
Inspired from the recent "Lust in Space" events...
Intergalatic by The Beastie Boys
Intergalactic Planetary Planetary Intergalactic
Another Dimension,
Another Dimension
Well Now don't you tell me to smile
You stick around I'll make it worth your while
Got numbers beyond what you can dial
Maybe it's because I'm so versatile
Style profile I said
It always brings me back when I hear Ooh Child
From the Hudson River out to the Nile
I run the marathon til the very last mile
If you battle me I will revile
People always say my style is wild
You've got gall you've got guile
To step to me I'm a rapophile
If you want to battle your in denial
Coming from Uranus to check my style
Go ahead put my rhymes on trial
Cast you off into exile
*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************
Man screw you guys and your inability to comprehend witty satire.
-- Brent Sienna, Player vs Player
::: Tower View :::
Life Comes At You Fast
I dont know about you, but I found this funny as hell...
**********
*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************
Do you know how to describe a decent day at work? You say "Well, nobody died today."
-- Karen, from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
Paean
How ironic that came to mind this day. Karen's sister had been a survivor of a corporate office shooting so our office had picked up the saying as a catch phrase.
"How was work?"
"Well, nobody died today."
The wierd part is that someone did die today.
RP was a programmer that worked in my area. He had worked for me for a short time period since I was soon after promoted to a different team in the same area.
I found him to be a quiet, intellent sort. RP's personal life was abit torn due to home issues, but his wife and sons were an anchor for him.
And this morning, he died.
Nothing nefarious or by accident. Just plain gone. In a blink of an eye.
That just seemed so strange.
To know someone, yet not to really know them. The feeling that they were just there because we keep taking for granted how short our lives are.
Then the morbid thoughts came up.
"This is just an excuse for him to get out of work."
"He heard we were going to assign him to the project from heck."
"Hey, who gets the dead guy's pc?"
"Oh, would you want to sit in that cubicle? There could be like a ghost in there or something."
Yes, we were being abit sick, perhaps even irreverant, but at no point were we disrespectful. RP was a good man and a valued person. Not only by us, but most importantly, by his family. He will be missed.
God speed, sir.
**********
*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************
Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself; do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.
-- Bruce Lee
::: Tower View :::
Late Christmas Present
I've been lazy as of late, so here is a belate present for those who havent seen it yet.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Digging In The Dirt by Peter Gabriel
Don't talk back
Just drive the car
Shut your mouth
I know what you are
Don't say nothing
Keep your hands on the wheel
Don't turn around
This is for real
Digging in the dirt
Stay with me
I need support
I'm digging in the dirt
To find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurt
I was talking to JStein and this came to mind. Seemed abit appropriate.
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
::: Tower View :::
Merry Christmas To All
And to all, a good night!
Time To Die Charlie Brown
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
In the dictionary, the definition of Redundant is "See Redundant".
-- from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
What The?
Here is something that proves that the Teletubbies are evil beings...
Am I the only one that has the urge to hunt them down and shoot them?
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Chester's phone gets hacked. Sometimes, in the end, it does matter.
**********
PvP gets animated! Damn, something else to do on the daily schedule.
**********
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
Wild Bill Guarnere: My brother's in North Africa. He says it's hot.
Don Malarkey: Really? It's hot in Africa?
-- from Band of Brothers
::: Tower View :::
Random Shots
1. A Happy (Belated) Birthday goes out to Fury. We are going to have to figure out when we can go hang out, sir. That is when Mrs. Fury says you can go out.
2. Damn it, Rose. If you ever want someone to ever write you back, then get rid of the AOL account. We all cant pretend to be 15 year old newbie virgins for the rest of our lives. Heh..
3. TMX (Tickle Me Extreme) Elmo is one of this year's hottest toys. Why?! Didnt we get enough of this little bastard already?
4. I'm seriously debating about an Xb0x 360. The price has come down on it and there are more titles available now. Oh and most importantly, Dead Or Alive Volleyball 2 is out now.
5. I'm also seriously debating about Guitar Hero 2. I know its another game I wont be able to play, but this looks like so much fun!
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Teens charged with planting bombs at Wal-Mart. I guess they wanted to make it a Target.
**********
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
If a thing isn't worth saying, you sing it.
-- Pierre Beaumarchais
::: Tower View :::
Sing Like You Mean It
Fury had this on his blog and its so good that it has to be shown again.
No wonder I always liked Natalie Imbruglia. Heh...
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Revenge is a dish served cold. And this was so cold hearted that its beautiful. (hat tip: Methos)
**********
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
A hush fell over the courtroom, injuring six.
-- seen on a tagline
::: Tower View :::
It Happens
Here are two videos that tell us that we are all human. One you feel sorry for, the other one you just want to beat the shi.. err.. hell out of.
WARNING: Not for the squeamish.
I need a shower now...
**********
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
Drive it in to Candy! She's ready for the backdoor!
