Castle Shima

Time is the cruelest teacher; first she gives the test, then teaches the lesson.
-- Anonymous

::: Tower View :::
In The End


**********

************************************************
You'll never know why
Your face has haunted me
My very soul has to bleed this time
Another hole in the wall of
My inner defenses
************************************************

I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

::: Background Noise :::
Given Up by Linkin Park

Wake in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace
Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape

I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up
I'm sick of living
Is there nothing you can say?

Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me

I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm scared
I'm not prepared
I hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow somewhere
And no one cares

I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up
I'm sick of living
Is there nothing you can say

Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me

God!

Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my
Put me out of my fucking misery

I've given up
I'm sick of living
Is there nothing you can say

Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me

Its the original version printed in the Minutes to Midnight booklet.
**********

************************************************
You'll never know why
Your face has haunted me
My very soul has to bleed this time
Another hole in the wall of
My inner defenses
************************************************

Dreams have but one owner at a time. That is why dreamers are lonely.
-- Erma Bombeck

::: Background Noise :::
I Can See It In Your Eyes by Men At Work

By your leave
I think that I'll be going now.
I think I've stayed a little long.
I looked up all my mother's recipes.
I can't think what I did wrong.

We go to a restaurant,
But you don't like wine
You say it's love you want,
But there is no time.
I realize,
I can see it in your eyes.
You keep staring at the floor.

I used to look at your school photographs,
But I don't have them anymore.
I wonder who's in my old college rooms
Or stuck on my old locker door.

I dream of the ships at sea,
On a stormy night
I wish that it was me,
But I wake in fright.
I realize,
I can see it in your eyes.
I've only got myself to blame.

Winter kisses when your lips were blue,
Like chasing wild geese in the snow.
Pressing faces
On the window panes,
But that's a long long time ago.

We go to a restaurant.
You say its love you want.
I realize,
I can see it in your eyes.
You're moving on to something more.
**********

************************************************
You'll never know why
Your face has haunted me
My very soul has to bleed this time
Another hole in the wall of
My inner defenses
************************************************

Paradise. I see flowers from the cottage where I lie.
-- Death Poem by Yaitsu

::: Tower View :::
The Endless Fields
I had a real hard time with this entry. Part of it is because of the sensative subject, but also because its about someone I only know by a name. I only knew Ashley as a fellow blogger and a mother. Matter of fact, she and her husband had their second child just last month.

So when I was shown this article about her death, I was at a loss of words. Other than giving your sympathy to the family and friends, what else can you say?

You remember the things that made them special. In this case, Ashley would joke about her little sproglets as well as trade barbs with the UF fans since she was a LSU fan. Last night, she was simply estatic as her precious Tigers won the national championship.

And today she's simply gone. Just a void that was just filled yesterday.

I'm not sure there is more that can be said so I toiled to find something that a better wordsmith could say.

From the Declaration Of The Free by Robert G. Ingersoll
Is there beyond the silent night
An endless day?
Is death a door that leads to light?
We cannot say.

God speed, AshPeaMama.
**********

************************************************
You'll never know why
Your face has haunted me
My very soul has to bleed this time
Another hole in the wall of
My inner defenses
************************************************

There are moments in your life when you really miss someone that you want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.
-- Anonymous

::: Tower View :::
We All Need One
Someone once told me that these were important. That was a lifetime ago and you dont realize how much you miss them when they arent there any more.


moar funny pictures
**********

************************************************
You'll never know why
Your face has haunted me
My very soul has to bleed this time
Another hole in the wall of
My inner defenses
************************************************

We're going back to the docks. Someone is in for a fucking smack.
-- Morty from Layer Cake

::: Tower View :::
Game On
I had got into the Yoshida Brothers music inadvertantly when I first heard them on the Majic Monkey song Change. I even posted the video the other day. And every time I heard it, I kept thinking how their string instruments sounded so damn familiar.

Then it hit me. They are the ones playing the music on the Nintendo Wii commericals.

Sure enough, the main theme is a remix of one of their songs, Kodo (Inside The Sun remix). The downside is that Nintendo shortened the song by 2 minutes so to fit on their first commercial.



There really isnt a good video available for the full version right now. The original song is available, but is missing the dance beat that the remix gives.
**********

************************************************
You'll never know why
Your face has haunted me
My very soul has to bleed this time
Another hole in the wall of
My inner defenses
************************************************

Oh, what memories I'm taking with me.
-- Diane from Torchwood

::: Tower View :::
Tossed Like A Stone
I've tried to listen to more Lacuna Coil after their cover of Enjoy The Silence. Here is a very haunting song along with a very fitting fan based video. I'm liking the lyrics more and more.

And now the beat inside me
Is a sort of a cold breeze
And I've never had any feeling inside
Ruining me
Bring my body
Carry it into another world
I know I live
But like a stone
I'm falling down

Falling Again by Lacuna Coil

**********

************************************************
You'll never know why
Your face has haunted me
My very soul has to bleed this time
Another hole in the wall of
My inner defenses
************************************************

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
-- Carl W. Buechner

::: Tower View :::
I Can't Change This
I've been trying forever to see if there was a good video for this song. Then a small production company made one and it was absolutely brilliant! They had a decent actor, a good location, and a fantastic ending. The black and white film helped make the mood.

So when I thought I could put it here, they bloody well removed the video!

I was so disappointed because it was so damn good. Worse part is that I have forgotten the name of the production company so I'm pretty much SOL.

Since I started this post, I might as well finish it. This particular video has been around for awhile and is pretty good too.

