Castle Shima

You wanna be Chinese, you got to eat the nasty stuff.
-- Nick Chen from The Corruptor

::: Tower View :::
Reminders Of Hospital Food
Since I'm from Asian heritage, its not uncommon for me to see strange looking food. Its actually bit expected. Whenever I took my Caucasian friends to a gathering, I always told them that if they couldnt recognize it, then dont eat it. It would be hard enough to explain that "Blood pudding" really wasnt made out of blood, although it did look like it.

Robbie and Jay talked me into going to lunch to a local Indian buffet place. Not a Native American restaurant, mind you, but as in India.

I've been there before and normally can identify the food on the line. I guess today was a special occasion because the only thing I could recognize was the white rice.

There was extremely green stuff followed by some really, really yellow stuff. Then there was the yellow and white stuff that someone mentioned as to having yogurt in it. Oh, and there was the deep red stuff that apparently was some kind of goat mixture.

I think the cook was offended when I asked what part of the goat they used for that concoction.

Suffice it to say, the rice and the items identified as chicken made it to the plate.
**********

Letter To The Office
It was time for the annual message to the team at the office so here is what I sent.

As another year will shortly be a memory, my heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me forwarded email over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Extra thanks for the ones that I have to open 15 times to get to the message.

Special thanks to whomever sent me the one about rat droppings in the glue on envelopes because I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi, or Dr Pepper, since the people who make these products are atheists who won't put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from, nor send packages by UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC, because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer have any sneakers, but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus, since I now have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul, because at last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.

I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends, stand on my head, and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings, because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.

Have a Merry Christmas and lets be careful out there.
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
The top 30 facts about how Chuck Norris can kick your arse. The beatings will continue until morale improves. (hat tip: Robbie)
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Never Going To Stop by Alter Bridge

On this day
I see clearly
Everything has come to life
In a place
In a broken dream
And we'll leave it all behind
On this day
Its so real to me
Everything has come to life
Another chance to chase a dream
Another chance to feel
Chance to feel alive

Dedicated to Angelia. Check out her very well written entry. Oh, and the picture is good too.

*cough cough* Hehehe...

*******************************************************
* Where are you
* And I'm so sorry
* I cannot sleep
* I cannot dream tonight
*******************************************************

Dont worry about life. You arent going to survive it anyway.
-- Anonymous saying

::: Tower View :::
Phone Etiquette
I guess when we are having a bad day, we pass it on to others via electronic means. As I was sitting in the office, the phone rings and the conversation goes on like this:

Me: Information Delivery Systems, this is Ken. How can I help you?
Caller: Umm... yeah, someone gave this number to call.
Me: Pardon?
Caller: Umm... someone named Ken Shima gave this number to call. Is this Ken?
Me: I'm sorry. May I ask who is calling?
Caller: Yeah, this is Diane. Is this Ken?
Me: May I ask what is about?
Caller: Is this Ken?
Me: May I ask what is about?
Caller: Well, this is Diane.
Me: And?
Caller: I was told to call this number.
Me: Ok...
Caller: Well, I'm Diane. Is this the right number?
Me: Yes it is. May I ask what this pertains to?
Caller: Ken had ordered this book and its on backorder.
Me: Ah ha! I got it! You're from the bookstore.
Caller: Oh.. yeah.. I'm from the bookstore. The warehouse called and said that your book is on backorder. It probably wont be in for at least three weeks.

I guess I could have abit kinder, but how hard would have it been to say "Hi, I'm from the bookstore and your book is on back order?" Instead, I had to go thru several minutes wondering if the IRS was coming after me.
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Best Buy has a password in order to buy the Xbox 360. Frig that. I'll go to Circuit City who will be more than happy to take my money. (hat tip: Gizmodo)
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Sleeping Satellite by Tasmin Archer

I blame you for the moonlit sky
And the dream that died
With the eagles' flight
I blame you for the moonlit nights
When I wonder why
Are the seas still dry?
Dont blame this sleeping satellite

*******************************************************
* Where are you
* And I'm so sorry
* I cannot sleep
* I cannot dream tonight
*******************************************************

The big question to ask when it comes to relationships is do you want to be lonely or annoyed?
-- Richard Jeni

::: Tower View :::
One More For The Spotlight
I was going to add Chloe to the sidebar, but then she beat me to the punch and added me to her blog.

I like her personal style of writing and insight. She's not as wild as many of the others that I read; more down to Earth. And quite frankly, we all need that kind of person in our lives.
**********

A Robert Frost Moment
My mood of recent times dictated that I put this out there...