-- Veph, during the dept soccer game
::: Tower View :::
Apologies Again
Sorry not being around again. The work life has been abit overbearing, but as much as I hate things they way are at the moment, I cant complain.
I've at least a day off. One of my employees really hasnt had a day off since Sept 13th.
Songs From The Big Chair
Hat tip goes to Fury for this great idea.
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
Here's how it works:
- Open your music library
- Put it on shuffle
- For every question, type the song that's playing, and don't be cheating, dammit!
- When you go to a new question, press the next button
Opening Credits: N Sync - This I Promise You
First Day At School: Bowling For Soup - Summer of 69
Falling In Love: Semisonic - One True Love
Isnt it ironic?
Fight Song: Expose - Come Go With Me
Breaking Up: The Monroes - What Do All The People Know
Life's OK: Disturbed - Land of Confusion
I guess its not that ok..
Mental Breakdown: Los Trio Panchos - Quizas Quizas Quizas
Driving: Psuedo Echo - Funkytown
Flashback: Ryan Tedder - The Look
Wtf?!
Getting Back Together: Oasis - Dont Look Back In Anger
This should have been the last one
Wedding: Coldplay - Talk
Birth of Child: Sarah Mclachlan - Dear God
Wtf?!?!
Death Scene: Uncle Kracker - Follow Me
Now I'm a cult leader...
Funeral Song: Sarah Mclachlan - I Will Remember You
WTF?!?!
End Credits: Living Colour - Broken Hearts
Fubar...
**********
*******************************************************
* I am aware now of how
* Everything’s gonna be fine one day
* Too late,
* I’m in hell...
*******************************************************
Tell you what, Lor. We'll get a redneck keyboard just for you. Your can type in your password as "Chicken, rooster, cow, pig.."
-- Robbie, from a conversation at the office.
::: Tower View :::
Diet Rite
I was buying a large bag of Purina dog food at the local grocery store and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked "Oh, do you have a dog?"
On impulse, I said "No, I don't have a dog, but I am starting 'The Purina Diet' again. I probably shouldn't because the last time I did it, I ended up in the hospital. But I did lose 50 pounds before I had to go to intensive care with IVs in both arms."
She continued to look amazed as I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with the Purina nuggets. Anytime you feel hungry, you simply eat one or two. The food is nutritionally complete so it was perfect. I simply had to try it again.
Horrified, she asked "Did you end up in intensive care because of an allergic reaction to the the dog food? Or did it poison you?"
I replied "Oh no. I was sitting in the street licking my balls when a car hit me."
-- And if you believe that, I've got some beach front property in Nevada to sell you. Hat tip: Fury
**********
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
This gum tastes like rubber!
-- written next to a condom machine in a men's room
::: Tower View :::
Its All About The Suffering
After several months of blood, sweat, and tears (mostly tears), the largest cycling charity event has been completed. I must thank my sponsors Fury, Tigress, Kitty, Lraw, and of course, the Shima clan, for funding me for this event.
So after two days and 168 miles, its time to take stock in what I learned:
Now perhaps I can get back to playing video games on the weekends.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
In the jungle, a lion sleeps tonight. What is a weebowa anyway?
**********
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Lars: Careful Stacy! We wouldnt you to fall on your back with your legs up.
Me: Why not?
-- from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
Questions and Answers
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
3. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
4. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
6. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
7. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
8. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
17. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to start speaking?
19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
30. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
(Hat tip: Kitty)
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
When she says "Not there!" she means it.. I feel sorry for the guy who didnt heed that warning.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
The Enemy Within by Rush
I'm not giving in
To security under pressure...
I'm not missing out
On the promise of adventure...
I'm not giving up on implausible dreams,
Experience to extremes...
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece of shit Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?
-- Gunnery Sgt. Hartman from Full Metal Jacket
::: Tower View :::
Survey Says!
1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
Hmm.. Only one? This may take some time to decide.
2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
Hmm.. Only one? This may take some time to decide.
3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I can only pick ONE person?
My noisy neighbor who cant park his POS car in between the two white lines.
4. What is your favorite cheese?
American
5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal.
Bologna on sourdough with mayo, lettuce, and onion.
6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie (porn counts) celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?
Porn: Nikki Charm; Non-Porn: Diane Lane
7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?
Andrea Corr from The Corrs
8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Do you realize how much Astroglide I need to buy now that I'm sleeping with celebrities?!
9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Las Vegas
10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
Take a nap
11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is...?
Ketel One
12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
Early 1970s, buying stocks for Microsoft when they were $5 a share...
13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
Its my house! If you dont like it, you can get the f__k out!
14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?
Cooking with Bill, the Belching Gourmet
15. What is your favorite curse word?
F_ck
16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Look for the bastard reading out of the Book of the Dead. This is probably Brendan Fraser's fault...
17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the item? My wallet. I can buy everything else.
18. The Angel Of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel Of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
I know how it would start: "Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee, God, for forgiveness."
19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?
To make me and the clothes I wear, invisible. That was Claude Rain's mistake...