Congratulations by Blue October


One of these days, I'll actually have some content other than music streams.
**********

************************************************
You'll never know why
Your face has haunted me
My very soul has to bleed this time
Another hole in the wall of
My inner defenses
************************************************

Tristan: You sort of, glitter now. Is that normal?
Yvaine: Lets see if you can work it out for youself. What do stars do?
Tristan: Hmm... Attract trouble?
-- from Stardust

::: Tower View :::
Catch A Falling Star
If you ever get a chance to watch the movie Stardust, I highly recommend it.

The movie is based off of the book from Neil Gaiman and directed by Matthew Vaughn, who also directed Layer Cake and produced Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.

Not only is the movie really good, but despite the low amount of advertising, there were alot of talent in it.

Some of the more well known names in the US are Claire Danes, Robert DeNiro, Michelle Pfiffer, Peter O'Toole, and Ian McKellen.

But there were a ton of notable British actors:
* Sienna Miller (Layer Cake, Keen Eddie)
* Rupert Everett (Shrek 2 & 3)
* Julian Rhind-Tutt (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Keen Eddie)
* Adam Fogerty (Snatch)
* Jason Flemyng (Layer Cake, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels)
* Sarah Alexander (Coupling)
* Ricky Gervais (The Office, Extras)
* Struan Rodger (Doctor Who)
* David Kelly (Charlie and The Chocolate Factory)
* Dexter Fletcher (Band of Brothers, Layer Cake, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels)

Hmm.. Noticing a theme here. Then again, the fact I recognized so many of these people only proves that I have no life whatsoever.

Here is the most excellent song played during the credits.

Rule The World by Take That

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************************************************
You'll never know why
Your face has haunted me
My very soul has to bleed this time
Another hole in the wall of
My inner defenses
************************************************

When the music changes, so does the dance.
-- African proverb

::: Tower View :::
I Need A Change
I was going to use this for the quote, but its abit too big to fit. Considering the thoughts for today, I just felt that it had to be said.

Besides, I couldnt think of anything else and this one is too cool to pass up.

Change is the end result of all true learning. Change involves three things:
First, a dissatisfaction with self - a felt void or need.

Second, a decision to change - to fill the void or need;

And third, a conscious dedication to the process of growth and change - the willful act of making the change; Doing Something!
-- Anonymous

Change by Monkey Majik w the Yoshida Brothers

**********

************************************************
You'll never know why
Your face has haunted me
My very soul has to bleed this time
Another hole in the wall of
My inner defenses
************************************************

What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.
-- Pericles

::: Tower View :::
Flip The Page
Every story has a beginning, middle, and an end.

I'm not quite sure where this story is, but today brings the end of a chapter for alot of people. Its New year's Eve and tomorrow brings in a new year, new hopes, and above all, a new calendar. So lets bring this small piece to an end.

From PostSecret


Happy New Year's everyone. Stay frosty. Stay safe.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Closing Time by Semisonic
Closing time
Open all the doors
And let you out into the world

Closing time
Turn all of the lights on
Over every boy and every girl

Closing time
One last call for alcohol
So finish your whiskey or beer

Closing time
You don't have to go home
But you can't stay here

I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home

Closing time
Time for you to go out
To the places you will be from

Closing time
This room won't be open
Till your brothers or your sisters come

So gather up your jackets,
Move it to the exits
I hope you have found a friend

Closing time
Every new beginning comes from
Some other beginning's end

************************************************
Noose around a choking heart
Eternity torn apart
Slow toll now the funeral bells
I need to die to feel alive
************************************************

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams

::: Tower View :::
You've Woken The Demon
Result! Here is another great combination of music with the movie Akira. Its another family oriented song too.

Down With The Sickness by Disturbed

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************************************************
Noose around a choking heart
Eternity torn apart
Slow toll now the funeral bells
I need to die to feel alive
************************************************

Be excellent to each other.
-- Bill from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

::: Tower View :::
I Got A Lump Of Coal

moar funny pictures
**********

************************************************
Noose around a choking heart
Eternity torn apart
Slow toll now the funeral bells
I need to die to feel alive
************************************************

Memories are meant to fade. They're designed that way for a reason.
-- Mace from Strange Days

::: Tower View :::
Poverty And Power
I've always loved anime, specifically Akira. You could say I was born from Akira. Enjoy!

O Fortuna Remixed

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************************************************
Noose around a choking heart
Eternity torn apart
Slow toll now the funeral bells
I need to die to feel alive
************************************************

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy. For what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves. We must die to one life before we can enter another.
-- Anatole France

::: Tower View :::
Should Have Changed My Fucking Lock
I always loved this cover version and never realized there was a video for it. Time to jam.

I Will Survive by Cake

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************************************************
Noose around a choking heart
Eternity torn apart
Slow toll now the funeral bells
I need to die to feel alive
************************************************

We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.
-- Chuck Palahniuk

::: Tower View :::
Memorial
For Clan Mp...

She Is Gone by David Harkins
You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
Or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her only that she is gone,
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,
Be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
Smile, open your eyes,
Love and go on.
**********

************************************************
Noose around a choking heart
Eternity torn apart
Slow toll now the funeral bells
I need to die to feel alive
************************************************

If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.
-- Oscar Wilde

::: Tower View :::
Beat Those Little Bastards!
27

Thanks to Starfury for this one.
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************************************************
Noose around a choking heart
Eternity torn apart
Slow toll now the funeral bells
I need to die to feel alive
************************************************

You have broken what could not be broken! Now, hope is broken.
-- Merlin from Excalibur

::: Tower View :::
My World Is Half Asleep
Here is a decent video with Christopher Ecceleston as The Doctor. He played the Ninth Doctor, prior to David Tennant.

The song is abit mushy, but what the heck. We all need a bit of mush every so often. Heh.