Fire And Ice by Robert Frost

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Ionize your clothes clean. Which probably doesnt do a darn thing for the smell. Heh...
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Believe Me by Fort Minor

I used to have a little bit of a plan
Used to
Have a concept of where I stand
But that concept slipped right out of my hands
Now I don't really even know who I am

*******************************************************
* Where are you
* And I'm so sorry
* I cannot sleep
* I cannot dream tonight
*******************************************************

Give blood and get a hummer!
-- from a poster hanging at the gym

::: Tower View :::
Yet More Randomness
1. Finally! A title longer than two words.

2. Cache (In English, Hidden) looks like a damn good movie. What would you do when videos of you and your family suddenly began appearing at your doorstep? Check out the site here.

3. You tend to get worried when you are walking out of the men's room and your director is walking in. As you pass by, he mentions "Hey Ken! I heard about your comment at the meeting the other day..."

4. Weezer's frontman has been celibate for two years. Hell, a few folks I know can break that record. And it wasnt even their choice. *cough Doombringer cough*

5. Second Life is just as fun as The Sims2 and can be just as addicting.
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Man runs marathons for a living. Damn, I have enough problems just trying to walk to the car.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Still by Alanis Morissette

I am the harm which you inflict.
I am your brilliance and frustration.
I am the nuclear bombs if they're to hit.
I am your immaturity and your indignance.
I am your misfits and your praised.
I am your doubt and your conviction.
I am your charity and your rape.
I am your grasping and expectation.
I see you averting your glances.
I see you cheering on the war.
I see you ignoring your children,
And I love you still.

From the Dogma soundtrack...

*******************************************************
* Where are you
* And I'm so sorry
* I cannot sleep
* I cannot dream tonight
*******************************************************

My dad once told me that if I didnt shape up, he would make me pick my switch. I told him that if he didnt shape up that I would make him pick his nursing home.
-- Tim Hester

::: Tower View :::
Brain Damage
Sleep is a luxury that I dont have lately. Its really self-induced, probably because I dont want to dream. I dont want to see the memories and visions that flash in my eyes. And as much as I try to block them out, they come back even more fierce than before.

Years of training to see with my mind's eye come back to haunt me. Now I cant turn it off.

So then this comes to mind:

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;

Its from the poem Eloisa to Abelard by Alexander Pope and the inspiration for the movie Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (ironically enough).

What if we could erase those memories that hurt us the most? Would we do it? Should we do it? Would we lose those things that define who we are?

...And would it be worth it?
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Here is Jenna's poem about needing help. This is such a good one that I had to mark it.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Playground by The Outfield

I'm alone and
I'm lost in this playground
The lights are down on me
All alone and
Afraid in this playground
The city never sleeps
If you listen you won't understand
So confused I don't know where I am

*******************************************************
* Where are you
* And I'm so sorry
* I cannot sleep
* I cannot dream tonight
*******************************************************

I drink to stay warm and to kill few selected memories
-- Conor Oberst

::: Tower View :::
Installed Memory
I had seen this on Chloe's and The Mrs' blogs. Seems like an interesting concept.

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you!

So I figured, what the hell...

There was that time when we were having dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. You were ticked because the waiter, who made it apparent that he was gay, kept flirting with me. You werent sure if you were mad because you as a female should feel insulted or if it was another wait staff member hitting on me. You tolerated the waitresses, but now a waiter?

Good thing I dont have comments here. This should break the chain.
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Merry Christmas from Chewbacca. Somehow this is wrong. I dont know how, but it is. (blame: Anna)
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Only A Memory by The Smithereens

Why should it matter if I cry
I sit around and wonder why
Now I feel much too weak to live
And I've got nothing left to give
Now it's only a memory

*******************************************************
* What do you do
* When somebody lets you down
* And you want to say something
* But you can’t cause they're not around
*******************************************************

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.
-- Norman Cousins

::: Tower View :::
Brash Statements
I've been a little testy lately to say the least. Everyone at the office has noticed, but have been kind enough not to press the issue or have given me some space, especially when many of my conversations have been like these:

Mike: I think we have to get that documentation in by today.
Me: F*ck it. It'll get there when it gets there.

Patty: The Coffee Club needs decaf.
Me: That isnt all you f*ckers need.

Aimee: We can work on this tomorrow. You are going to be here, right?
Me: I dont know. You f*ckers are getting on my nerves.