20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
Hmm.. Only one? This may take some time to decide.
21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? (the answer "nothing" doesn't count).
Hmm.. Only one? This may take some time to decide.
22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit... you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin'! What country are you going to live in now?
England. I already watch most of their tv anyway.
23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?
The V Bar in Las Vegas
24. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out... Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude, check it out... I can FLOAT!"?
Definately Fury's house
25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier have given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?
Megan Leigh. Hey, I can sleep with celebrities now.
26. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn't think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
Lisa Deleeuw. Hey, I can sleep with celebrities now.
27. What's your theme song?
Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park
Thanks go to Fury for this one.
**********
California Dreaming
Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, in California?
California became a state. The State had no electricity. The State had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gun fights in the streets.
So basically, it was just like California today except the women had real breasts and men didn't hold hands.
(Hat tip: Kooker)
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Its Yakko's World. And we are just living in it.
**********
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Jill: I thought you liked taking the front?
Me: No, I prefer being on top.
-- conversation during a training ride
::: Tower View :::
Stress By Any Other Name
I havent been around in so long that I feel guilty. Work is getting slightly better.
Instead of being triple booked during the day, I'm only double booked. Then there are the 100 mile ride weekends in preparation for the big ride next month. I will probably have to dwindle the length of the posts and go for just plain mass hysteria.
So all this stuff made me curious about corporate personalities and I found this. Its the Kingdomality Personal Preference Profile
Mine came out as:
Your distinct personality, The Doctor might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. Your emotions and feelings are reality based. You are not misled with half formed ideas nor are you given to radical or high risk experimentation. You follow the tried and true and do not waste time thinking about things that cannot be seen, touched, heard, felt or smelled. On the positive side, you can become an exceptional expert in your particular area of the helping professions. You can deliver and maintain consistent and beneficial service to others. You do not lose sight of the reality of the situation and can usually control your own emotions. On the negative side, your emotions may want to be sensually satisfied which might lead to too much food, drink or other sensual pleasures. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms.
I knew I should have went to medical school.
**********
Sign of the Times
How do you know you are getting old?
* You go to your 20 year high school reunion and too many people do not recognize you.
* You have gray hair in your goatee. And you only have 5 hairs there to begin with.
* You notice gray hair in other places that really shouldnt be mentioned.
* I was referring to my arms you sick people.
**********
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
No project is complete until its in a three ring binder.
-- from a conversation at work
::: Tower View :::
Smashing Success
If you hadnt heard yet, the World's Cup final between Italy and France was a few days ago.
The French soccer star Zinedine Zidane, in what surmounts to be his last match, lost his composure and butted his head into Italian Marco Materazzi.
Here is a guy who annoying you by bad mouthing you, your team, and your country. He's also been kicking you, elbowing you, and pushing you around. So what do you? You turn around and smack the hell out of him!
Or in this case, drive your head into this guy's chest and knock him flat on his back.
Now how cool was that?! How often do we ever get to smack the hell out of some jerk who is bugging us?!
Granted, Zidane's act probably did cost France the World Cup title. When Zidane was ejected from the game, the French lost one of their best shooters. The game was eventually decided on penalty kicks and they lost by 1.
Just to prove once again, that for every action you do, their is some price to be paid.
Then again, what the hell is anyone going to do about it?! Fire him? He was retiring anyway.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
Its the Lego World Cup! Let me know when they get to Lego pron... hehehe...
**********
::: Background Noise :::
The Walls Came Down by The Call
Well, they blew their horns
And the walls came down...
They'd all been warned
And the walls came down...
They stood their laughing...
They're not laughing any more...
*******************************************************
* But I'm a creep
* I'm a weirdo
* What the hell am I doing here?
* I dont belong here
*******************************************************
Valium, Prozac, and Ritalin. Breakfast of champions.
-- Lou from the movie Mean Guns
::: Tower View :::
Happy Birthday, USA!
Everyone please have a enjoyable and safe Fourth of July! No putting the fireworks in your ears...
**********
From the "WTF?!" File
Ever wonder how some people end up with their high priced salaries? I do, especially after conversations such as this..
Professional programmer tester:Is this numeric field supposed to be in upper case or lower case?
Me: Ummm..Upper case.
Professional programmer tester:Ok, thanks! Tester walks away
And if you cant figure out what is wrong with that, then you dont deserve to be making over minimum wage either.
**********
::: Out In The Yard :::
The Polish group Polska Gola makes a video to sing the soccer theme "Ole ole ole" This is one reason why I watch the World Cup. Ha!
**********
Robbie McKewn wins Stage 2 of the Tour while Thor takes back the yellow jersey. Not bad for a guy who yesterday was given the finger and fell to the ground bleeding.
**********
::: Background Noise :::
Zoot Suit Riot by Cherry Popping Daddies
Zoot suit riot...
Riot!
Throw back a bottle of beer...
Zoot suit riot...
Riot!
I'll run a comb through
Your coal black hair...
The Steward