**********

************************************************
Noose around a choking heart
Eternity torn apart
Slow toll now the funeral bells
I need to die to feel alive
************************************************

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.
-- Norman Cousins

::: Tower View :::
After My Picture Fades

Time After Time by QuietDrive

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************************************************
Noose around a choking heart
Eternity torn apart
Slow toll now the funeral bells
I need to die to feel alive
************************************************

There was no reason for me to stay in the real world any longer. In the real world, it didn't matter if I was there or not. When I realized that, I was no longer afraid of losing my body.
-- Chisa from Serial Experiments: Lain

::: Tower View :::
Without Further Adieu
First and foremost, I need to say Happy Belated Birthday to the brodyman, Starfury. Many more, sir!

I Exist
Serial Experiments: Lain is an anime series that touches on life, existance, and the Wired. What is life? Is it the one we live here or perhaps its the one in a virtual world? And if we were within that virtual world, would we know the difference?

Mad World by Gary Jules

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************************************************
Noose around a choking heart
Eternity torn apart
Slow toll now the funeral bells
I need to die to feel alive
************************************************

We could have both gone away. We could have died together. Then at least I would have known I had a place in your heart.
-- Kei from Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade

::: Tower View :::
Just Kill Me, Bill!
I've always liked this song even before it was part of the Halo2 soundtrack. This video seemed so more fitting since its also from Jin-Roh.

Blow Me Away by Breaking Benjamins

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************************************************
Noose around a choking heart
Eternity torn apart
Slow toll now the funeral bells
I need to die to feel alive
************************************************

One thing is sure. We have to do something. We have to do the best we know how at the moment. If it doesn't turn out right, we can modify it as we go along.
-- Franklin D. Roosevelt

::: Tower View :::
Never Forget
Today is the anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor. We honour those who lost their lives this day.
**********

Change of Pace
While I was working on National Novel Month (aka Nanowrimo), I found quotes and poets I never even considered. Granted, I failed Nanowrimo again, but thats another story.

I've always known Henry Rollins as the musician and the actor. He's even got his own television show on the Independant Film Channel. But as a poet, I definately am gaining a new respect for him.

Here was one of my favorites:
My feelings for you shame me into silence. The truth of this and your name will never be revealed.

It is you who has made me realize the failure of my life.

The thought of you fills me with longing and at the same time, a burning humiliation that produces scar tissue and dead brain cells. Your existence mocks me and I am unable to confront this.

You have no idea of any of this. None of this is your fault. It is completely with me.

It is you who makes me see what I really am.

I am weak and out of touch with myself.
**********

************************************************
Noose around a choking heart
Eternity torn apart
Slow toll now the funeral bells
I need to die to feel alive
************************************************

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.
-- Lance Armstrong

::: Tower View :::
We Didnt Start The Bubble
I tried to have at least one entry that didnt have a video attached, but this one is just to funny to pass up.



Thanks Pixelfish!
**********

************************************************
Noose around a choking heart
Eternity torn apart
Slow toll now the funeral bells
I need to die to feel alive
************************************************

You can't be scared of death. When that time comes, it comes.
-- Shawn Taylor, ironically from his last known interview.

::: Tower View :::
My December
Yet another music video, but a very impressive one.


**********

************************************************
Noose around a choking heart
Eternity torn apart
Slow toll now the funeral bells
I need to die to feel alive
************************************************

When dreaming, I'm guided through another world, time and time again. At sunrise I fight to stay asleep, because I dont want to leave the comfort of this place, because there's a hunger, a longing to escape, from the life I live when I'm awake.
-- Anonymous

::: Tower View :::
Spinning Turning Watching Burning
Here is a song I've been singing alot lately. Granted its been in the car so no one could get hurt. That is unless you happened to be in the car as well. Then we are wiping the blood from your ears.

Spin by Lifehouse

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************************************************
Its not the tree that forsakes the flower
But the flower that forsakes the tree
Someday I'll learn to love these scars
Still fresh from the red hot
Blade of your words
************************************************

All our lives we search for someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance the song of heartbreak and hope all the while, wondering if somewhere, somehow there is someone searching for us.
-- Anonymous

::: Tower View :::
Dance Damn It!
I absolutely refuse to watch that dancing show, but I will admit that I love to dance. It must be because of my love of music.

Some dancing is just too mushy, even for me. This video is a prime example.



Thanks Mermaid. I blame you for this. Hehehe...
**********

************************************************
Its not the tree that forsakes the flower
But the flower that forsakes the tree
Someday I'll learn to love these scars
Still fresh from the red hot
Blade of your words
************************************************

As for me, to love you alone, to make you happy, to do nothing which would contradict your wishes, this is my destiny and the meaning of my life
-- Napoleon Bonapart

::: Tower View :::
I'll Be Around

**********

************************************************
Its not the tree that forsakes the flower
But the flower that forsakes the tree
Someday I'll learn to love these scars
Still fresh from the red hot
Blade of your words
************************************************

When you remember me, do not recall the king or the hero. Remember me as a man; frail and fragile.
-- Beowulf

::: Tower View :::
The Word According to Gaiman
I finally got to watch Beowulf. It was definately worth it, especially in full 3d.


I didnt realize that my favorite author, Neil Gaiman, helped produce and write this version of the epic poem. He has always been able to write something that intrigued me as well as touched my senses. American Gods is one of my favorite books for so many reasons.

Here is one of my favorite quotes from Gaiman:

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it?

It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.

You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life.

You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.

Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like "maybe we should be just friends" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.