Deedra: What about you Ken? What personal goals do you have for next year?
Me: I really need to spend some time out on the range.
Deedra: Oh? The golf range?
Me: Oh no. The firing range. I've got several pieces that really need to be used. And very soon.

I probably shouldnt have made that last comment in front of the Human Resources representative. Or even my manager as a matter of fact.
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Lance going to Italian court for defamation. "Wah! I couldnt beat him in the Tour De France. Then he chased me down and called me mean names. Sue him! Wah!"
**********

Your latest movie critics: Statler & Waldorf from The Muppet Show. And these guys should know. They've been in the business since the dinosaur age. (hat tip: Puppetvision)
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Krwlng by Linkin Park

This lack of self-control
I fear is never ending
Controlling
I cant seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
Without a sense
Of confidence
I’m convinced
Ihat there is just too much pressure to take
I’ve felt this way before
So insecure

*******************************************************
* What do you do
* When somebody lets you down
* And you want to say something
* But you can’t cause they're not around
*******************************************************

Patty: There are so many inappropriate toys for our boys nowadays.
Robbie: You want inappropriate toys? How about getting them the Brokeback Mountain action figures with kung fu grip?
-- from a conversation at work

::: Tower View :::
Welcome To South Park
I forget which blog directed me to the South Park Character Generator so my apologies to whomever it was.


My picture seems quite appropriate nowadays.
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
In 2009, everything is a lie. 2009 Lost Memories is great action sci-fi film from Korea. Hollywood will steal this one too eventually.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Late Goodbye by Poets Of The Fall

In our headlights
Staring
Bleak
Beer cans
Deer's eyes
On the asphalt
Underneath
Our crushed plans
And my lies
Lonely street signs
Powerlines
They keep on flashing
Flashing by

Fury has added this to his blog. Too cool...

*******************************************************
* What do you do
* When somebody lets you down
* And you want to say something
* But you can’t cause they're not around
*******************************************************

Little things used to mean so much to Shelly. I used to think they were kind of trivial. Believe me, nothing is trivial.
-- Eric Draven from The Crow

::: Tower View :::
Its The Little Things
Ever notice that its the littlest things that flash before your eyes? They tend to bring out the wierdest reactions in us.

When I am in the grocery store and happen to see an emory board, a soft memory appears before me; reminding me of a better time. Something I had wanted.. no, needed to see... for a very long time. Nowadays, something so small causes a large amount of pain.

Standing in the book store, I come across the James Patterson section. At first there is a hint of a smile on my face, which is suddenly changed to a large amount of anger and the need to kick the entire section down.

Somehow, its these little things that require me to get the hell out of there.
**********

From The Major Case Squad
Detective Bobby Goren was kind enough to grant permission for me to add him to the list. He posts entries in between cases, but nothing based on his workload. Damn it!

I'll have to see if I can talk him into at least reading Nicole Wallace's case file... heh...

So give Goren a peek, even if you arent a Law and Order fan...
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Italian government hits up Pron industry for extra funds. Pu**y, pu**y, pu**y! Here at the Titty Twister we're slashing pu**y in half! If we dont have it, you dont want it!
**********

The Grand Tours dont want to be part of the Grand Tour. Whew! To non-cycling fans, this is the same as the Colts, Steelers, Bucs, Seahawks, Rams, and Patriots all say they dont want to play in NFL.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Boiler by Limp Bizkit

I used to be alive
I'm so pathetic
But now I get it
What's done is done
I know you just leave it alone
And don't regret it
But sometimes some things
Turn into dumb things
And that's when you put your foot down.

*******************************************************
* What do you do
* When somebody lets you down
* And you want to say something
* But you can’t cause they're not around
*******************************************************

You used to be fun. You used to be warped and twisted and hilarious... and I mean that in the best way - I mean it as a compliment!
-- Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything

::: Tower View :::
I Am Lloyd Dobler
I always liked that movie. It always seemed appropriate, especially for me. Somehow, someway, the movie finds its way back to me during especially trying times in my life.

If you havent seen it, go rent, borrow, or buy it. Definately one of the few romantic comedies that I didnt mind to watch.
**********

One For the Angels
I added Angelia's blog to the list. She's definately a good read and damn good digital artist.

I got the idea of adding the music to the blog from her.

Check her out.
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Dykes On Bikes is now a trademark. I guess that is better than "Muffs On Wheels."
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Fine Again by Seether

And I am aware now
Of how everything’s gonna be fine
One day
Too late
I’m in hell
I am prepared now
Seems everyone’s going to be fine
One day
Too late
Just as well...