It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

I hate love.
**********

************************************************
Its not the tree that forsakes the flower
But the flower that forsakes the tree
Someday I'll learn to love these scars
Still fresh from the red hot
Blade of your words
************************************************

The great essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
-- Joseph Addison

::: Tower View :::
For The Halo Fans
From I Can Has Cheezburger site:


moar funny pictures
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************************************************
Its not the tree that forsakes the flower
But the flower that forsakes the tree
Someday I'll learn to love these scars
Still fresh from the red hot
Blade of your words
************************************************

I treasure my remark to a grandson who asked, "Grandpa, were you a hero in the war?" "No", I answered, "But I served in a company of heroes".
-- Richard Winters, 101st Airborne Division

::: Tower View :::
Over The Hills and Far Away
I have never been in full combat nor had to fight for my freedom. Veterans from past, present and future have done that.

For that, this day, we give thanks.

I think I've posted this in the past, but it seems appropriate.

Although this is a traditional British song, its been used recently in the tv series Sharpe's Rifles. I've always liked the way it described a soldier's life. And if thought carefully, it still applies today as it did back then.

Over The Hills And Far Away by John Tams
There's forty shillings on the drum
For those who volunteer to come,
To 'list and fight the foe today
Over the Hills and far away

O'er the hills and o'er the main
Through Flanders, Portugal and Spain
King George commands and we obey
O'er the hills and far away

When duty calls me I must go
To stand and face another foe
But part of me will always stray
Over the hills and far away

Through smoke and fire and shot and shell,
And to the very walls of hell,
But we shall stand and we shall stay
Over the hills and far away

If I should fall to rise no more
As many comrades did before
Then ask the fifes and drums to play
Over the hills and far away

Then fall in lads behind the drum
With colours blazing like the sun
Along the road to come what may
Over the hills and far away

Though kings and tyrants come and go
A soldier's life is all I know
I'll live to fight another day
Over the hills and far away.
**********

************************************************
Its not the tree that forsakes the flower
But the flower that forsakes the tree
Someday I'll learn to love these scars
Still fresh from the red hot
Blade of your words
************************************************

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
-- Tim Allen

::: Tower View :::
Chasing Cars
I've always been a fan of Doctor Who, now more than ever.

**********

************************************************
Its not the tree that forsakes the flower
But the flower that forsakes the tree
Someday I'll learn to love these scars
Still fresh from the red hot
Blade of your words
************************************************

If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.
-- Sarah from The Crow

::: Tower View :::
Sunset
A friend of mine recently had her mother pass away. It reminded me of when Adnil lost her grandmother, who was the one who raised her. I handled that moment badly as well.

Just as it was back then, there were no words that I could say that would make things any easier. The best I could do was to give a prayer and condolensces. If I remember correctly, I even screwed that up on both occasions.

The words are best left to those more eloquent than I could ever be.

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

In the end, life goes on and so must we. Light a candle for those remembered.
**********

************************************************
Its not the tree that forsakes the flower
But the flower that forsakes the tree
Someday I'll learn to love these scars
Still fresh from the red hot
Blade of your words
************************************************

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
-- George Carlin

::: Tower View :::
Scary Movies
Its Halloween today. Candy. Ghosts. Goblins. The whole shebang.

Since I am such a lazy bastard, I've grabbed a few trailers from a couple of films. Two really scary films and two feel good types.

Here is the scary stuff:




Here are the feel good movies:




Make sure to bring the popcorn.
**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

Music is the harmonious voice of creation; an echo of the invisible world.
-- Giuseppe Mazzini

::: Tower View :::
Nothing Is Real
Living Colour has always been a favourite band of mine. When I heard that their song Cult of Personality is going to be on Guitar Hero 3, I went into overdrive and started looking up their videos.

Here is another great song from them called Type
.
**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

Duty is the great business of a sea officer; all private considerations must give way to it, however painful it may be.
-- Lord Horatio Nelson

::: Tower View :::
Surviving The Day
During the war against Napoleon, when Admiral Nelson wanted to know how many people were dead, he would ask, "What's the butcher's bill for today?"

I felt the same way recently.

Recently, my company has gone through some layoffs. Out of the 80 people released from the Information Technology (IT) division, my dept contained 30 of those people. There were 3 out of my own area; one whom reported to me.

It felt strange because I had forgotten that it was going to happen. We had be warned that it was coming, but it been nearly a decade since something like this even occurred.

One by one, people were getting phone calls to walk over to a conference room in the main building so that they would be given the news that they had just lost their job.

A few of us even had the idea of walking over to the building, go to a conference room on a different floor, then call someone we knew. If they were brave enough to answer, we would just ask them to look up our calendar.

Funny? Yes. Mean? Absolutely. Cruel? Perhaps.

What would have been really cruel would be to lose your job, then realize, you cant afford to lose it. That you live from check to check and barely surviving.

I would hate for anyone to lose their job, but would hate even more for them to be put in that situation.

Lord knows that I am already in that predicament.
**********

Shadow of the Day

**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill.
-- Blade

::: Tower View :::
I'm No Hero

**********

****************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain whats lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
****************************************

Hazel: Lord Frith, I know you've looked after us well, and its wrong to ask even more of you. But my people are in terrible danger, and so I would like to make a bargain with you. My life in return for theirs.
Frith: There is not a day or night that a doe offers her life for her kittens. Or some honest captain of Owsla, his life for his chief. But there is no bargain. What is, is what must be.
-- from Watership Down

::: Tower View :::
For Fuck's Sake
There are just some days that you just need to say "fuck it." That no matter what happens, you can do no right and only damage and hurt follow in your wake.



If you've never seen the movie Snatch, I highly recommend it. Not only is there alot of swearing, which I'm really good at, but the story is funny as hell.
**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

Like most things, I am nothing.
-- Li Mu Bai from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

::: Tower View :::
This World Is Only Going To Break Your Heart
Wicked Game by H.I.M


**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

Once you have accepted your destiny, nothing can alter it unless time flows backwards, snow falls in the spring, and the dead come back to life.
-- Goddess Manshen from The Promise

::: Tower View :::
I'm Waiting For My Real Life To Begin
The song is originally from Colin Hay of Men at Work fame. This version from the tv show Scrubs was really well done.


**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

Keep the sand out of your weapons. Keep those actions clear. I'll see you on the beach.
-- Capt. Miller from Saving Private Ryan

::: Tower View :::
Son of a Beach
Every year I participate in the MS150, which is the main fundraiser for the Multiple Sclerosis Society. Bicyclists from around the area will ride either 150 miles or 150 km (120 miles) during the course of two days in order raise money to fight MS.

Since the route goes along the ocean following the beach line, the view is actually quite good. It makes up for the series of bridges that have to be climbed in order to get to the finish line on both days.

The downside is that for our region, its not 150 miles, but rather 164 miles. Bastards.

Granted, this year's MS150 would be exceptional since its the first time that Team Blue (formerly the KBT team) would be corporately sponsored and we would have money to spend on things such as a support vehicle, a corporate recovery tent, and of all things, food.


So with apologies to Peter King...

The Ten Things I Think I Know About The MS150, 2007 edition
1) Whose idea was it to have us ride during a damn monsoon? Day 1 consisted of 20mph winds and that was the easy day. Day 2 had 30mph winds and we had to finish the last 25 miles going straight into it.

2) Ever been to the beach during high winds? Its like being sandblasted; the damn stuff cuts into everything, including you. Paint has actually been taken off my bicycle. On the good side, it works great for removing that extra skin.

3) There was no shortage of fluids this year. It would have been preferred to drink the water as opposed to wearing it as the rain continously poured down on us. Add the wind and the rain actually hurt.

4) Another Team Blue rider decided he wanted a challenge so he wrecked his bike on a wet bridge grate. This was just so he could convert his very expensive bike to a single speed and suffer thru the last 15 miles of Day 1.

5) All season, after putting in almost 1,500 miles and not a single major injury, what happens? My knee begins to ache after the first 40 miles on Day 1. After 50 miles, I had a limp. After 60, every pedal stroke actually hurt. I ended up dropping from an average of 20mph to 15mph and consuming nearly a bottle of Advil. Day 2 was more annoying when my average speed dropped to 10mph because of the damn winds.

6) I wasnt the only victim to injury. In separate incident, a fellow Team Blue rider was injured when his razor jumped up out of his shaving kit bag and bit him on the finger.

7) The biggest battle on day 1: Watching a Team Blue rider attempt to circumvent the fence that blocked his way to lunch. Unfortunately the Fence won the match 2 - 0 and Big G was forced to walk the long way around to get his turkey wrap.

8) At the end of Day 1, we had real burgers for the second lunch. At the end of Day 2, we had more burgers. Guess what I had for lunch yesterday and today?

9) For dinner, a few of us skipped the typical sponsored spaghetti dinner and went to the local Japanese steak house. We had a Spainaird chef cook our Japanese dinner over the teppanyaki grill while salsa music played in the background. All this while another chef, Japanese in heritage, screeched thru a very bad Engrish version of Happy Birthday to another patron. Diversity indeed.

10) Mental note to self: Next year, at the end of the day 2, even after battling high winds, be sure to pick up my finish line medal before flopping down on the ground, grabbing the knee in pain, and whimpering like a little girl. There is nothing like having to limp over to the elderly woman in a wheelchair who is stricken with MS as she hands you your medal. You come to the realization that what you went thru is nothing compared to what she has gone thru.

With that being said, its time to start winter training.
**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

Sometimes the people whom we've know for only a short amount of time have a bigger impact on us than those we've known forever.
-- Anonymous quote

::: Tower View :::
Pure Elegence
There are days that smiles are few and far between. We rely on others to bring that simple joy to us. Hope this brings you one.


**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

HOPELESS ROMANTIC seeks filthy whore.
-- seen on a t-shirt

::: Tower View :::
The Best Of You

**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

Death: So. Are you coming?
Hazel: I dont suppose I have any choice.
Death: No. I'm afraid you really don't.
-- from Death: The Time Of Your Life by Neil Gaiman

::: Tower View :::
What Would You Say?
This is absolutely brilliant. If we could only live our own lives int this way.
Hat tip to Alphabunny for this.



**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

Anna: Every time I think about this, I'm going to regret it!
William: Oh. Hm. Every time I think about this, I would of have been... happy...
-- from Notting Hill

::: Tower View :::
Filling The Box
I've been procrastinating again. In everything.

At least I finally got around in filling the memory box. Again. I'm really getting tired of doing this, but I collect way too many things.

Pictures of the Italian waterline, fountains, ducks, docks, raves, waves, bamboo gardens, and jewelry were the first to go in. Images of charity walks, the land of Oz, and pianos were put in as well. Even this silly picture of a sponge in a microwave went inside. I had that laying around for sometime.

How I got talked into more rave and trance cds, I will never know, but in they went along with the rest.

Then again, I have no idea why I have these pages on tiramisu, salads, iced coffee, and iced teas. I cant cook for shite and have no explanation for them.

The artwork for tattoo ideas were folded up and had to be slid into the side of the box. I'm amazed the damned things even fit.

The keychains with the toy football and toy soccer ball were slid inside the folds of the fleece blanket I used to keep out. Guess all three arent really necessary any more.

So I put this last set on the top of the stack and closed the box. Back into the recesses of the closet this goes until next time.