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly
-- Nietzsche

::: Tower View :::
A Date Which Will Live In Infamy
Never forget...


**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
82 year old woman fights the Law. And the Law won...
**********

::: Background Noise :::
The Hard Way by Fort Minor

Can somebody please just explain to me
What happened to the way
That we always said we would be
Right now I dont know why I push through the pain
That I got through
And I’m losing hope
Give me one reason not to...

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

Gi: I know! I'll get a meatball sub and have them take off the meatballs.
Me: Good Lord, woman. You're killing me.
Robbie: Yeah, Gi. Just get a regular meatball sub, then you can lick the sauce from the balls.
-- conversation from lunch

::: Tower View :::

I'm being too lazy to do any real posting. Too much going on to discuss now so this seemed appropriate...

Eat Me

You Are Chinese Food

Exotic yet ordinary. People think they've had enough of you, but they're back for more in an hour.

**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
No Christmas for you, jackass. Tis the season to shut the f**k up. (hat tip: Fury)
**********

Work bores Japan's youth. How ironic. It bores America's youth too.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
WthYou by Linkin Park

It’s true
The way I feel
Was promised by your face
The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you’re not with me

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

Nice palm. I read a great deal of pleasure in your future.
-- from a Taco Bell sauce packet

::: Tower View :::
I Got Six Little Friends
...And they can all run faster than you...


Ok, hard drinkers. Lets drink hard.

Which B-Movie Badass Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

hat tip: Julie
**********

I Got Your Quiz Right Here
Appropriated from Angelia.

A- Age of my first kiss: 12
B- Band I am listening to right now: Mercy Drive
C- Crush: Yes, I'm feeling crushed. Why?
D- Dad's name: Dad
E- Easiest person to talk to: Definately not me!
F- Favorite ice cream: Cookies and Cream
G- Gummy bears or gummy worms: Gummy Bears
H- Hometown: [CLASSIFIED]
I- Instruments: Piano, drums
J- Junior high: The 8th grade was the best four years of my life
K- Kids: The one currently at the keyboard
L- Longest car ride ever: The ride home after being suspended for fighting at school
M- Mom's name: Mom
N- Nickname: Kenny, Bastard... Depends on who you ask.
O- One wish: Hmmm... I think I I'll keep this one
P- Phobias: Dying alone
Q- Quote: I didnt say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
R- Reason to smile : Surviving the day
S- Song I last sang: In The End by Linkin Park (and I wouldnt call it singing)
T- Time I woke up today: I never got to sleep
U- Unknown fact about me: If I told, then it wouldnt be unknown, would it?
V- Vegetable(s): Green beans, corn
W- Worst habit: Obnoxious bossy behaviour
X- X-Rays I've had: 6?
Y- Years since I've been to church: Last Christmas
Z- Zodiac sign: Sagitarius
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Everyone is having more sex than me. And the video only proves it. Heh.
**********

Man pleads guilty to having sex with horse. This falls under the "What The Fu*k Where You Thinking?!" category.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Living In A Dream by Psuedo Echo

Fear lies over me
I feel it all around
Something is looking at me
And I think its got a crown
Its not a king or a Queen
But something in-between
Now I'm only hoping
I'm living in a dream
Its strange how things seem
When you are living in a dream

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

I used to have sex with a guy in a wheelchair. Our favorite position was sixty-nine. He called me "Meals on Wheels."
-- Lisa Lampanelli

::: Tower View :::
Yet More Random Silliness
1) Its World Toilet Week and apparently there is alot of sh*t going on. (hat tip: Anna)

2) Speaking of which, Anna, why exactly are you in Canada? The Grey cup was this weekend so you can come back now. Heh.

3) On the subject of toilets, I made the mistake of catching a certain part of the movie Jackass on Comedy Central. It was the scene where the guy goes to the hardware store and uses the demo toilet. Toilet paper and all. The entire time I was thinking "What the f**k am I doing watching this?!" The sad part was I actually sat thru the whole scene.

4) March Of The Pengins comes out tomorrow. I'll have to think about this one.

5) The PostSecret book is also out tomorrow. As a fan of the site, I will definately be getting this. Matter of fact, I need to add it to the links.
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Ric Flair takes out a driver. Showing once again, he is the dirtiest player in the game. Heh.
**********

The 24 Sex Tips From Women for Christmas. Great. Another present I have no use for.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Desperate People by Living Colour

Feel the earth revolving
See the sun dissolving
And the night coming after you
You have no direction
And you have no protection
What are you going to do when
Your trip turns blue?