I really need to stop being such a packrat. Then again, its just hard to let go of some things.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
The Man Who Sold The World by Nirvana

For years and years I roamed
I gazed a gazely stare.
We walked a million hills.
I must have died alone
A long, long time ago.
Who knows?
Not me.
We never lost control.
You're face to face
With the man who sold the world.
**********

************************************************
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?
************************************************

I have always wanted to go home with you. That will not happen now.
-- Broken Sword from Hero

::: Tower View :::
Giving The Finger

You Are the Index Finger

You are ambitious, driven, and capable. You aren't afraid to take responsibility for your actions - or place the blame on whoever deserves it. You are honest, free thinking, and objective. You see things in your own way - and you aren't afraid to let everyone know about it. You get along well with: The Thumb Stay away from: The Ring Finger

I always figured I was the middle finger.
**********

************************************************
I cannot explain to you
In anything I say or do
But hope the actions
Speak the words they can
************************************************

She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen
-- Lloyd from Say Anything

::: Tower View :::
Meme for Whowho
Karrie Lyne tagged me for the 8 Things You May Not Know About Me list. Is this what it feels like when the cow gets the number attached to the ear?

This isnt anything new to anyone who really knows me. I am pretty much an open book.

1) I suffer from road rage. Well, not necessarily suffer. More like inflict it.

2) After every MS150 bicycle ride, I reward myself with something that I had always wanted to do. The first 2 were tattoos and the last one was an ear piercing.

3) My first tattoo is the Japanese Kanji for "Hero." The second is a dragon that surrounds the first. They look like they are one large tattoo.

4) At age 17, I went to party and had an extremely large amount of alcohol that night. When I woke up in my bed the next morning, I had no idea how I had gotten there. Afterwards, I didnt touch alcohol for over 10 years.

5) I used to compete in martial arts fighting. I think I would like to compete again.

6) I am an avid movie watcher, especially for Hong Kong martial art and action films.

7) I tend to be a workaholic.

8) Someone once told me that I prefer living in pain. I think they were correct in that assessment.

I wont tag anyone with this. I'm actually of the few folks that havent done this before.
**********

************************************************
I cannot explain to you
In anything I say or do
But hope the actions
Speak the words they can
************************************************

Jeff: They're onto us! They know exactly where we are!
Steve: Jeff, she's my girlfriend. She already knows where I live.
Jeff: Ex-girlfriend.
Steve: Which part of your brain thought that was a good thing to say?!
-- from Coupling

::: Tower View :::
Watch Here
I cant embed Avril Lavigne's video for When You're Gone, but its definately worth the viewing.

I found the segment of the widower touching. Guess I'm just a sentimental old sod.
**********

************************************************
I cannot explain to you
In anything I say or do
But hope the actions
Speak the words they can
************************************************

Ree: That would mean no hiking, camping, fishing, sailing, or sex.
Me: I can hear it now. "Medic! Man down! Get him up! Get him up!"
-- from a recent conversation

::: Tower View :::
Never Mess With The Guy With The Mic
Hat tip to TmCamp for this little gem. Kevin Smith rules!


**********

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

JW: Damn man. You're playing like a madman. What have you been taking?
Me: Its the steroids.
-- from this week's soccer match

::: Tower View :::
I'm Rated What?!
Hat tip to Starfury for this little gem.



I got this for the words pain and hurt.

Fuck that. I thought I would have been rated XXX.
**********

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

Me: Waiting to see if Geoff decides to suck the tip or not
-- from a recent conversation

::: Tower View :::
The Space Between
I didnt realize that its been over a month since I've updated this thing. Geezus, its been hectic.

My boss, Hem, had taken some time off again so I was watching the shop. And of course the first day he was gone, everything went to hell.

I've been able to ride every so often. The heat has been pretty unbearable, but still fun overall. I cant complain.

Well, I could, but whats the point of it all, hm?


At least they know how to keep cool.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Down With The Sickness by Disturbed

Open up your hate
And let it flow into me
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up come on get down with the sickness
Madness has now come over me

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

Oh yeah. Thats you. Dont need anything. Dont need anyone. Just you and your stupid job selling shrimp chips.
-- Jessica from Kiss of the Dragon

::: Tower View :::
Feels Like I'm Dying Here
The cycling season has been relatively quiet these past few weeks, but just enough to make me amiss in my updates. (Well that and I'm just a lazy bastard. I need to update the archives too. I didnt realize the link up top was broken.)

I recently rode a charity event that was 61 miles thru a wind storm. It not only caused severe cramps as we battled thru it, but there were experienced riders that had to get off their bike lest be blown over a bridge.

Those of us that normally average 17mph had to fight to keep 13mph. There were times where we dropped to 9mph.

And no matter how much it hurt, you kept going.


Then there was another charity ride that was done during what was might as well had been a monsoon.

Riding thru rain is one thing, but this downpour soaked my clothes within 5 minutes of just getting out of the Jeep. The socks were absolutely soaked before I even got my feet in the cleats.

And even then, it was a great ride. Wind and rain soaking thru to your bones. The water continuously stinging your eyes. The pain just drives you on.


Pedal. Keep pedaling. Legs are hurting. Pedal more. Back is sore. Pedal. Just pedal.

Maybe it really is all about the suffering.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Bleed It Out by Linkin Park

Death is rolling in every verse
Candy paint on his brand new hearse
Cant contain him
He knows he works
Fuck this hurts
I wont lie
Doesnt matter how hard I try
Half the words dont mean a thing
And I know I wont be satisfied

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

Harry: You were going to be a gymnast.
Sally: A journalist.
Harry: Right, that's what I said.
-- from When Harry Met Sally

::: Tower View :::
The Real Horror
As any man will attest to, these are the really scary movies that we see.

When Harry Met Sally


Sleepless In Seattle

**********

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young
-- anonymous quote

::: Tower View :::
Happy Mother's Day
Hope you mothers had a good day as well as you motherfu... errr... Anyways, Happy Mother's Day!

A Monkey Can Do Your Job
Hat tip to AlphaBunny for this little gem.

**********

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

Yip: I havent had lunch yet. I need something big and juicy in my mouth.
Me: Well, dear, that leaves me out.
-- from a conversation at work

::: Background Noise :::
What I've Done by Linkin Park

So let mercy come
And wash away

What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

For what I've done

I'll start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I'm forgiving what I've done

This song keeps going thru my mind. It must be because I'm impatiently waiting for their new cd Minutes to Midnight to be released on Tues.

Aye, thats it.
**********

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

Friendships are elective relationships. And they dont always last forever.
-- seen on a horrorscope

::: Tower View :::
I Got Your Humps Right Here
This is absolutely frigging brilliant! I've always loved Alanis' music, but this cover made me laugh like a madman. Enjoy!


**********

Look. An Idiot.
-- Valentine from MirrorMask

::: Tower View :::
Eternal Sunshine
I know I've put this out before, but it came to mind. Its a segment of a poem by Alexander Pope called Eloisa to Abelard.

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
Labour and rest, that equal periods keep;
"Obedient slumbers that can wake and weep;"
Desires compos'd, affections ever ev'n,
Tears that delight, and sighs that waft to Heav'n.
Grace shines around her with serenest beams,
And whisp'ring angels prompt her golden dreams.
For her th' unfading rose of Eden blooms,
And wings of seraphs shed divine perfumes,
For her the Spouse prepares the bridal ring,
For her white virgins hymeneals sing,
To sounds of heav'nly harps she dies away,
And melts in visions of eternal day.

Far other dreams my erring soul employ,
Far other raptures, of unholy joy:
When at the close of each sad, sorrowing day,
Fancy restores what vengeance snatch'd away,
Then conscience sleeps, and leaving nature free,
All my loose soul unbounded springs to thee.
Oh curs'd, dear horrors of all-conscious night!
How glowing guilt exalts the keen delight!
Provoking Daemons all restraint remove,
And stir within me every source of love.
I hear thee, view thee, gaze o'er all thy charms,
And round thy phantom glue my clasping arms.
I wake — no more I hear, no more I view,
The phantom flies me, as unkind as you.
I call aloud; it hears not what I say;
I stretch my empty arms; it glides away.
To dream once more I close my willing eyes;
Ye soft illusions, dear deceits, arise!
Alas, no more — methinks we wand'ring go
Through dreary wastes, and weep each other's woe,
Where round some mould'ring tower pale ivy creeps,
And low-brow'd rocks hang nodding o'er the deeps.
Sudden you mount, you beckon from the skies;
Clouds interpose, waves roar, and winds arise.
I shriek, start up, the same sad prospect find,
And wake to all the griefs I left behind.
**********

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

When I let her go, it felt like life itself was slipping through me fingers.
-- Constantine from Hellblazer: Rake At the Gates Of Hell

::: Tower View :::
Music In The Mind
Today's ride wasnt so bad. 64 miles of wind, sun, and insects can make for a day, but overall, nothing too damaging. Too bad the same cant be said about me singing.

On the longer rides, I have to have me music and of course, when I get to some strange point of exhaution and/or anger, I have to sing.

It forces the body to keep going and drives the mind inward to concentrate at the task on hand, even for a wee bit. Unfortunately, it just doesnt stop because the ride ended.

And so one of the songs that kept playing in my head after the ride was

Figure09 by Linkin Park
Nothing ever stops all these thoughts
And the pain attached to them
Sometimes I wonder
Why this is happening
Its like nothing I can do
Would distract me when
I think of how
I shot myself in the back again
Cause from the infinite words
I could say I
Put all pain
You gave to me on display
But didn't realize
Instead of setting it free I
Took what I hated
And made it a part of me

Never goes away
Never goes away

And now
You've become a part of me
You'll always be right here
You've become a part of me
You'll always be my fear
I can't separate
Myself from what I've done
Giving up a part of me
I've let myself become you

Hearing your name
The memories come back again
I remember when it
Started happening
I see you in every thought I had
And then
The thoughts slowly found words
Attached to them
And I knew as they escaped away
I was committing myself to them
And everyday
I regret saying those things
Cause now I see that I
Took what I hated
And made it a part of me

Never goes away
Never goes away

Get away from me!
Give me my space back
You got to just
Go!
Everything comes down
To memories of
You!
I've kept it in
But now I'm letting you
Know!
I let you go

So get away from
Me!
Give me my space back
You got to just
Go!
Everything comes down
To memories of
You!
I've kept it
But now I'm letting you
Know!
I let you go

And now
You've become a part of me
You'll always be right here
You've become a part of me
You'll always be my fear
I can't separate
Myself from what I've done
Giving up a part of me
I've let myself become you

I've let myself become you
I've let myself become
Lost inside
These thoughts of you
Giving up a part of me,
I've let myself become you
**********

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

"Goodbye, my love." He doesnt say it. There is no room for softness. No place for weakness. Not in Sparta.
-- Dilios from 300

::: Tower View :::
Prepare For Glory!
Hat tip to Fury for this awesome cartoon originally drawn by VG Cats.


**********

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

No. You dont ask any questions. You dont get any answers. You dont stray from the path. You dont even think about whats happening to you right now. Got it?
-- Marquis de Carabas from Neverwhere

::: Tower View :::
Neither Here Nor There
As you can probably tell from my latest series of entries, I've been watching the BBC mini-series, Neverwhere, which was originally written by Neil Gaiman, who happens to be one of my favorite authors.

I liked the story so much, I ended up with the graphic novel and paperback.

The story is about a man, Richard, who finds himself in an adventure after helping a wounded girl. As an after effect, most people dont acknowledge his very existance. It takes some effort for anyone to even see Richard despite the fact he may be right in front of them.

I always wondered what it would be like to be here, but not ever be seen. Practically invisible to everyone around you, even the ones who knew you the best.