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

Dee: Joanie, are you all right?
Me: She's just gagging. She wasnt sure if she wanted to spit or swallow.
-- from a conversation at work

::: Tower View :::
Where Is the Emma Watson Age-Of-Consent Counter?
I have to admit Harry Potter And The Goblet of Fire was pretty good. I thought the ending was abit weak, but since I havent read any of the books, I have no idea if its close.

The best part was there really wasnt as much of a flood on the pre-movie hype. Normally for the really crappy movies, they are being advertised by Burger King, McDonalds, etc, weeks before the movie even comes out.

The best thing I saw was the Sports Illustrated article on the World Cup of Quidditch. (Hat Tip: Muggle Net).

So if you got time, catch this flick. Just make sure you leave the kiddies at home...
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
Reasons not to buy an Xbox360. Damn, J is going to be ticked.
**********

Crying woman saved from cremation. Pay your hospital bills or get fried.
**********

Student accused of urinating in ice machine. No wonder the soda tasted like there was a little wang in it.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Burning Inside My Light by Mercy Drive

Hey!
Nothing you can say
Nothing is going to change what you've done to me
Now its time to shine
I'm going to take what's mine
While you're going to burn inside my light

This is better known Randy Orton's theme.

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider, he sat down beside her and said "Hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?!"
-- Andrew Dice Clay

::: Tower View :::
Its Going To Be One Of Those Days
You know what is really annoying?

Say you are sitting in a meeting with senior management of the company, including a couple of vice presidents. They are looking at your group for the work you've done for the past couple of months.

Then ten minutes into the meeting you have to get up and run the bathroom because something didnt feel right.

So there you are in the restroom, realizing you have just embarrassed yourself by having your water breaking two weeks early, and you are going into labor.

Now you have to go back to the meeting, get your purse, and quietly apologize for leaving so early because your first born has decided that the meeting was so boring that even he had to get the hell out of there. Then you have to call your husband, call the hospital, drive your tail over there, all while the 7lb 4oz boy is attempting to escape his cell.

So begins the story of Riley, son of my coworker, Steffie.

Congrats to you kids! Now you really have a story to tell, hm?
**********

::: Out In The Yard :::
The City Of Villains has invaded. Gah, and I havent even maxed my characters on City of Heroes yet.
**********

Parents blame newsgroup for assistanting daughter's suicide. Pointing the finger is always easier than looking in the mirror.
**********

Roberto Heras is suspended for positive EPO test. The Spainairds must be taking drug testing hints from the French. In the past 3 years, the Tour of Spain has 'suddenly' found EPO in their race contenders or winners, all of whom have been clean in all prior races throughout their entire careers.
**********

::: Background Noise :::
Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
Like my fathers come to pass
Twenty years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

Joanie: I dont know if I would like the Asian sauce.
Me: Duh! You know you would like it.
-- from a lunch conversation

::: Tower View :::
What's In A Name?
The USA network has found their niche in the TV market by saying Characters Welcome.

They've given nicknames to a variety of characters from their shows, reflecting these personas and what they are about. "The Obsessive Detective," "The Reluctant Psychic," "The Cerebral Assassin," and "The Bad Apple" make these people sound larger than life.

All this made me wonder what names would we come up for ourselves? What could we come up with that would reflect who we are?

After thinking long and hard about this (all five minutes), I whiddled my list down to three:

1) The Angry Driver
2) The Arrogant Bastard
3) The Obnoxius Jackass

They all seem to fit the bill. Maybe I'll put my image up on their website with one of these names.
**********

Which Begs The Question
I found this under News Of The Wierd. Sorry to say, this one made me laugh.

Former Cornelius, N.C., dentist John Hall pleaded guilty in July (an "Alford plea," acknowledging only the sufficiency of the evidence against him) to seven counts of misdemeanor assault on female patients, specifically, squirting semen into their mouths from a syringe. The state Board of Dental Examiners had revoked his license in 2004 after finding two syringes of semen in his office with patients' DNA (from saliva) on them. Hall's sentence was five years' probation, and his lawyer said he thought Hall would move to Jacksonville, Fla., and go into the flooring and tile business.
[Charlotte Observer, 5-25-05]

So did he ask them "Do you swallow?"
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::: Out In The Yard :::
The top 100 Toys of all time. Number one was fitting, but damn, I had alot of these.
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The 2006 Discovery Team line up is all set. Life without Lance begins.
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Ipod Nano under law suit for being defective. I always knew they were a piece of crap.
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::: Background Noise :::
Summer of 69 by Bowling For Soup

Standing on your mama's porch
You told me we would last forever
And when you held my hand
I knew it was now or never...
Those were the best days of my life
Back in the summer of 69...