Richard: You're looking very fine, Jessica.
Jessica: You have the advantage of me.
Richard: You're Jessica Bartram. You're a marketing executive at Stocktons. You're twenty six. Your birthday is April 23rd and in the throes of extreme passion you have a tendency to hum the Monkees song 'I'm a Believer.'
Jessica: Is this some kind of joke?
Richard: Oh, and we've been engaged for the last eighteen months.
Jessica: I rather think I'd know if I'd been engaged to someone for eighteen months, Mister...
Richard: Mayhew. Richard Mayhew. You dumped me and I don't exist anymore.

The world would certainly be a different place.
**********

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

In that other city, there was another life. There was another door that might still be open. Here, I broke no promises. Nobody would miss me. I dont look back. I didnt need to. The world healed itself behind me. And forgot that I had ever been.
-- Richard from Neverwhere

::: Tower View :::
Spring Cleaning
I looked around and realized all the things that I let accumulate over the winter. How in the hell did I let things get this way?

There was the actual Taco Bell menu I picked up because I was getting those taco salad cravings. That had to be tossed into the trash. I dont think I'll be having those for awhile.

In a box went the toy football helmets from Boise State and Florida after their tremendous games. Football season will never be the same.

The little toy dancing hamster was put away along with all the various pictures of cemetaries, glass clocks, sunrises, sunsets, hawaiian boats, boardwalks, and gondola rides. The rave cds werent really my taste, but they were different.

Finally, I folded up the winter blanket and placed it in its spot within the box.

Then the box was stored away into the closet, far in the back reaches.

The winter seems so long ago.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Goodbye by Night Ranger

Yet its hard
Living life on this memory-go-round
Always up
Always down
Turning round and round and round
And all this could be
Just a dream
So it seems
I was never much good at goodbye

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

You're born, you take shit. You get out in the world, you take more shit. You climb a little higher, you take less shit. Till one day you're up in the rarefied atmosphere and you've forgotten what shit even looks like.

Welcome to the layer cake son.
-- Eddie Temple from Layer Cake

::: Background Noise :::
Out The Back by Fort Minor

I'm no hero
You remember how I was
You know
All I ever did was worry
Feeling out of control
To the point where everything was going end over end

I'm spinning around in circles again
This is where you come in
All of this to explain
To you why
I had to separate myself away
From yesterday's life

Please remember
This isn't how I hoped it would be
But I had to protect you
From me

Thats why I slipped out the back
Before you knew I was there
I know you felt unprepared
But every single time I was around
I just bring you down
And I could tell that
It was time to be scared

Thats why I slipped out the back
Before you knew I was there
And I know the way I left wasnt fair
I didnt want to be around
Just to bring you down
I'm not a hero
But dont think I didnt care

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

::: Tower View :::
Hold Me
This came to mind after yesterday's tragedy at Virginia Tech.

All he wanted.

All he wanted was for someone to care about him. Someone to hold him. Someone to warm him.

Nobody would.

When we hold each other in the darkness, it doesnt make the darkness go away. The bad things are still out there. The nightmares are still walking.

When we hold each other, we feel-- not safe, but better. "Its all right," we whisper. "I'm here. I love you."

And we lie, "I'll never leave you."

Just for a moment or two, the darkness doesn't seem so bad. When we hold each other.
-- John Constantine from Hold Me. Written by Neil Gaiman.

Hold tight to your loved ones. They may be gone in that wee blink of an eye.

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

My Queen! My wife. My love.
-- King Leonidas from 300

::: Tower View :::
This is Sparta!
I know I've watched this movie abit too much. Matter of fact, I broke down and bought the hard bound copy of the graphic novel.

I had the first issue when it was first released, but didnt get a chance to get the rest of them.

So now, I've gone abit overboard.


Ah well, at least the view is good. Heh.
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
PvP pays tribute to 300. Gamers! Prepare for glory!
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt

I am a dreamer
And when i wake
You can't break my spirit
Its my dreams you take
And as you move on
Remember me
Remember us
And all we used to be

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

This is the curse of Jeff Murdoch. I've met the girl of my dreams and I cant take my trousers off.
-- Jeff from Coupling

::: Tower View :::
Vroom Vroom!
Hat tip: Fury

I'm a Ferrari 360 Modena!

You've got it all. Power, passion, precision, and style. You're sensuous, exotic, and temperamental. Sure, you're expensive and high-maintenance, but you're worth it.

"Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.
**********

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out so he gets the pleasure
-- from Chuck Norris Joke site

::: Tower View :::
Egg Time
Hope everyone had a good Easter. This came to mind this weekend.


That's it. I'm going to Hell.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
No Surrender by The Outfield

No surrender
Even if it's over
No surrender
Stop pretending
You never cared for me
Because I remember
Words that we shared
A promise to keep
If they meant nothing to you
Well they still mean a whole lot to me

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************

Ann McD: Wow, Ken! I havent seen you in awhile. Have you lost weight?
Me: No, I'm afraid not. I just wear bigger pants.
-- from a conversation at work

::: Tower View :::
Shhh!
This is one of funniest games I've ever seen.

The object is to try to be as quiet as possible when you are called upon to suffer the consequences. You almost feel sorry for the one guy who keeps getting penalized.

The big black man playing is Ernesto Hoost, a professional martial arts fighter. Its great to see a fighter with a sense of humour.



Too bad we couldnt do this over here.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Congratulations by Blue October

Is that seat taken?
Congratulations...
Would you like to take a walk with me?
My mind, it kind of goes fast.
I try to slow it down for you.
I think I'd love to take a drive.
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years...

*******************************************************
* If I should fall to rise no more,
* As many comrades did before,
* Ask the pipes and drums to play
* Over the hills and far away.
*******************************************************