I have to admit this is a damn good cover...

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

Cartman, your ass is so big, when people walk by they say "God damn! Thats a big fat ass!".
-- Kyle from South Park

::: Tower View :::
Random Factoids That Only I Would Care About
With apologies to Peter King for stealing... err.. paraphrasing his title.

* Many thanks to Fury, Robbie V, and Badman for getting me back up and running. Stupid trojan.

* Congrats to Sonnie's son, Ayden. Cute little bugger.

* Damn Sims 2. Its still an addicting game.

* Mike Straka's article get the best comments: Grr to those that stand in line to buy lottery tickets. You look like hamsters whacking the feeder bar for more pellets.

* Heather can up with some of the strangest celebrity rumours I've ever heard.

* My Name Is Earl is one of the best shows thats come out so far. Jason Lee is just too cool.

* I still want to be Jet Li when I grow up. Unleashed is another hit from Li and from Luc Besson ("The Professional, "Twister"). Get the unrated version and you'll have the original UK release, Danny The Dog.

* Speaking of unrated versions, I need to pick up the unrated version of King Arthur. I have to admit that the movie was better than I thought.

* Damn it! This thought of movies just reminded me that the remake of The Fog opened this weekend.
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::: Out In The Yard :::
Jib Jab takes a shot at Big Box Mart. Showing the real meaning of discount prices.
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Blossom has a baby. Hmmm, I wonder if Six is still available.
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Coming soon: Nancy and Tonya - The Opera. You have got to be &$*^ing kidding me?!
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::: Background Noise :::
As you can tell from tonight's quote, its a repeat of South Park. This episode is when Kathy Lee Gifford comes to town and Cartman says those famous words "Beefcake! Beefcake!"

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

One problem is that I have short term memory loss. I've been working alot lately, but the problem is that I have short term memory loss .
-- George Cloony on The Tonight Show

::: Tower View :::
How Fitting

You are a Social Moderate (43% permissive) and an... Economic Moderate (56% permissive) You are best described as a: Centrist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Try this out. The one thing that my results dont show here are the famous faces that fall into the categories. You might be surprised.
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::: Out In The Yard :::
Southwest kicks woman off of plane due to t-shirt. They should have kicked her off the plane while it was in the air. Stupidity abounds.
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Fake dog balls earns Ig Nobel prize. Talk about some brass balls.
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Gas prices lead to an increase in bicycle sales. Damn straight.
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::: Background Noise :::
Our Lips Are Sealed by Hilary Duff

It doesnt matter what they say
In the jealous games
People play
Our lips are sealed
Pay no mind
To what they say
It doesnt matter anyway

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************

What the hell is the point of camping? Its basically three days of you without your stuff. Oh yeah, lets make ourselves more uncomfortable. Thats a hell lot of fun.
-- Mark Gross

::: Tower View :::
Captain Obvious Visits The Office
Last week there was a dept meeting about what was going on in the company, in our dept, and what our goals are. The typical corporate bs. One point of concern was the declining morale on the floor.

On Friday, a feedback survey on the meeting was sent out, asking everyone to comment. We got the results back today.

For the single question What made this meeting interesting?, the best responses I saw were:
* Great breakfast!
* Thanks for breakfast
* The food was really good
* These meetings arent supposed to be interesting
* This really wasnt an interesting meeting. I've heard it all before.

Gee, does it sound like we have a morale problem?
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::: Out In The Yard :::
Tourist season has a new meaning in Florida. An armed society is a polite society.
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Go to Alaska B4UDIE. GO2HELL.
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Man lives with dead mother for twenty years. Norman Bates went to India?
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Doctor sued for treating back pain with sex. It wasnt the treatment that made her mad, but the fact each session lasted only 45 minutes.
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::: Background Noise :::
Otherside by Red Hot Chili Peppers

How long,
How long will I slide?
Separate my side...
I don't,
I don't believe it's bad...
Slit my throat
It's all I ever...

***************************************
* Days go by
* And still I think of you
* Days when I couldnt live
* My life without you
***************************************